Author's Note: Yes, this is under the name SireenC, but I assure you that it was, in fact, her sister Peleus who wrote this…Sireen is currently unable to write humor, as school is too close to being in session. So, Peleus, who is very obsessed with the games of Link (mostly the N64 Ocarina of Time, of which this is written from), decided Link needed a diary…er, a journal to write his adventures in. So, this came about, and here you go. THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. She has more written, but will be updating regularly…hopefully.

Disclaimer: I do not own Link or anything or anyone else that belongs to the rightful owners of Link and everything/everyone else. They belong to someone who isn't me. They're not mine. Don't even own the idea of a journal.

Day Eighteen

I arrived at Lon Lon Ranch at about midday; although, actually I am not quite sure what time it was, because it looks the same outside until it is night time. Then it gets dark, even though the sun moves--I don't stare at the sky. I have things to kill, temples to beat. Anyway…where was I?

When I arrived at Lon Lon Ranch, I found that it had greatly changed. First off, there was a horse head on a gate that was never there before. There was never even a gate there before, in fact; and why there was a horse head on it was beyond me. Next, was that Ingo said he owned the place and made you pay to ride the horses! What a rip-off, I mean paying to ride a horse for about two minutes! I paid up and went into the horse pen. A horse had been there, saddled and ready, but I didn't want that horse. I called Epona and rode her instead.

After I rode her a couple of times, Ingo decided to make a fool of himself and race me. Haha, you're going down. We raced one lap around the outside of the horse pen, and all of the horses were cheering me on, not Ingo. Of course I won the race, and Ingo was going wild. He was practically ripping out his hair. It gave me such satisfaction to see him lose. He wanted to go around another lap, and if I won I could keep the horse.

Ingo was an idiot…of course I would win again, and he would make a fool of himself in front of these horses and Navi, too. Again, we went around the track outside the horse pen and once again, surprise, I won. Ingo was freaking out worse then last time I beat him, and I feared for my life. He asked me if it was Epona that I was riding, and I could only shrug. The horse came when I played Epona's song on my ocarina, but who knows if it is actually her. It could be a horse that likes pretty music?

Then Ingo decided that I could keep Epona, but I couldn't leave the ranch. What! I was at the time really starting to hate this guy. The gates shut, and I was locked in. Ingo looked mighty proud of himself, and I wanted to pound him into the ground. I then rode around the ranch, wondering how I would ever save Zelda now. Then I didn't care at all about her, since I was trapped in Lon Lon Ranch without food…not that I was hungry that is. I decided to wait until Ganondarf came looking for me. He would have to get bored waiting around for me.

Then the unexpected happened--well I never saw it coming anyway, Navi might have. Epona took off at full speed and jumped over the huge wall, while I clung to her back. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. I realized I was very much alive, so I rode off to tell Talon to get back to his ranch. Talon thanked me for saving Malon, even though I didn't actually save Malon. I saved myself. I will take the praise anyway, though. Another mission accomplished, and I live to die another day.

Day Nineteen

I have still not gone to rescue Zelda yet. I simply don't feel like it. Navi keeps bugging me to go, but she better shut up if she knows what is good for her. I decided to go to Gerudo Fortress to play some games--archery is my specialty. On my way to the archery field, I realized to my horror that I never completed the Training Grounds and never got the Ice Arrows! How did I live this whole time without ice arrows? I don't know either, so if you know, please tell me.

After going through some easy battles, I opened the chest and found…a chest full of ice. Um…there must be a mistake, I need ice arrows not just ice. I reached in and pulled out a big hunk of ice with an arrow encased inside. Great, how does this work again? I shrugged, shoved the ice chuck and arrow under my shield, and left.

I continued on to the archery field, hoping to do good. Epona was nervous, but who won't be if I was doing archery from your back? The lady told me I needed a horse…was she blind? If so she shouldn't be handling arrows. I was sitting on a big, fat, chestnut colored thing! What else do you call this?

The first time I attempted this game, I failed miserably. I got under a thousand, and in fact, I only got ten. I told you I was bad at archery. The lady laughed at my horrible skills and told me to try again. It took me a long time to get better with my bow. The lady was now rich from me playing so much that I think she quit, and they put a new girl in. Then again, they all look the same so I won't know even if they did.

I finally got over a thousand; I got a thousand and one hundred the first time and a thousand and seven hundred the second time. The lady had a heart attack before handing me my prizes.

Day Twenty

While in town today, I loaned a mask from the Happy Mask Shop. The store did not make me very happy. I borrowed the Keaton Mask, which was very odd looking. I sold the mask to the guard at the gate to Death Mountain because his little boy wanted it, but I don't want to meet his son. He then put it on--what a liar! He said it was for his son, not him.

The next mask I got was the Skull Mask, which I sold to skull kid in the Lost Woods. Only he would want such a mask; after all, he is Skull Kid so he should wear a skull mask too, I guess. He gypped me on the price, but I guess he would not have much money anyways; that was probably his whole life savings.

The Spooky Mask was after the skull mask. It was not spooky, just kind of weird. I sold it for full price to the kid who plays in the graveyard, the rich little kid. He said the mask makes him look more like Dampe. If I was Dampe, I would have murdered the kid. Dampe is ugly, but not that ugly.

The last mask I had to sell was the Bunny Hood, but I wanted to keep it for myself because it made me look cuter. I sold it to the jogger guy who runs around Hyrule Field. He rambled something about finally being one with the wild. I sold it to him for more money then I could count. I could hold 500 rupees, and he filled it clear up. Heh heh, I am now rich!

TBC

Reviewers:

Vladimir the Hamster- As for Zelda and Ganondarf…well let's not go there :)

Ordinary Person- Sorry that the chapters are not as funny as they used to be, but at least they are still somewhat good.

Spoonz- Link, I believe, can use his longshot to get to Gerudo Valley.

Hopeless Maiden- That's ok, sometimes I need yelled at…ask my sister. Link can use his longshot to get to Gerudo Valley I believe.