Disclaimer: Okay, so send fan mail about Harry Potter in general to Rowling, but if you like this story, send it to me.

Chapter 5

No More Mr. Nice Snape

Hermione apparated to the entrance gates of Hogwarts early Friday, September 1. She hurried to her quarters and performed a few charms she had learned in the DA before entering to make sure no one had tampered with her room.

I am as paranoid as Snape!

She unpacked and prepared for classes Monday morning. She wanted to go take a walk outside, so she pulled out the Marauder's Map (Harry had let her borrow it when she took the job at Hogwarts, on the condition that she give it to the first child he had come to Hogwarts) and looked for Snape. He appeared to be pacing in his study.

Hermione could not wait for Ron to visit on Saturday. She would feel safer with him there, but she had feeling she needed to get the confrontation with Snape out of the way, or she would have to hold classes in the safety of her living quarters.

Thus it was that she went on her walk alone, without the map, and without a disillusionment spell. If Snape wanted to speak to her, he would just have to find her.

What am I worried about? Maybe he doesn't even do occlumency anymore, you know, what with Voldemort gone and all.

Does that sound like Severus Snape?

Poo.

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Dumbledore called a staff meeting later that afternoon to discuss the new year and welcome everyone back. Once it had ended, Hermione tried to get out of the door and leave Snape behind, but somehow, everyone reached the exit before her.

Snape shut the door behind them, so it was just the two of them in the staff room. Hermione wasn't scared.

And why should I be? He is just an ex- death eater who was in Voldemort's inner circle. He only tricked one of the greatest dark wizards for over fifteen years. That's nothing. Sure, he probably knows how to use the killing curse pretty well, but its just two words. Avada Kedavra. See? I know it too. He isn't scary.

"Miss Granger-" He began in a dangerously soft voice.

"Um, that's Professor Granger." She gave him a smile despite her nerves. Even if she was scared, she wasn't going to let him know it.

"Oh, of course. Professor Granger," he continued in the same tone, "Do you know what is the worst insult in the wizarding world, aside from breaking someone's wand?"

"No, no I am not familiar with that." she spoke as she edged towards the door.

He stepped directly in front of the only exit. "It is tampering with their memory."

She stopped, "Oh really. How interesting. I didn't know that. You learn something new every day, don't you?" She gave a fake yawn. "Well, I think I need to get nap before the start of term feast. If you'll excuse-"

"No, Professor Granger. If I could have just one more minute of your time, it would be greatly appreciated." a dark smile, which he might have thought was polite, graced his face.

"I don't think you were asking for permission, so just hurry on with it." her fear was replaced by annoyance that he was jumping around the subject. Plus, he couldn't hurt her when Dumbledore was in the building. She had to remain logical at all costs.

"Very well, very well." He seemed to be making an effort to talk even slower now. "I know as a fact that you attempted to erase my memories, but don't ask me how I know. I am simply a very powerful wizard, and I don't think you would understand if-"

"It was occlumency. Harry already told me, so don't try to gloat."

He seemed taken aback for a moment but quickly recovered. "The fact remains that you insulted me greatly that day, and the only way to get my honor back is to challenge you to duel and win. So, wands at the ready."

She simply stared at him in shock. He wants me to duel him- in the staff room? Is he crazy?

"So sorry, did your precious Potter not tell you that? Well, it doesn't matter; you have to accept."

"Whatever." She vanished everything from the room and enlarged the space it wordlessly. Snape raised his eyebrows; it was advanced magic. "What? You didn't think we battled Death Eaters with expelliarmus, did you? One, two, three."

She quickly disillusioned herself and performed a simple but effective blocking charm. It didn't block physical attacks though, so when Snape conjured some powdery substance and showered the room with it, her location was made. She cancelled the spell and went on the offensive with a charm that made the opponet's spells come out mis worded.

"UMBDA PELLSSA!" she yelled. It worked. Nothing Snape said made any sense. He began to use wordless spells, which was even worse because Hermione didn't know how to defend herself from them. He still kept shouting random things throughout the duel, though, which made him seem rather funny. She laughed, and this enraged him further.

Hermione was levitated into the air, but she sent a ball of fire at him, and he lost his concentration. She fell to the ground, hard. She bound him with ropes and turned his hair pink. He quickly cut through the ropes and conjured a panther to chase her around. She conjured a cage for it and sent it to the edge of the room. It was mewing loudly, so she conjured some water for it as well. Snape looked at her strangely, but she just shrugged.

They both shook off other thoughts and took defensive poses. They sent spells off at the same time, and she flew across the room and hit the wall, while Snape was encased in a large, clear ball. It was a bit like a hamster's ball, but it could only be vanished by the person who created it.

Hermione rolled over. She hurt, a lot, but she sat up to finish her spell. She let the panther out of the cage and sent it over to Snape. The cat growled and started chasing the ball around the room, while Hermione cackled madly.

It was in this position that the Headmaster found them in only a moment later. Hermione, covered in green powder, was slumped against the wall, and laughing in between her pants for breath. Snape, with pink hair, was rolling around in a large ball and being chased by a panther. He kept yelling something, but Dumbledore couldn't understand him.

"ENOUGH!" he roared. He vanished everything and returned the staff room to normal. Hermione banished the ball as well, and she and Snape got up immediately and stood before the headmaster silently. "Now, can someone tell me what going on here?"

They both spoke at the same time.

Snape mumbled something about, "potion ingredients…memory…spell wards…insult."

Hermione said, "polyjuice…challenged a duel…think I won."

"Cheater." he hissed.

"As if! Loser!"

"Ahem." Dumbledore broke in. "I think it would be prudent to let this matter rest. From the looks of it, Miss Granger was winning, and once a duel for honor has been won, the subject must be dropped." Hermione smiled trimphantly, but Dumbledore wasn't finished yet. "Miss Granger, I believe that we now know who tripped the wards in Mr. Snape's quarters?" She nodded solemnly. "Well, please refrain from obliviating my staff any further, and I will also let this go."

"Yes Professor Dumbledore. I am so sorry!"

Snape scoffed in disbelief, but Dumbledore smiled. "I have no doubt that you are. Now, to your rooms, the both of you."

They both left to go to their separate quarters, Hermione promising that she would never obliviate another wizard, and Snape vowing never to challenge Hermione to duel again.

Dumbledore watched them go and laughed. He slowly shut the door to the staff room and popped a lemon drop in his mouth. Then he pulled a photograph out of his robe that he had taken wandlessly when he first came. He laughed some more and then hurried off to show Minerva.

Finis

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A/N

I did not like this chapter as much as the others, but people were wanting me to post soon, and my sister seems to think it is pretty cool, so there you have it.

Okay, so that's the end. It was just a short, hopefully funny, fic. Tell me if you liked it.

I want to thank Emma Barrows for her reviews, and I want to thank the people who have read my fic but have never reviewed. I invite you to do so now.