Just as I promised. Another chapter by Sunday. Thank you for all your reviews!
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Raven appeared in a forest miles and miles away from the city. She landed in the clearing filled with tall pine trees. She kneeled down on the grass. Her heart was beating faster and faster every second. She could feel her blood running through her body. She could feel her anger rising. She could not control the rage she was feeling. It kept growing and growing, consuming her very soul.
"Argh!" Raven scram as she could feel her skin begin to burn. She could feel her stomach twisting into a knot. She could feel her chest tightening around her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe. Her heart kept on beating at a very fast pace. Raven could feel her powers growing. Her senses were heightened and she could hear the animals in the forest running about. She could hear the squirrels trying to break open their nuts and the birds chirping. The sounds they were making her even more angry.
She stood up from the ground and ran towards the nearest tree. She balled her hands to a fist. She raised her arm and punched the tree. The tree broke in half fell down on the ground. The birds flew about in the air, frightened by the sound of the falling tree. Raven continued to run around the forest, destroying everything in her path. Raven punched through trees and rocks. She finally stopped when she sensed someone watching her. She knew exactly who it was.
Renseia appeared in the forest. She could see a very troubled Raven, wreaking havoc. Suddenly, Raven stopped. Renseia walked over to Raven. She could see that Raven had begun to change even more. She could tell the girl was very angry. She could see the pain in Raven's dark eyes. She rushed over to Raven.
"Raven?" Renseia whispered. Raven didn't know how to reply to Rensiea. She couldn't think straight because she was so angry. Her rage was making her irrational. Renseia stood beside Raven and placed her hand on Raven's shoulder. Raven quickly turned around and grabbed Renseia's hand. Raven had a deadly look in her eyes. "Raven you don't want to do this..." Renseia said. Raven didn't say anything to her. Instead Raven tightened her grip on Renseia's hand. She could see pain in Renseia's silver eyes as she twisted the older woman's hand. "Your anger is clouding your judgement." Renseia said. "Raven this isn't you..." Renseia whispered.
Renseia's words broke Raven's trance. Raven's anger was fading and she could feel her mind begin to clear and function again. Raven realized what she had done, or rather what she had wanted to do. She looked away and she let go of Renseia's hand. She then backed away from the gray haired woman. Renseia reached out to Raven. She put her other hand on Raven's arm, stopping Raven from backing away from her even more. Raven turned her head back to Renseia. She looked into Renseia's eyes and Renseia looked into her own.
"I'm so sorry." Raven whispered. Her eyes sparkled with remorse and regret. Her voice was so sincere and pure.
"It's alright." Renseia smiled and reassured Raven. "You weren't yourself." Raven stayed silent. "I should get you back to your apartment..." Renseia stated, breaking the silence between the two of them. She then teleported her and Raven back to Raven's apartment.
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Renseia and Raven arrived in Raven's living room. The room was completely pitch black. Thanks to their non human eyes, they could see exaclt where they were going. Renseia led Raven onto the couch and sat the younger girl down.
"Lights..." Renseia said. The lights in the apartment turned on. Renseia looked at Raven. She could clearly see Raven's face. Raven was in deep thought and she knew that Raven wasn't thinking about the fact that she turns into a monster whenever she gets angry. She knew that there was something on Raven's mind. Something was troubling Raven and she wanted to know what it was. "What's on your mind?" Renseia asked as she sat down next to Raven.
"Nothing..." Raven lied as she turned her head and faced Renseia. Her eyes came upon Renseia's. Renseia's eyes were full of concern for her.
"Really? Doesn't seem like nothing to me." Renseia replied as she looked away, a hurt look flashed across her eyes. Renseia thought that Raven would be willing to tell her what was wrong with her. Raven saw the look of pain in Renseia's eyes and couldn't help but feel guilty. She could feel her guilt gnawing at her.
"I saw Starfire again..." Raven stated, unable to brush off the feeling of guilt. It pained her to know that she was hurting her friend. That seemed to catch Renseia's attention. Renseia's head quickly turned towards Raven.
"What happened?" Renseia asked, anticipation and excitement could be clearly heard in her voice. Raven told Renseia exaclty what happened. "You told her you hate her?" Renseia asked, she was so surprised. Raven nodded at her. "But you don't..."
"I do hate her." Raven stated.
"Hate is such a strong word. It's not supposed to used lightly." Renseia said. "You're angry at her yes, but we both know you don't hate her. You might hate what she made you feel, but you don't hate her." Renseia said, her voice sounding so comforting to Raven. Raven's anger was fading.
"I was just so angry. I remembered everything that happened between Starfire and me, and I guess... I guess I just lost it." Raven said.
"I understand..." Renseia said as she reached out to Raven. She placed a hand on Raven's back and began to rub it. Raven looked at Renseia and Renseia gave her a small smile.
"I just never felt so betrayed." Raven stated. The usual monotone that she had was not there. Her voice was so sad. "I mean, Robin betrayed me, I thought he was my friend but he didn't trust me." Raven stated. "Starfire was the only person I thought I could always count on. The first person I ever let in..." Raven paused "the only person I ever loved. Then she betrays me by playing with my emotions. On some level she knew that I was IN LOVE with her. That I cared for her as more than a friend. She had to have known."
"What if she didn't? What if she was completely oblivious to what you were feeling. You did say you never never got the chance to admit your love for her."
"Because, I know her..." Raven simply stated.
"If you know her, then do you really believe that she meant to betray you?" Renseia asked. Raven stayed silent. She had never asked herself that. She thought long and hard for a response.
"I... I don't know if she meant to or not." Raven stated. "But in the end, it doesn't matter."
"Why doesn't it matter?" Renseia asked.
"Because it won't change what happened. I fell for her and it hurt to see her in the arms of another... to make it worse, she was in the arms of the man I trusted. Someone I considered a friend, but in truth, Robin thought of me as a threat." Raven paused to recollect herself. "Even if she didn't mean to hurt me, it still did. Nothing can ever change that. Nothing can erase the pain that I felt... the pain I still feel because of her." Raven admitted. For the first time, Raven spoke about the events without any anger in her system.
"Can you ever forgive her?" Renseia asked.
"No.. I can't..."
"Can't or won't?" Renseia asked again.
"I.. can't... I won't." Raven replied.
"Why not? Are you that angry at her?" Renseia asked. Raven remained silent, trying to recollect her thoughts.
"It's not really about anger..." Raven stated truthfully.
"Then what is it about? Why won't you forgive her?"
" Because... I'm afraid..." Raven responded. Her voice sounded so soft, almost like a whisper.
"Of what?" Renseia asked as she looked at Raven's eyes. Raven stared back at her, tears threatening to spill from them.
"Of what'll happen if I do let her in again. I can't go through all that again. I'm scared of getting hurt by her again because I know I won't be able to take it. Not again." Raven admitted. Renseia pulled Raven into a hug, she was glad that Raven admitted the truth to her. Raven felt relieved because for the first time ever, she admitted even to herself, the real reason she did not want to forgive Starfire.
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sighs... now that that's over, I can continue on the next chapter. So what are you waiting for? You know what to do. Thanks again for reading my story!