One Undying self-portrait
A walk into an accursed daylight, I've grown accustomed over the years to such annoyances. Obviously, this wasn't always that way. In fact, in the first few months it was a hellish torment. It doesn't burn me; a punishment of this nature would be far too merciful for a fake fangster such as I. Instead, it singes me, it torments me, and it toys with me endlessly. My flesh isn't meant for such an intense fever, an ice queen should never melt into the torment and weakness of illness. Woe is me, akin to a wild rainstorm I feel this solar liquid pouring down unto me from my quarter's main window. My whole body, my whole flesh, and my whole being tremble under its feverish assaults, unable to keep the icy liquid refreshing my inner tissues inside. Soaked velvet and hellish fever, a most tasteless combination. In such a predicament most would swallow their pride and ask out loud: "Father why hast thou forsaken me?". Heck, any fair maiden would do this. However, I am not fair, I am no maiden, I shan't swallow my pride and I, by Lilith, sure as hell have no 'Father'. Time goes on, languishing into an eternity, as if the very air around me was made of a thick fog that obstructed the very flow of time. Lo' and behold, I now drift away, far from my body, far from my golden prison, back down oh-so familiar memory lane. Blur of instants, blur of eternity and blur of opportunity, all one in that anarchy of a mental image I call memory lane. Before me a pulsation, chaotic blur of pure memory, which slowly swirl before me, slower by the moment, until it forms a clear image unto my mind. Somewhat as if memories were but imprints of time on our mortal souls. I see it now… the memory. I was so young, so greedy, and so foolish…
How might it have occurred to me that by doing this I would forever and ever after imprison myself willingly in this abomination? I'm no child of the night, I'm no child of Lilith, and I'm no child of darkness, for I am merely a foster child of eternity. Slowly floating into a halo of dim light I can see my own flesh and blood, my own doppelganger of a distant past. So frail, so small and so young, yet in the face of eternity it is my ever-present doppelganger that is, even, if I daresay, my doppelganger to be. I am bound to this body of mine, bound to this age of mine, bound to this choice of mine! Golden hair that shame the brightest of daylight, smooth skin superior to even porcelain, and visage of a femme-fatale, all these are mines. Yet, I shall forever be a mere child, a grade-schooler. In body mind you, for nature wouldn't have the mercy to leave me with an equally childlike mind.
In the distance, a weary traveler on who a cloak lays. Tranquil and almost intangible I still can hear the echo of his name in every hysterical recesses of my mind.
"Nagi."
Did I love him? Did I ever love? Maybe I did, however I could also just have wished for someone to love me, without loving them back. Is that love? If it is then all these book are full of lies, not that this would be the first time I discover an aspect of this world to be nothing but deceit. Not that he loved me or wasn't a pure bastard. Which reminds me, I'll have to rip his gut off if he's still alive.
Then there's Negi Springfield, his son. Oh dear Negi-kun… I have so much to tell you little Negi-kun…
This might be a dream but still I can feel even my body tilts its head slightly at the irony, my mouth turning slightly upward into a smirk despite the harsh fever that still assault me.
You can stab me Negi-kun, I'll bleed fake blood in exchange for your tears.
You can hit me Negi-kun, I'll shatter ice bones that shall not forget the puny hit you graced on 'em when I dig my fangs into your neck.
You can pity me Negi-kun, my heart shall not forgive your family nor shall my thirst be held back by mercy.
You can despise me Negi-kun, know that you shan't be alone in that endeavor.
I am Dark Evangel, the Undying Magi, and I shan't ever let you forget that. I'll have little Negi-kun no matter what…
Forever and after mine, not out of love, not out of hate but out of thirst. Thirst of revenge and feverish abomination that is my choice shall mix as I'll keep you, mine forever in a little cell.
I'll never forget you Negi-kun, that'd be far too easy.
No love for poor Negi-kun, only love for Negi-kun despair. That's Evangeline for you, 'Negi-sensei'.
My body pulls on my soul; I can feel it returning to its flesh imposed imprisonment. Still a thought linger in my mind…
Eternity's a long time in Mahora Academy, Kanto, Japan, Hell.
I can now open my eyes but it would be useless.
Same old house, same hold window, same old light, same old Chachamaru.
Yet I still open my heavy eyelids and stare at Chachamaru intently.
"Is there anything you desire, Mistress?" My dearest Chachamaru ask of me.
"Since when have I been in everland?" I asked cynically.
"I do not comprehend, Mistress." Chachamaru states in her usual soft-spoken yet monotone fashion.
"Nevermind, it's all about this." I say with a chuckle.
"Everything." I say as I close my eyelids once again so I may drift once again in a dreamless yet feverish night.
Yet before my mind shut itself far from all this torment I have one last thought that forms itself into my mind.
Yet, ever since that winter night…
The End?