Dribble and Spitz drove their taxi down some random road in Diamond city. In the back of their cab sat Dr Crygor, Mona, 9-Volt, Ashley and her little Devil thing, Red (don't worry, this is still the random Luigi story, be patient.
"Errr, Dribble, are you this is the way to the Hawt house?" Mona asked.
"Yeah sure, why not." Dribble replied. "Wait, how'd you know my name?" Dribble was never answered, as Dr Crygor suddenly began dancing for no obvious reason, which was odd considering he was sitting down and not really capable of moving much. Mona rolled her eyes.
"This is the last time I blind date." Mona muttered.
"Count yourself lucky." Ashley replied. Eyeing 9-Volt angrily, whom had his head buried in a DS and muttering 'psycho' every now and again for no real reason.
"I'm confused. How could you lot be double dating when none of you know each other? Isn't it completely out of character for Ashley to socialise in any way? How could I even point any of this out, I don't know who you lot are!" Dribble complained. Spitz nodded in agreement.
"Well, there was someone who came here recently complaining about some sort of 'out of character' problem." Mona explained. "That, and my precious Wario... I mean Wario, just plain Wario, has been acting very weird, destroying Toad based businesses, using words more than two syllables long"
"My superior intellect has deduced that this person who came must be behind it. I further deduce that we aren't as badly affected because we're not proper Mario characters. I only say this to keep the reader clued up to what is going on." Dr Crygor analysed. Everyone moved away from him.
"I say we go kill him, whether Crygor is right or not." Ashley coldly exclaimed. There was a general agreement in the Taxi, which just goes to show how insane Wario's friends are.
"Dribble, take us to Wario's good clone's brother!" Mona shouted. Dribble pushed his foot down on the accelerator, and then lifted it off again.
"Wait, how am I meant to find him?" Dribble questioned.
"You're a bloody dog! Sniff him out!" Mona replied. Dribble shrugged.
"Sure, not like anything so far has made any since." Then, with that, the group of oddities drove off with the mission to kill Luigi.
Meanwhile, with the actual story, Luigi drove D.K's car towards Wart's castle. Luigi looked down at his map.
"Lets see, last time, I think Wart was in a giant castle which excited in Mario's dreams." Luigi stopped the car. "There's a problem here, but I can't put my finger on it..." Luigi pondered for a while. "Getting to a castle in Mario's dreams... what is the problem there... lets see, I can enter castles easily... getting to Mario will be easy... what is the problem..." Luigi kept in deep thought, occasionally muttering something out loud. "Can do that no problem... maybe if I eat some taco's... I should have been in 'Mario Sunshine', I don't want to wait for a 'Mario Sunshine DS' like with that other game." Soon, through these random thoughts, Luigi realised the problem. "How do I get in Mario's dream... again... this isn't some crappy sci-fi!" Luigi scratched his head. "I suppose I could try to jump into his ear, but last time I tried to do that Mario threw me out of the house for three days." Luigi sighed and shook his head. "Why can't anyone live in easy to find or get to places?" Luigi began to strain his brain in an attempt to come up with an answer. A small popping sound came out of Luigi's head. "Uh, oh. That can't be good." Luigi then collapsed. For a while Luigi didn't move, then he got up, looking unsure, and took off his hat. "Oh, that wasn't my brain, it was the bubble wrap I keep in my hat!" Luigi laughed. He then put his hat back on and started thinking again. All that came to Luigi was simply terrible ideas and catchy commercial songs. "Ah screw this, I'll go ask someone. King Boo probably knows how to do this; him and Wart are both minions of Bowser. I hope Gadd still has the royal ghost." Luigi jumped into his (or rather D.K's) car and drove off.
A while later Luigi arrived at his mansion, which wasn't his anymore as he lacked any kind of deed to it, and it wasn't a mansion anymore as it was destroyed completely as Luigi had never got a permit to build on that land. So In short it was lumberyard next to E. Gadd's house/shed/shit hole. It was this house/shed/shit hole that Luigi entered. The first thing he saw was that Gadd's place had defiantly changed.
"I don't remember all this fire and satanic imagery..." Luigi muttered, admiring a large picture of Satan, making sure not to step on the smouldering bones. "I think Gadd may have become a Conservative"
"Wrong!" Luigi turned around to see E. Gadd standing there, his lab coat replaced with a flowing black robe and his (very little) hair fashioned into two horns, also his glasses were red instead of blue.
"There's something different about you... are you wearing new shoes?" Luigi asked. Gadd raised an eyebrow.
"Actually yes, but I doubt that is what you notice, considering there hidden underneath my robe." Gadd explained. "Maybe you notice the fact that I have joined the dark legion of evil that are Satanists!" He laughed manically. Luigi slapped his own face.
"Another person turned evil. Always evil. Wario, Daisy, D.K to a certain extent and now you!" Luigi paused for thought. "I suppose Toadsworth was technically evil, but you can't blame him for trying to kill that cake baking dictator." Luigi added.
Meanwhile, Toadsworth was still trying to kill Peach. He had set up many cameras around the burned remains of castle.
"She has to come out sometime..." Toadsworth muttered, watching a large group of monitors showing every possible area of the castle. For an hour Toadsworth watched with unwavering concentration. "Must kill Peach, must kill Peach..." Toadsworth quietly chanted.
"Can you even remember why you want to kill her?" A near by Toad asked.
"To take over the world!" Toadsworth replied.
"Actually, you only..." The Toad never finished as Toadsworth got angry and shot him full of lead. With his final breath the Toad uttered. "Why must one of us die every chapter"
"So what brings you to my ground of worship for the dark lord?" E. Gadd asked. Luigi was about to answer, but E. Gadd cut him off. "It doesn't matter, I can use you as a sacrifice"
"Since when did Satanists sacrifice people?" Luigi asked.
"Since now. Were not a real religion anyway, we can do whatever we want to." E. Gadd replied. The mad professor then took out a large baseball bat. "Now stand still while I knock you unconscious"
"Gadd, despite the size of that bat, you're still not tall enough to hit me on the noggin and knock me out." Luigi pointed out.
"Who said anything about hitting your head?" Gadd asked. Before Luigi could react, Gadd rammed the bat into Luigi's... certain... thing. Gadd was surprisingly strong, so Luigi was doubled over and unconscious instantly.
When Luigi finally woke up, he found himself tied to a pole with fire liking below.
"I think I was once at a party like this." Luigi muttered. He looked down and saw what looked like E. Gadd doing the Hokey Cokey, probably because that is what it was.
"Knees bent, arms stretched, raa raa raa!" Gadd sang.
"I always knew that was the song of the Devil." Luigi claimed. Gadd stopped his idiotic dancing and looked up at his recently awoken victim.
"Ah! Luigi! It is time for you to be sacrificed for absolutely no plausible reason!" Gadd then began laughing manically. Luigi slumped his head.
"I wish I was a villain, they're always so happy." He complained. Gadd finished his random laughing and looked back at Luigi.
"Soon the fire shall engulf you and you will cease to be!" Gadd rambled on. Luigi struggled slightly, but couldn't wriggle free.
"It seems I need to use my intelligence to escape this. Shit." Luigi thought aloud. "Oh well, there are worse ways of dieing than being burned alive by a satanic midget. At least he isn't dancing anymore"
"Oh no? We'll see about that!" Gadd screamed, then began to do the 'cha cha cha.
"I really should stop saying all my thoughts out loud." Luigi noted. Luigi then proceeded to just stare blankly into space. After ten seconds Luigi spoke again. "Ah, screw that, it's too echoy in my head." Luigi then remember the flames slowly crawling up towards him. "Oh yeah, I have to solve this problem, or burn, which I've actually done a few times in places like Bowser's castle, and did not enjoy." Luigi muttered randomly. Suddenly an Idea struck Luigi. "Great mighty poo of Shit Mountain, I've got it!" Luigi shouted. Gadd looked at him confused.
"That was an odd." Gadd exclaimed. A sly smile appeared on Luigi's lips.
"Hay Gadd, I have a deal for you!" Luigi claimed.
"I'm listening." Gadd replied, who, having finished his dance, was currently drawing up ideas for a FLUDD which sprayed out liquid completely made of concentrated evil (also called New Coke) instead of water.
"Look, you release me, and I'll go take that King Boo you have in the gallery." Luigi explained.
"What do I get out of this?" Gadd asked.
"Oh yeah, that's how these things work." Luigi muttered. He then noticed on of his shoes had caught on fire. "Well, if you let me go, you can have this..." Luigi searched his pocket, which he just happened to be able to reach, and pulled out the first thing he could find.
"...Piece of string." Gadd raised an eyebrow.
"Why would I want a piece of string?" Gadd questioned.
"Errrr... It's haunted!" Luigi lied. "Also it once belonged to a famous celebrity, and it... oh, I don't know, was once used by Doctor Mario to cure lip cancer." Luigi then gave an unconvincing smile. Gadd looked at Luigi cynically.
"Really." Gadd sounded unconvinced.
"Have I ever lied to you?" Luigi asked. Gadd pondered for a while.
"Fair enough. We have a deal." Gadd ran off, and then came back with a fire extinguisher, but it was empty, so he ran off again and came back with a Toad, which he smothered the flame with. He then untied Luigi and snatched the string of Luigi, which he then dangled between his fingers, and laughed at. "Ha ha, cool." Luigi watched this spectacle for a while, and then began to wish he hadn't given the string away and ran to E. Gadd's gallery.
In the gallery Luigi stood in the gold littered room, in front of the picture of King Boo. Luigi observed the picture for a while.
"I wonder what pose I would be in if I went through that machine." Luigi pondered. "Knowing my luck, probably something embarrassing, like with my finger up my nose, or various things too sick to say out loud..." Luigi shook the images out of his head and looked back at the picture. "Now I need to talk to King Boo. I suppose I could always use that portrificationizer thing he has, but then again I could always do what I did when I was at Peach's castle, that's is if I was at Peach's castle. Either I was with Mario, Wario and a Yoshi, or Mario went alone while a Yoshi sat on the roof for no real reason." Luigi, after finishing his nonsensical ramblings, ran at the portrait and jumped into it. "It works!" Luigi shouted as he disappeared into the wobbling painting.
Meanwhile, back at Dasiy's nearly deserted castle, Dribble barged through the front door, followed by Mona and the others.
"Prepare to die Wario's brother!" After a long silence Dribble got confused and then looked around. "Aw crap."