Luigi walked over to his fridge. He was in good spirits, Bowser had been defeated again, Mario had invested in another sport and Luigi had a cheese sandwich waiting for him in his fridge. Cheese sandwiches were Luigi's favourite type of sandwich, it was a combination of bread and cheese, pure perfection! This sandwich was even better than your normal cheese sandwich though, it had Branston pickles on it! Luigi licked is lips in anticipation. He opened the fridge, but then, to his horror.
"Oh my god! Someone has eaten my cheese sandwich!" Luigi screamed. He picked up the fridge and chucked it across the room. "Who would do something so despicably evil! Who could steal a cheese sandwich, and still be able to look at themselves in the morning? This is worse than that time I found Toad in my mushroom casserole!" Luigi continued to shout such claims for three days, before running into a corner and sobbing quietly. It was then that Mario returned from his day of 'Mario Rugby.
"That Bowser has quite a tackle!" Mario claimed, before noticing Luigi crying in the corner. "Hay Luigi, what's the matter? Mario asked.
"Someone ate my cheese sandwich!" Luigi replied between sobs. Mario nodded.
"Okay dokay..." Mario answered unsurely. Luigi instantly stopped crying and stood up.
"You're right! I need to hunt down the bastard who did this!" Luigi claimed, making Mario more confused.
"I didn't say anything like that." Mario pointed out.
"Yes! I will squish him into many small pieces with a mega mushroom!" Mario realised that Luigi wasn't listening to a word he was saying and went upstairs.
"Whatever Luigi"
"Of course I will pick up your dry cleaning, but first, to find the cheese sandwich murderer!" Luigi struck a heroic pose.
"Do you have any idea who did it?" Mario called down the stairs. Luigi instantly dropped the heroic pose.
"Errr... no. I will some however!" Luigi then ran over to the fridge, which was half broken after being chucked across the room. Luigi opened the fridge, only to get hit by the door (like always). After shaking off the shock of causing a fridge door to hit himself, Luigi put his detective skills to the test as he searched for clues within the fridge. After a hour of finding nothing he got angry and randomly attacked the fridge with a near by chainsaw.
"I really think it was a bad idea to buy that chainsaw." Mario muttered after hearing the chainsaw sounds. He then returned to his book, 'Peach and prejudice'. Meanwhile, Luigi was still trying to destroy the fridge. He had finished using the chainsaw and was now using a mini gun. Luigi then notice something fall out of the practically destroyed fridge.
"What's this?" Luigi asked no one. He picked up the object and examined it. "It looks like a crown. Peach!" Luigi tossed the crown to the floor and darted out of the house.
"Actually..." Mario started, before realising Luigi had already run off. "Oh, figure it out yourself then." Mario grumbled, then returned to his book.
Luigi sprinted across the grassy terrain towards Princess Peach's castle. After getting roughly a mile forwards, Luigi got tired, walked back to the house and got into his car, which he drove to the castle a lot faster than he could run.
After driving through the fairly barren fields of the mushroom kingdom and driving over a couple of toads, just because he could get away with it, Luigi arrived at Princess Peach's castle. He got out of the car and stormed into the castle. Oddly no one tried to stop him, despite the fact he was carrying a machine gun. He quickly made it to the doors which opened to Peach's bedroom, who a passing toad had stupidly told Luigi Peach was in. In front of the doors stood Toadsworthy.
"Ah, master Luigi! What a pleasure to see you! Pray tell, why are here?" Toadsworthy asked, seemingly unaware of the gun Luigi was carrying.
"I'm going to go in there and kill Peach for eating my cheese sandwich!" Luigi yelled. Toadsworthy gave Luigi a odd look.
"You're avenging a cheese sandwich? Okay, whatever, as long as you kill the bitch!" Toadsworthy stepped out of the way. Luigi looked confused at how easily Toadsworthy had let him get in.
"Why do you want me to kill Peach?" Luigi asked.
"Think about it, she's a princess, which means she rules us by birthright. Now, if we had a democracy, I would have a shot at being the princess!" Toadsworthy explained.
"I though you were prime minister, doesn't that give you most of the power anyway?" Luigi asked.
"I don't have all the power though, and who ever said I was the prime minister?" Toadsworthy replied. Luigi shrugged.
"I guess it was applied." Luigi realised he was actually hurting his chances of revenging his sandwich, and went on into Peach's bedroom. "See you later Toadsworthy"
"Up a bit, down a bit, right, right, RIGHT! THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT!" Peach screamed as Luigi walked in.
"Peach, you're getting a bit too much into that operation game." Luigi pointed out. Peach looked up at Luigi, slightly surprised.
"Luigi? How did you get past Toadsworth?" Peach questioned. "With a gun"
"I would fire him, if you survive!" Luigi tried to sound threatening when he said the last bit, but he didn't pull it off well. Peach gave him an odd look.
"Why wouldn't I survive?" She asked. Luigi jumped onto her and held his gun so it was poking her in the face.
"I am here to avenge my cheese sandwich, which you ate!" Luigi's face had suddenly become red with anger. For some reason Peach didn't look very scared.
"You're here to what? I didn't eat your cheese sandwich!" Peach claimed. Luigi pushed his gun even closer.
"liar!" He shouted. Peach pushed Luigi off with very little effort. Luigi tumbled onto the floor. His gun fell somewhere under Peach's bed. "There goes my plan." Luigi muttered.
"Listen Luigi, no one cares about your stupid sandwich"
"Blasphemy!" Luigi claimed. Peach took very little notice.
"If you haven't noticed Luigi, everyone is suddenly acting out of character!" Peach pointed out. Luigi had lost interest and was searching under Peach's bed for his gun.
"Prove this point, using at least three examples." Luigi picked something up from under Peach's bed. "A thong? You own a thong?" Luigi studied it slightly. "An edible thong?" Peach went slightly red and snatched away the thong.
"You wanted examples right?" Peach tried to change the subject. "Well, Toadsworthy wants me to die, I haven't be captured and can figure out the obvious, and you have become a complete idiot"
"Why do you have a picture of Link under here?" Luigi was still rummaging under Peach's bed.
"You also seem to have a short attention span." Peach walked up to her bed, grabbed Luigi's leg and pulled him out. Luigi was busy messing with a bra he had found. "I need an underwear draw." Muttered Peach.
"Well this is all fine and good, but if you didn't steal my cheese sandwich, who did?" Asked Luigi.
"I can only think of one person who has regular access to your fridge Luigi." Peach claimed. Luigi went into deep thought for a minute.
"Wario?"
"Wario doesn't have regular access to your fridge!" Peach was getting agitated. Luigi went into thought for another minute.
"I'm off to kill Wario." Claimed Luigi. He took out his machine gun, which he had found under the bed earlier, and ran off.
"I really need to find out what's causing this out of character crap." Muttered Peach, just before Toadsworthy ran in carrying an axe.
It took Luigi a hour to get to Diamond City. Luigi drove around the City, not quite knowing which house was Wario's.
"Disco, Taxi place, school, Japanese building of some sort, mountain top house, dog driving a taxi, ice cream pallor. Oh! Ice cream!" Luigi stopped his car (causing a major pile up), and ran into the ice cream pallor. Inside a red haired girl served him. Luigi noticed the girl giving him peculiar looks. After being served his ice cream, the girl spoke to him.
"Do you by any chance know Wario?" Mona asked.
"He's my brother's evil double." Replied Luigi. "Who are you"
"A friend of your brother's evil double." Responded Mona. Luigi's face lit up slightly.
"Then you know were he lives!" Mona nodded.
"On that big hill thing." Luigi smiled and turned away. Everywhere suddenly became very dark.
"Now I can go and kill him for eating my cheese sandwich!" Luigi laughed to himself.
"You're going to do what!" Shouted Mona, making everywhere become light again. "You can't do that, I love him!" Mona instantly grabbed her own mouth.
"Someone loving Wario? Maybe this out of character thing is more serious than Peach made it out to be..." Luigi thought aloud.
"Sure, out of character, we'll go with that." Mona agreed. Luigi got up and looked into the sky for no particular reason.
"It is my duty to solve this mystery of what has happened to our personalities..." Luigi sat down again. "Screw it. I only care about my cheese sandwich." Luigi got up again and went to his car.
"Didn't he want his ice cream?" Mona questioned no one.
When Luigi arrived at Wario's home he realised there was no way to actually get up to the house (as can be seen in the Wario Ware manual). After a hour of careful thought, Luigi realised he had started to think about a movie full of exploding gypsies and tried to return his thoughts to figuring a way up to Wario's house. Failing this Luigi tried to get Wario's attention by shouting at his house. He continued this method for two days, until his throat tried to strangle itself. Luigi ran off to get a glass of water, came back and started throwing buckets of water at the hill thing in an attempt to erode it away. After the two hundredth bucket Luigi paused.
"Have I become even more stupid than before?" Luigi asked himself. His suspicion was confirmed when he noticed the elevator to take him up to Wario's house.
Luigi burst into Wario's house. In no time flat he managed to find the wobbling piece of lard that was Wario. "Now to avenge my..." Luigi paused mid sentence when he saw Wario. "Oh my god, you really are out of character!"