Disclaimer: Please refer to chapter one.
Haha I haven't updated for a LOOOOONG time! Take this as a christmas present then :) Oh! Here's you free packs of kool-aid, reviewers! gives kool aid to those that reviewed Rock on! With a rock. That's green and speaks spanish.
Chapter Two: Killer Potatos, a Drunk Ansem, and Sora Losing His Mind
(INSIDE RIKU'S ROOM)
Riku was sitting on his bed, playing Go Fish with Tidus.
"Dammit Tidus! Stop trying to eat the cards!" Riku threw up his cards in fustration. Tidus just went and took a card and started to chew on it, staring at Riku.
Riku sighed but then took a newspaper, rolled it up, and whacked Tidus across the face with it.
"Owies! You gave me a boo boo!" Tidus started to whine and then he ran out of Riku's room, screaming, "I WISH I WERE AND OSCAR MYER WEINER!"
Riku shook his head and sighed, "Well, now that he's gone..." He started sobbing, "My poor Zonkers! What sort of evil could have seperated us?!"
"Evil? I'm evil! Mwhahahahaha!" A voice from Riku's closet started to laugh like a maniac, "Eeeeviiiiil! Oh, and dark. But eeeevil!"
Riku stood up and screamed, "Aah! I have a talking closet! Are you a hobo?"
The closet door opened and out walked...ANSEM! He did the strutting walk towards Riku and flicked his hair back.
"Oh my god!! It's...an giant cheese block!" Riku was still screaming.
Ansem winked at Riku, "For you baby, I could be."
Well it was too bad for Ansem because Riku was homophobic, so before he could say anything else Riku had ran out of his room.
Ansem stood there and scratched the back of his head, "Was it something I said...?"
(ON THE BEACH)
Sora woke up with a splitting headache. He tried to remember what happened yesterday. But he couldn't. Heck, Sora couldn't even remember his own name!
Sora started skipping down the beach, having fun in the sun. Skipping down the beach he did, Sora. Down the beach was a moronic kid wearing a red zippery suit thing, skipping.
"Yay! Fun!" Sora expclaimed, "Hey, what in the world could that giant thing over there be, when it obviously looks like a giant killer potato with a pink fluffy teddy bear? Hmm, I don't know Sora. Let's go check it out! Okay!" Sora skipped over to the giant potato with Zonkers, Riku's beloved pink fluffy teddy bear.
"Grr! Argh!...Oh hey kid. Move it. I'm on a rampage." The giant potato looked down at Sora.
"What cha doin? Sorases wants to knowses," Sora grinned.
The giant potato was a little bit baffled by this wierd kid suddenly skipping up to him, "I'm doing buisness. Now move, I'm gettin paid to do this kind of job and I don't want a schizophrentic kid talking to me."
"You're so mean to uuuuussssss!" Sora started to cry but then he suddenly started to do kung fu, "Give ussssss the piiiiink fluffy teddy bear nowwww...or else!"
The giant potato threw the teddy bear at Sora, "Fine! You all are so...racist!!" The giant potato walked off to become a fried potato when a hungry Iron Chef made him into...MASHED POTATOS! Oh the horror! The agonizing HORROR! ahem Sorry about that. Let's move on, shall we?
Sora grinned, "Yay we gotsssss the eeeevilll giant potatoses outssss of here! Good jobssssss Ssssssora...yes...my preeeeeeciouuuussss," Sora started to stroke Zonkers, Riku's pink fluffy teddy bear.
(KAIRI'S ROOM)
"Wakka? Waaaakka?" Kairi looked around for her 'friend" coughshehasnonecough. The frilly dress that she had forced Wakka into was now lying on the floor, ripped to shreds.
(WHEREVER WAKKA IS)
"Huff..huff...thank GOD I'm away from her, the evil psychopath bitch of impending doom!" Wakka grinned, "Now I can play blitzball, ya!"
But what if the blitzball didn't love him anymore? Makes you wonder...wonder like curious, a new fragrance by Britney Spears.
(WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST WITH AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT)
Announcer: Reports have it that Ansem, a former...Jim I can't read this word..
Jim: It's..oh god..who makes these damn things? Um..you know what? I don't know....
Announcer: Aw screw it. Ansem has escaped from the federal prison of wherever it was. I warn mothers to keep their children safe because...he's a scary scary scary man! starts crying
(END OF "IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT")
(RIKU'S HOUSE)
Ansem sat there. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. But then he got bored sitting there, waiting. Waiting for something interesting to happen. But nothing did. So he went downstairs.Downstairs to the alcohal.
(AN HOUR LATER)
"If only I...had a brain hic Lalala la di da hic" Ansem stumbled around the house, taking occasional swigs from a vodka bottle (nasty stuff, really).
He stumbled around for a bit before deciding to watch the Rocky Horror Picture show.
"I'm a hic sweet hic transvestite!" Ansem was singing along to all of the fun sing along like songs.
Oh, the horribleness of Ansem's singing.
SUDDENLY, BLANKET MAN CAME IN TO SAVE THE DAY!!
(He's my own creation. If ya wanna borrow him, talk to me about it first.)
"Holy nightynight! This guy sucks at singing!" Blanket Man suddenly got an idea, "Oh I know! I'll beat him up!"
Ansem, hearing this statement, ran around in a circle, "NOOO! I need more...alcohal strength!"
"What in holy nights is wrong with you man?" Blanket Man went and beat the sh-nevermind. He just hurt Ansem really bad so that Ansem would stop trying to be Dr. Frankenfurter.
(KAIRI'S HOUSE)
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU MISS WAKKA! YOU RAN OUT ON MY TEA PARTY OF PINKNESS!" Kairi screamed and took a machete. Raising over her head she...CUT A PICKLE!
The pickle dodged her move and stood up, "I will kill you, meany!"
"Bring it on, pickle!"
WILL RIKU EVER GET ZONKERS BACK? WILL SORA GO INTO A MENTAL HOSPITAL? WILL THE BLITZBALL LOVE WAKKA? WILL THE POOR DEFENSELESS PICKLE ESCAPE FROM KAIRI?! FIND OUT ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF...DRAGON BALL Z!
Riku: whispers its called stoopidness.
I KNEW THAT. NOW REVIEW AND YOU CAN GET FREE...EVIL PIZZA SLICES!
sigh Another short shapter...