A/N: I'm really today because this is the day after one of my best friends left for three weeks for France and Spain. So while I'm stuck in school doing stupid exams she meeting hot guys and carrying around that lip gloss she never gave back to me. Oh well, doesn't matter. I'm going to do a mass review reply here: I can't promise that she will live but likewise I can't say she'll die, read and you'll find out. Also thank to boleyn for the honesty about not liking to story at first, much appreciated. Thank you to all my readers and reviewers.
Chapter 16 - A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries
"Dying?" Patroclus said quietly. "Dying, she can't die. She can't die here. She was just released. What are you going to do?" The same question had been eating at Achilles ever since he found out. What was he going to do? A chill ran up his spine as he realized the answer: nothing. There was nothing that could be done. Not medicine strong enough to free Briseis from her ailment. Not potion that could make this all go up in smoke. Her life was as irretrievable as a soul in Hades, a disturbingly fitting contrast.
"I don't know, the physician said she had no chance. There was no way, no possible escape from her sickness." He was never one to bury his head in his hands and pray to the Gods, but was he it would seem like a suitable time to do so at this moment.
"I am sorry, cousin. I truly am sorry." Was it really that evident? Was the piercing twinge in his mind so readable? "The Trojans will never know that their precious flower, the jewel of their country is dying or dead. I truly pity them for that."
"Yes, they will go on with false hope in their minds. Who I pity is the man who tells them." Eudorus was the only other man still at the fire apart from the two cousins, he said very little and quietly when he said anything at all. 'Who I pity the prince.' Achilles thought. From the stories she had told they were close friends. Nothing more than close friends but still very cherished by one another.
"They have to know, she is all that keeps them alive. They would be too uneven to fight us, it wouldn't be fair." Patroclus added quietly.
"That is what war's about. It has nothing to do with being fair." Achilles said evenly. "We only want to win and to go home to our loved ones. That is all, this war has been for less than one winter and it has gone on long enough. Sometimes I wish I'd never come." He said the dying flame of the fire giving one last spectacular dance.
Patroclus laughed mirthlessly. "If you could know what would happen would you have come at all? You fight with everyone, Greek and Trojan, you killed priests and acolytes, you found love but she will die. If I were you I would not have."
"I didn't love her." He said sharply, both his cousin and Eudorus averted their gaze. "I didn't, and I don't now."
"Then why, if you do not mind me asking, did you never desert her? Were she any other woman she would be dying with the rest of the whores but she isn't. She's passing away in your tent, with you watching over her and she probably will have an honorable burial. If you do not love her then why all of this?" Patroclus asked blatantly.
"Because she deserves it. She also deserves to be back with her people."
"But she can't be. There is no way she would be able to leave here for Troy, not a chance, you have more hope going into Hades and retrieving her than returning her to the city." Patroclus ranted, a sharp glance from his cousin quieted him. "She has to know either way. It is her who is dying, she must know, you cannot lie to her like that."
"I know. I do need to tell her but not now."
"Then when? You heard the physician; she does not have much time left." The spoken phrase cut him as much as any blade. 'She does not have much time left.' It held a cruel mockery that when he wished to have her returned she was, but she would but was only returned to die. As though Agamemnon found a new way to torture him without doing a thing.
"I know what I must do. I will tell her."
"Tell me what?" A voice came from behind him." Briseis was supporting herself weakly nearby; her hair fell limply around her shoulders. He had never noticed how hollow her voice had sounded or how jaded her usually bright eyes seemed.
He stood quickly and held her up. "You should be back in the tent."
"Tell me what?" She said piteously. "What are you trying to hide from me?"
"Nothing, it wasn't anything." Achilles said nonchalantly.
"What are you talking about?" Patroclus said suddenly irritated. Before any person could try to stop him he told her everything. She stood staring back and forth between cousins.
"I told you I will overcome this. I can and I will." She coughed hoarsely and drew a sharp breath before walking back into the tent.
Hector stared at his friend pitiably, the youngest of his family had been sent to their rooms and the others had left to stalk around the palace. Andromanche had retired a long while ago as had Helen and Cassandra, in fact all of the court with the exception of the two eldest princes and their oldest acquaintance.
He pitied Melanon. It was an ordeal even the most veteran of warriors feared. There was fury in his eyes but also sadness and despair, it was a pain not Hector nor anyone in Troy could not cure. Perhaps the only alleviation would be death and what cruel restoration would that be?
If he had one yearning it would be to know what and how Melanon thought, his barriers were the strongest, his strategies were the most unsurpassed and his love ran deeper than any man's Hector had ever known. But why did the God choose to curse him so.
"What did I do?" He asked, as though reading the prince's mind. "How do I deserve this above any other man? Burying two kin in one winter, what misdeed have I preformed?"
"None," Paris said quietly. "Providence is haphazard, you're simply ill-fated"
"Gods why can you not curse him?" He asked the sky, the gardens were lit dimly the mass of the glow came form the full moon overhead. "He is much more ill-fated than me. Why is it that everything I do gets me from dreadful to entirely abysmal?"
Paris seemed to take offence to being called ill-fated and opened his mouth to shout but Hector stopped him. He was only looking for opportunities to force out his rage and frustration. Paris would not be able to deal with a furious Melanon. "Perhaps we should get some rest it would do each of us good."
"He died because I needed rest." He said bitterly. "I cannot sleep with that hanging over me. How can you? You were the one who ordered me to stay here."
"I was but I know that it was not my fault and it isn't your either. You can't blame yourself for something that he had control over." The elder prince said with jaded enthusiasm.
"Are you suggesting that chose to die?" He asked dangerously, eyes flashing.
"No but he was a good warrior. He could have parried the attacks if he truly wished to. What I am suggesting is that perhaps he had given up on Troy because of Briseis."
"No I spoke with him before he left. He was restless but he would not kill himself." He snapped at his companion. "I am sorry. I cannot find any way where it is not my fault, not that your consolations have not effect but he was my brother. He was one of my greatest friends and now...now I'm alone."
"You are not alone." Hentayol and Cartanye were standing in the doorway back to the palace. "You have us." Their older kin smiled.
"You're right, I have you two still. And the rest of them. And hopefully we still have her." he said in morose reference to his sister.
"We do." His youngest brother said confidently. "We would know if we didn't have her."
"I guess we would know, wouldn't we?" Cartanye shrugged in response to Melanon's words.
He continued on happily, each of the young children taking a seat next to their brother. "Either that or she is in the Eurasian Fields already waiting for us with Pramadas."
Over the next days Briseis made a full, if not slightly miraculous, recovery. Doctors could not explain it and she spoke to Achilles with a constant smirk on her face as though to never let him forget his doubt in her. She had begun eating again and the sparkle in her eyes had returned with a vengeance. As had her desire to spend time with him.
The transformation between early Briseis and her personality now was extraordinary. She did not evade him and recoil at his touch, but he could not help feeling that it may because she feared for her life. He could not help asking.
"Are you afraid?" He inquired one night. "Of me. Is this all a front, are you actually upset about me and frightened that I might try to force you into actions you would not otherwise have preformed."
"You have the last part correct that I would not normally have preformed such scandalous acts, even with my reputation for scandal. But no, I am not afraid of you. You really aren't as terrifying as you lead people to believe." She was turned away from him, her body pressed to his even in the summer heat.
"Neither are you." He said with a grin.
"I lead no one to believe anything. They lead themselves. I don't lie to them, they lie to themselves. I try to lead them right but they shirk me, I wish I could help them with the truth." She said philosophically and so much of a philanthropist.
"You never struck me as someone who would admire truth as of high merit."
"That is because truth is an illusion. For example I hate the Greeks, with some choice exclusion, also I am of Greek descent and I do not hate myself or my family. According to most people's logic one of these must be untrue but none of them are. How do you explain that?"
"Quite simply. I don't." She laughed and turned to face him, they were unspeakably close. "About the question you asked days ago." She closed her eyes and pulled away.
"Don't mention it. I was delirious, didn't know what I was saying." She explained quickly. "Please it was nothing."
"I think it was something, but if you did mean it then there is nothing to discuss." Silence fell and the intimacy was crushed. Both young lovers fell asleep with doubtful minds.
The next day passed quickly for the warlord. There was no attack planned and the Trojans kept to themselves behind their high walls, with no clue what was going to happen that night. He did not speak with Briseis until dusk.
"Come." He ordered. She was unused to such direct orders. "Don't make a sound; we don't want anyone knowing where we are going." She followed him obediently until they met with Eudorus and Patroclus.
"What is going on? I will walk through the sand at night with no clue but not when everyone else knows and they are just not telling me. What is this?" She stamped impatiently on the sandy ground.
Achilles continued walking in the dark until Troy was visible in the distance. The city was near unseen in the nighttime. Without the light of the sun or it's good-natured din. Briseis picked up her gown by the hem and ran after him. The two other myrmidons followed in silence. Finally the warlord turned to face her. "This...this is our farewell." Her breath hitched in her throat and she tilted her head and leaned closer to him, it couldn't be. "Probably the last parting we will ever share."
"No, you...you cannot mean that." She felt her eyes burn and she hugged her arms to herself. "No."
"Yes," He motioned for his cousin and soldier to leave them. They did willingly and in silence. "The question." She moved to turn away but he grasped her shoulders and forced her to face him. "I do. I never realized it and the Gods know I never wanted to admit it but I do. I never thought I would go to war and find love but fate has a cruel way of torturing me."
"No." She said feebly. "No you can't leave me."
"You were never meant for that life." He said with a shrug. "You were never meant to be a loyal wife and mother. It just isn't you." Achilles brushed a strand of hair out of her face. She bit her lip until it bled and the tears began to fall from her cerulean eyes. She wiped them away quickly. "You don't cry do you?" She laughed mirthlessly for a moment.
"You don't know. My father was a great warrior and soldier. All my life I was told that his pride rested on myself and brothers being perfect. I never asked why." She wiped away another tear. "When you are seven and all you want is a mother and father to be with you don't ask questions. Everyone thinks I am so flawless, so perfect but I'm not. I've tried to be but I'm not and I can't be." She stared into his eyes. "And after all, a good soldier's daughter never cries." He embraced her tightly.
"A good soldier's daughter never feels, but you feel Briseis. You feel love and pain and anger and hate. I know I've made you feel all those things towards me but please do not let our last memories be of hate."
"I can't guarantee anything." She said bitterly.
"That isn't good enough. I need you to love me because I love you." It was the first time he had said it, no delays, no hesitation, he just said it. The words stopped them both. "I do love you Briseis and I want so much for us but I want more for you. You say you've conquered this illness once and for all but I don't know. If you do..." He paused. "If you do pass and you are not in Troy I will be torturing myself. Those people love you, their love means as much, maybe more, to you as mine does. And they need it, they need you, I know the feeling."
"But I don't want to leave; I don't want to leave you." She said piteously.
"It doesn't matter what anyone wants anymore, it's out of our control." She faced the ground, her tears falling onto the cool nighttime sands. "I had a dream where we were together. You and I in Larissa and we had children and we were all happy. For a long while I thought it would be true but...it isn't. We will never be together. You know we never had a chance." They both fell silent. This was not how either of them had imagined their farewell.
"So this is it?" She asked after a long while of quiet. "This is love?" She ran her hands through her raven hair. Her azure eyes told him thousands more things than words alone could express.
"This is love." He confirmed.
"It isn't overrated." She said with a smile. "Why does it have to end like this? In all my books we would get to be together, we would live happily like in your dream. But I guess this isn't a book." She said, her voice wavered and she was trembling in the night air. "No this is real. Too real, sometimes I think as I'm living behind a wall. I can look through but others cannot see my face. It is as though I'm watching life, not living it."
"You're living life now." He said tenderly, embracing her again and matching his lips to hers for one final, bittersweet kiss.
The night guard was a tedious task. There was normally no activity, nothing to see in the vastness of the Trojan pampas. "What is that?" A voice came from down the wall." Another guard pointed to a slow moving figure. Walking across the plains. It could not be a Greek. Did they usually not run away from the enemy? "What is that?" It was not an animal, it was too large.
"There's no harm in looking. There's only one of them anyways." He shrugged and walked down the multitudes of stairs with the other guard. The gates opened just enough for the two men to sneak out. "It looks like a person." He said faintly, his voice echoing in the emptiness. The two started to run as the outline tripped on a stone and began to fall. It was not a long run, they reached the person soon enough.
"Who is it?" The first man asked, both standing over the body. The other guard gripped the woman's shoulders. He gasped a reeled backwards as he looked at their face. The other man peered in for a closer look and began to shout orders to the guards on the wall. 'Open the gates, alert Prince Hector and Paris.'
Her hair was matted, her dress was torn, her figure was slender and her eyes were closed but there was not a doubt in either of their minds. Lady Briseis had returned to Troy.
A/N: You like? I was sad when I wrote this chapter and I know the goodbye scene wasn't as good as I promised it would be but I don't know what is wrong with me, I'm not writing as well now. Weird! Anyways, the next chapter is sad. The plot maybe, not the wording but the plot is sad. Keep reviewing I'm loving what everyone is saying so keep it up. Thank you to everyone who keeps reading and until next time.