Disclaimer- I do not own Mulder and Scully if I did the 8th and 9th season would have been better.
A.N.-Ok. For all of you people who haven't read my profile I absolutely refuse to update unless I get at least 2 or 3 reviews. Please, please, please review. I will refuse to finish the story if I don't get any! See what measures you are making me take?
Chapter 2
About twenty mins later they arrived at the Lone Gunmen's office (A.N. home work place whatever). "So Mulder what is it that the Lone Gunmen want you to see?" asked Scully.
"I'm not sure really. But it doesn't have to do with aliens. I think it doesn't involve any conspiracies either." He replied.
"Oh." Was all Scully could say. Mulder knocked on the door.
"Hey guys open up its me!" Mulder shouted.
"Hang on!" Shouted Frohike. He unlocked the numerous locks they had installed on the door and finally opened it. "Hey Mulder glad you could get here early! And whats this? I see you brought along the lovely Miss Scully." He greeted them. Mulder strode into the cluttered room followed by Scully.
Over in the corner sat a scraggly orange cat, next to it was a bright green and yellow parrot. Byers and Langly looked up from whatever they were doing. "I never knew your were a cat person Byers." The parrot squawked in protest. "Or a bird person for that matter." Mulder said briefly glancing over at it.
"Oh them, they are part of what we wanted to show you." Byers said.
"And that would be…" Scully said looking up from reading a ridiculous magazine article about a woman who thought aliens had abducted her toaster and were know using it to spy on her. People will do anything for attention she thought.
"This!" Frohike said thrusting a shiny silver dog collar in her front of her face. "You see Langly came up with the idea of using animals as spies. They could spy on the conspirers and report back to us, telling us what those evil sons of bitches were up to."
"But the only problem was animals can't speak English which would make us unable to understand them. Also they wouldn't have the intelligence to understand that we want them to spy and so forth." Langly jumped in.
"So we invented this special collar that would be able to give them some human intelligence and translate there animal language to are own." Byers concluded. Scully and Mulder both stared at them like they were crazy.
"Guys I have seen and said a few crazy things but what you just told me sounds a little…"
"Impossible." Scully interrupted. "We don't even have that kind of technology! We still have a long ways to go before being able to fully understand the animal language. Much less be able to translate it into English. It is, I repeat impossible."
"Well Agent Scully it just came possible. Earlier this morning we tried it on Byers' mother's pet parrot, Limey, and the bird was able to hold a short conversation with Langly." Frohike said defending their project.
"Limey? She named a parrot Limey?" asked Mulder in disbelief.
"So. Many common house hold birds, manly parrots, are able to say a few human words. Only because they were taught or simply copied their owners." Scully said.
"This is why we are going to try it on this stray cat I found in our garbage this afternoon." Langly said. Scully rolled her eyes. The Gunmen may be her friends but they still came up with weirder stuff than Mulder sometimes.
"Maybe I should have stayed at work." Scully mumbled to Mulder. He just smiled one of his boyish smiles and said "Well let's see if it works." The Gunmen, delight, walked over to the cat. Byers held it while Langly and Frohike attempted to put the collar on. The cat did not like what was going on and put up a hell of fight. Finally they got it on the poor animal, though they were covered in scratches.
"Remind me to never get a cat." Frohike said grumpily.
"Anyway let's see if it works." Byers said nervously. He flipped the switch on the remote control and than… ZAP! The electrified cat howled in pain.
"Turn it off Byers your frying the cat!" Langly cried.
"I can see that Langly!" Quickly he turned it off.
"Cough Well I guess, cough you guys can have barbeque for dinner tonight." Mulder said waving smoke away.
"It was working fine this morning! Maybe something just short-circuited." Frohike said desperately.
"Or maybe it just proves that your idea was impossible."
"If it worked on the parrot maybe it means that for it to work the animal has to know a few words from the English language." Mulder suggested. The Gunmen looked up hopefully. Mulder glanced at his watch, it read 4:25. "Well guys a good luck with your collar. I got to do some errands before dinner tonight."
"You got a date? Way to go Mulder! So who is it?" Frohike asked.
"One it's not a date. Two I'm his 'date'. And three I got go too." The Gunmen looked kind-of surprised.
"See ya guys! Come on Scully." Mulder said leading her out of the building with his hand in the small of her back.
"Bye guys." Scully called over her shoulder. Byers closed the door behind them.
"Not I date my ass." Frohike mumbled.
A.N.- So did you guys like it? I know this one was kind-of weird but it plays an important part later in the story. Remember I refuse to update if I don't get any reviews!
Spooky4ever