Stoopidness

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS STORY!

Hey. Well, I'm actually surprised I made it up to chapter 5. Soooooo...ENJOOOOYY! Please?

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Chapter 5: A Ton of...Digging?

(WHEREVER WAKKA IS)

Skippidy skippy skip skip went Wakka. His blitzball that cheated on him was a thing of the past, because he found something new. It was...Sora's keyblade. That's right. His keyblade. For some strange reason, Wakka had this thing for inanimate objects. Anyway, so Wakka was skipping and holding the keyblade triumphantly.

Until he tripped.

The keyblade gave a huff of annoyment and slapped him, "How dare you! I'm leaving you for Tidus!" It then started to float towards a small hole in the ground where Tidus was digging like a dog.

"Tidus? What are you doing, ya?" said Wakka. Tidus looked up at Wakka then started to growl. Wakka grew scared because foam was at the corners of Tidus' mouth, "Hey man, simmer down, ya!" Tidus took that as an insult then charged at Wakka, eventually sinking his teeth into Wakka's leg. Wakka kicked and screamed until...LEON MAGICALLY APPEARED WITH A MAGIC WATCH! Oh, was this watch ever amazing! He went over to Tidus, and smacked him across the face with it! OH BURN! No, really. Tidus spontaneously combusted.

(KAIRI'S HOUSE)

"Oh, Sora, you missed a spot," Kairi was sitting on a beach chair in her living room. Poor Sora was dressed up in a silly maid costume and had a pretty pink feather duster. He glared at her, "No I didn't!"

"Yup. Right there on the corner of my coffee table." A look of horror spread across Sora's features. It was...the dreaded coffee table. Sora had bad memories of that table. It turned into a giant heartless and ate Aeris, making her into Smarties. He sighed and started to dust it.

The table kicked him in anger, "Go away!" Sora cried and ran out, leaving Kairi to face the coffee table. She got up all calmly, looked at the coffee table eye-to-eye (though it had none), and then screamed, "WALA WALA WALA WALA!"

It was so angry, the coffee table suddenly revived the vampire pickle jedi Yoda. Oh no! Kairi rolled her eyes, "I shall get you Yoda!" She shook her fist at him.

"Oh yeah? RAWR PAPERUS!" Yoda did some superly cool jedi mind trick and turned Kairi into...A CHRISTMAS CARD! Oh, was it ever a scary christmas card though! There was little elves dancing and Kairi was dressed up as Santa Claus. The reindeer were glaring at her and they were holding fish. It was a horrifying sight.

(THE BEACH)

It was a little bit late and Riku still was dragging Cloud by the scarf. He kept singing one song over and over and over and over and over again. Of course, it was about Cloud and his wonderful advertures of fish.

"OH CLOOOOUUUUD! WHY AREN'T YOU SOO LOOOOOOUD? LIKE FIIIIIIISHIES AND THEY SMEEEEEEELL LIKE YOOOUUU," The "you" part was sung in a really high pitch that sounded like Riku got neutered. Cloud had this look of disgust. They kept walking (well, Cloud was being dragged along the ground) until they met Leon.

Cloud suddenly perked up. "Leon! Get him away from me! He scares me! SAAAAVE ME!"

Leon rolled his eyes and went over to Cloud and Riku, "You're stupid," He said to Riku. Riku stuck his tongue out. Leon untied Cloud's long scarf, setting Cloud free in the process, "There. You're free."

"NOOOOO!" Riku snarled and lunged at Leon, head-butting him in the stomach, "MYYY CLOOOOOUDDD!" Cloud started to run away but Riku dived at him and grabbed his leg. He started to walk again, singing and dragging Cloud, leaving Leon doubled over in pain from the attacking of headbuttedness.

They came across the hole that Tidus was digging previously before. A little light bulb appeared over Riku's head, "Oh! I so totally got an idea!" Cloud was knocked out because when they were walking, he hit his head on a very large rock in chich swore at him and beat him with a spork. A little while later, dirt was flying up from the hole, "Dig a tunnel, dig dig a tunnel," Sang Riku as he was digging away with a shovel.

Sora came running across and stopped when he saw Riku and Cloud, "What are you two doing?" He asked.

"I'M DIGGING A TUNNEL FOR ZONKERS!" Cried Riku in extreme happiness. Sora looked confused.

"But...if you have Zonkers...why are you burying him?" Asked Sora.

Riku gave Sora a look that clearly stated 'duh', "Well, Cloud has Zonkers and if I bury Cloud, I bury Zonkers, then nobody else can have them!"

"NOT IF I CAN STOP IT!" Herioc music played and Sora put a paper bag over his head, "BECAUSE...I AM RADIOACTIVE MAAAAAN!" Sadly, he put the bag on backwards so he couldn't see once more, "OH NO! AAAAAAAAAAH! MAKE THEM GO AWAY! MOMMY!" He ran into a tree and was out cold. Riku shrugged and continued to sing, "Dig a tunnel, dig dig a tunnel"

(WHEREVER ANSEM IS)

Since Ansem got drunk from a few previous chapter ago, he had a massive hangover. Unfortunately, he also had Yuffie over. She was prancing around saying, "I'M A BUNNY" Over and over again.

He growled, "SHUT UP!" Of course she didn't listen and decided to try and eat his hair, "ARRRGH! GO AWAY!"

"NO! YUMMY HAIR! YUFFIE MUST EAT! RAAAAH!" A piano landed on her, making her into a Yuffie pancake. She gave a small "ow" then died, going to heaven but she got kicked three times by angels, then she went down to hell where Satan got scared of Yuffie's pancake-ness, sending her back up to earth. So, she lived out her life as a pancake, coming to a gruesome end by being eaten by Cloud. But, that's a different story.

Ansem sighed then got a telephone, "Hello? Hello? Hello?"

It was the operator who actually was Captain Hook, "Oh god. Ansem. What do you want?"

"CHEESE ON A MONKEY!" said Ansem. There was a click on the other end followed by a beeeeeeeeep, "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"

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So that would be chapter five. Ehhh, I didn't find it funny but if I didn't update, Kiera would kick me in cosmotology class. Belive me, that's pretty darn scary. Sooooo...REVIEEEEEEEEEW. Please?

Cloud: You forgot to put the-

Shut up! That's for the next chapter!

Cloud: Fine...be that way.

Ok, I will! GRR! Hehe, anyway, so review, k?