The Professor In A Size 2

Life in the Weasley household was never calm. Even when Hermione Weasley was the woman of the house. She sat at the dining room table with her husband, Ron, waiting on their ten year-old son to join them for breakfast. Hermione rolled her eyes. He was just like his father, who was half-asleep at the table.

"Orlando Mercutio Weasley! Get down here . . . for breakfast . . ." She trailed off, watching Ron's tiny owl, Pigwidgeon, fly in through the (thankfully) open window, and drop a letter right into the pitcher of orange juice. He then proceeded to trip on the pitcher and tumble onto Orlando's empty plate.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Bloody bird's getting as bad as Errol."

Hermione chuckled. "No offense, Ron, but Pig's always been that clumsy."

She levitated the letter out of the orange juice and muttered a spell to dry it off. It was times like these that she was grateful for Errol, the old gray owl Ron's parents owned; because of him, Molly Weasley (Ron's mother), had taught her the spell, among many others that always came in handy around the house.

"Who's it from, dear?"

"Tiger Lily."

"Oh. How is she?"

She sighed slightly. "I don't know, Ron. I haven't opened it yet."

"Oh, right," he said with a sheepish grin. "Sorry."

She chuckled and shook her head, opening the letter from her niece. That's my Ron.

Dear Aunt Mione,

School's . . . school, as usual. My very first class was a blast! We had a quiz. And guess what? I got a 10 out of 10! I was rather shocked, seeing as I wasn't paying attention to it. I was too busy staring at our new DADA professor. He's so . . . beautiful. Don't tell anyone, but I sort of fancy him. He's gorgeous, funny, sweet, smart, and, er . . . gorgeous. But then there's the whole age gap thing, but, you know, I really don't care. So I guess I do fancy him. Hmmm . . . Is that bad? Got to run. Tell Uncle Ron and Orlando hi for me.

All my love,

Tiger Lily

P.S. Don't tell Mum and Dad. Especially not Dad. Thanks.

Dear Tiger Lily,

I'm so happy that you're doing so well in school. But do try and pay attention, dear. It's all right that you fancy him. In fact, when Remus was our DADA professor, I had a bit of a crush on him. But don't tell your Uncle Ron. Or your dad. They'd never let me live that down. So what's this gorgeous professor look like? You must send a picture, dear. Well, it's your uncle's and cousin's feeding time, so I must go. Write back soon, Tiger Lily. And don't forget that picture!

All my love,

Aunt Mione

P.S. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone.

 "Come in." Tiger Lily entered Professor Malfoy's office, smiling. "Oh, Tiger Lily. To what do I owe this . . . er, pleasure?" he asked with a wink.

"Now, now, Professor. I'm here to aid you," she said, taking a seat and laying her camera down beside her.

"Ah, yes. And aid me you shall."

"Now seriously, Professor. I have a question."

"Anything," he said, leaning toward the girl.

"May I . . . er, take a picture of you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "A picture?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Er . . . Well, you see, I'm making a scrapbook of all my teachers and friends throughout the years, and you are my DADA professor. So . . ." she said, standing and walking closer.

"Yes, right."

"Please, Professor? I promise you can have some. And you can do whatever you like." He watched her skeptically, twirling his wand in his hand. She leaned toward him saying, "Please? I promise I'll make it worth your while."

At which, his wand flew across the room, hitting something. Sparks flew and something exploded; Tiger Lily giggled. He leaned back in his chair, trying to save face and act like nothing had happened. He'd get his wand later--after she left.

"Right. Well, er . . . if it means so much to you, Kitty," he said, using his pet name for her.

She turned back to her chair, but he grabbed her and pulled her back into his lap.

"I need to get my camera!" she protested, trying not to laugh.

Professor Malfoy smirked. "Now Kitty. No unfinished business, remember?"

"What unfinished business?" She winked. "I'm just getting my camera."

"Hurry back," he said with a smile. She rose and leaned over his desk to grab her camera; he cocked his head. "Hm . . ."

She turned back and quirked an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"Huh?"

"What did you 'Hm' about?"

"Oh, well, I was just thinking how good I would look in your pants."

"I beg your pardon?"

"With you in them, of course."

Tiger Lily raised her other eyebrow at this. "What, you think you'll fit?"

"I'll make myself fit."

She chuckled. "I'm a size 2, so I'd like to see you try."

"So would I. C'mere."