Hey ALL! I'm Back with an update. Thank you for all the reviews and stuff. Keep them coming.
Mr. D 91- I'm not offended by your question. I was actually wondering when someone would make this comment/ ask this question. Mostly everyone in this story is bisexual, or a lesbian. It's just so hard for me to make up male characters. I'm not a "heterophob" or anything like that. It's just that, in my opinion, it's easier to make romance stories with two girls, or two guys in them rather than a girl and a guy. Guy/Girl relationships are harder for me to write because guys are hard to write. I base some of these characters on people that I know. Most of the guys that I know aren't emotional. If I write a romance story with a guy and girl relationship, most of the things the guy would say and do would be... unrealistic. He would sound sappy, maybe even clingy. It just won't seem right to me. I know this is fictional but still, I'm trying to write believable romance fiction. Besides, not the whole world has turned homosexual. Even then, if the whole female population turned lesbian, they'd still be able to have kids without having sex with guys (Artifical assermentation, at least I think that's what its called).
PsychoRyko- There's that whole thing where they're kind of afraid of Raven. They did see what Raven did to those three girls. Besides, they have to take care of their friend, while they're trying to protect a city.
lady-of-tormentdeath- I am sorry if the story seems to be moving at a slow pace. Keep in mind that Starfire has no clue why Raven hates her. She can't figure out why Raven is mad at her. Raven's personality is very hateful in this story. She has a lot of emotions that she doesn't want to be exposed, especially to Starfire because in her mind, Starfire betrayed her. I mean, what kind of a story would it be if I just had Starfire and Raven tell each other what was going on? That would be too easy and love is never easy. This is a test of love.
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Raven sat on the sand, watching and listening to the waves of the ocean. She gazed upon the horizon. The sun light was touching the water, it's usual yellow rays were now a reddish orange. It blended with the darkening blue color of the sky.
It had been three days. Three days since Raven's last encounter with Starfire. Three days since she had told Starfire that she hated her. A part of Raven regretted what she had said, thinking herself to be a cruel person. Another part of her was justifying her actions, telling her that she did the right thing. She didn't know which side to listen to. Raven didn't know if she had done the right thing because she didn't know how she really felt at the moment. She had said those things because she was angry.
'People say things when they're angry... things that they don't mean.' Raven told herself. 'But did I really want to tell Starfire that I hated her? Do I honestly truly believe I hate her?' Raven asked herself. She was so confused at the moment. After her talk with Renseia, she had been doing a lot of thinking. She desperately tried to search for answers. She broke away from her thoughts when she heard a familiar voice.
"Are you cold?" Renseia asked as she approached the younger girl.
"No..." Raven replied, not bothering to look at Renseia. Renseia sat next to Raven and gazed at the girl.
"Still thinking?" Renseia asked.
"Yeah... I'm so confused." Raven admitted, her usually emotionless voice sounding so desperate. Raven pulled her legs towards herself. She hugged her knees and placed her chin in the middle of her knees. "I don't know what I'm going to do..."
"Do you want to forgive Starfire?" Renseia asked.
"I don't know... a part of me does." Raven replied, her voice sounding so unsure. "Then again, another part of me is saying that I shouldn't. That I should hate her and never forgive her."
"That's your fear and anger talking." Renseia replied.
"I guess it is... but I'm terrified of what the future will hold for me if I let Starfire in again. I was angry and I made choices that I never thought I'd make. I sided with the man that killed my mother. I've killed for him. Helped him conquer many dimensions by murdering everything that got in my way. Who know's what I'll do if I get hurt again?" Raven asked.
"Ravy..." Renseia said. Raven looked up at Reneia and stared at her. Renseia remembered what Raven had told her about Raven's mother. "I'm sorry..." Renseia apologized.
"Don't worry about it... I'd like it if you keep calling me that." Raven interrupted Renseia. Renseia nodded at Raven and stared out into the horizon. No one spoke for a while, both were too caught up in their own thoughts. "What were you about to say?" Raven asked, breaking the silence.
"I was going to say," Renseia said as she continued to look out into the horizon "that you should listen to your feelings." Renseia said.
"I listened to them before, look where that got me. I've done horrbile things." Raven replied. She remembered the many men that she killed.
"You say you can't forgive her because you're afraid of what'll happen right?" Renseia asked. She turned her head and gazed at Raven. Raven stared at her and nodded in return. "Raven sometimes, our fears can get in the way." Renseia said. "We miss out on things because we are too afraid to face our fears." Renseia said. Raven quirked her eyebrow at Renseia.
"So you think I should forgive her?" Raven asked.
"I'm only saying that you can't let your fears prevent you from doing something that you want to." Renseia replied. "You might end up regretting it in the end. You don't want that do you?" Renseia asked and Raven shook her head no.
"It's not just that I'm afraid... I'm just so angry at her and at myself for falling for her."
"Fear and anger can cloud our judgement. They can really affect the decisions that we make."
"Sounds like you're speaking from experience..." Raven replied.
"I am..." Renseia said. Raven looked at Renseia and saw the gray haired woman's eyes. They were filled with tears. Raven scooted closer to Renseia and placed a hand on top of Renseia's hand. It occured to Raven that she had not known a thing about Renseia's past. She had shared her past with Renseia, but Renseia had not told Raven anything about her past.
"Could... could you tell me what happened?" Raven asked. She felt a deep concern for Renseia. She couldn't explain it but she cared deeply about the older woman.
"No.." Renseia said. She saw a flash of disappoinment in Raven's eyes. "it's not that I don't trust you. It's just that it's not time." Renseia replied. 'You can't know the truth Ravy... not yet.' Renseia thought in her head.
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After Renseia left her on the beach, Raven teleported herself back to her apartment. She arrived in her living room. It was pitch black and the room was cold. Raven walked over to the couch and sat down. She let out a heavy sigh. 'What am I gonna do?' Raven asked herself. Raven was too caught up in her thoughts and she didn't notice the two new figures that entered her apartment.
"Raven?" a voice asked. Raven broke away form her thoughts, she recognized the voice.
"Gevea?" Raven asked. "Lights..." Raven said. The lights turned on and she could see her two mentors in the kitchen.
"Hello Raven... how are you?" asked Gevea. She looked up from the kitchen counter and faced Raven. Her lilac eyes filled with concern.
"Haven't seen you in while." Hetea said as she searched the refridgerator for food.
"What are you two doing back here?" Raven asked.
"Glad to know you missed us..." Hetea replied, her voice filled with sarcasm. She closed the refridgerator door and headed towards the sink. Gevea creeped up behind Hetea and placed her arms around the other woman.
"I'm sure she missed us..." Gevea said. "Even if she didn't... I missed you." Gevea stated. The couple had not seen each other in weeks. They seperated to observe the human dimension and had not contacted each other in while.
"I missed you too Gege..." Hetea replied. She leaned in and kissed Gevea on the lips. Raven let out a sigh.
"It's not that I didn't miss you two..." Raven replied, her voice filled with emotion. "I did... so much has happened since you guys left." Raven said. Hetea and Gevea broke away from each other. Hetea reached out to Gevea and grabbed her hand, she held the woman's hand in own. Gevea locked their fingers together. The two then walked over to Raven and sat down beside her. There was something different in Raven's eyes. They could see her once emotionless eyes were now filled with so many emotions.
"What happened?" Hetea asked. She was concerned for her student. Getea placed her head on Hetea's chest and Hetea wrapped her arm around Getea's kneck.
"Remember the girl I told you about?" Raven asked. Hetea and Gevea nodded. "She's still alive..."
"How can that be?" asked Gevea, her lilac orbs were filled with confusion.
"She's not human..." Raven explained. She then told her mentors about what had happened. She told them about meeting Renseia and talking to Starfire. Ravens mentors were surprised that she was so open towards them. Raven finally finished her tale and Gevea was a little teary eyed.
"You told her you hate her?" Hetea and Gevea asked. Raven nodded.
"Now I don't know what I'm going to do..." Raven told her mentors.
"Oh Raven..." Gevea said as she broke away from Renseia. She pulled Raven into a hug. Raven hugged Getea back and could see Hetea looking at her. Hetea placed a hand on Raven's shoulder. This was the first time ever that the three had a moment like this. In all the years they had known each other, Raven had never shared her feelings.
"It'll be alright... you have us Raven..." Hetea said.
"No matter what happens, we'll stick by you." Gevea said as she broke away from Raven. Raven looked into Hetea and Gevea's eyes. She saw love and concern in their eyes and had wondered why she hadn't seen that before. Her mentors had grown to love her and she realized that they were the closest thing she had to a family.
"We're family..." Raven said with a small smile on her lips. "You know, you guys should meet Renseia... I have a feeling the three of you would get along." Raven suggested. Her mentors turned away from her and looked at each other, amused smiles on their faces. She quirked her eyebrow at them but decided to let it slide.
"So why'd you guys come back? Couldn't stand to be away from each other?" Raven asked. The two suddenly turned their heads towards Raven. Raven could see the solemn look on their faces.
"That and something else..." Hetea said.
"Well what is it?" Raven asked.
"Trigon contacted us..." Gevea said. "He's coming soon..."
"Great! Just what I need." Raven yelled out. Hetea and Gevea placed a hand on Raven's shoulders. 'Now what the hell am I going to do?' Raven asked herself.
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