MTB; OMG BBQ STFU! I'm back! And thank you for all the wonderful reviews I do enjoy reading them!
Vegita: (appears behind MTB with a knife in his hand, ready to kill her for the last chapter.)
Trunks: (Tackles his father and tries to get the knife out of his hand)
Goku: (goes in to help Trunks)
MTB; (Completely oblivious to what's happening) I'm gonna sing a song about the joys of growing cabbage! Oooo! Cabbage! Oh, Cabbage! I love you so! I'm going to raise you from a seed and eat you up! Oh, Cabbage!
Trunks, Goku, and now Piccolo: (Trying to keep Vegita from killing MTB.)
Vegita: SHE MUST DIE!
Trunks: Not like this! Not now!
MTB: Oh my beautiful Cabbage! Cccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaage! (holds the last note for five minutes, gasped for air, then continues to hold note)
Vegita: ...Is she going to stop?
Trunks: (shrugs) I dunno...
MTB: (still holding note)
Piccolo: Um... let's just get on to the fanfic without her...
Goku: I WANNA DO THE DISCLAIMER! (Disclaimer: MTB does not own DBZ... she never will... Don't tell him I said it but... VEGITA WEARS WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR!
Vegita: THAT'S NOT TRUE! I DON'T EVEN WEAR UNDERWEAR! (Realizes his mistake) Dammit!
MTB: (stops singing) GASP! So that's it! Now we all know...(shifts eyes) But what kind of underwear does Piccolo wear?
Piccolo: Oh hell no...
Advice from You
Chapter 24 ( Cccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbbbbaaaaaaagggggeeeee!)
"Does anyone have any two's?" Goku asked as he, Trunks, and Piccolo sat in the Capsule Corp. center playing cards.
"For the last time, Goku!" said Trunks, "We're playing poker!"
"No! You idiot!" Piccolo said to Trunks, "Let him think we're playing Go Fish so he'll say all the cards he has out loud."
"...Good idea..."
"Hey guys! I have four aces!" said Goku, "That gives me two pairs!"
"Dammit!" cried Trunks and Piccolo in unison as they threw their cards down.
"Cut them off," said a voice behind them. Trunks and Piccolo turned around to see Vegita standing there with grave look on his face.
Goku looked up, "Hey Vegita! So...," he winked, "How did it go last night?"
"I'm not telling you!" he spat, "Now remove these ridiculous ears off my head!"
"But... I love them!" Piccolo suddenly blurted out. The three Saiyain-jinns stared at him as the Namek looked away.
"Okay," said Vegita slowly, "I'll forget that happened."
"But why do you want them removed all of a sudden?" asked Trunks, "I thought you said you knew how to get rid of them."
"I do know! In fact, the reason I wanted the woman was because she was the only way to get rid of them! But they're still here! Why? Why! PORQUE?"
Goku walked up to him and patted the prince on the shoulder, "There there, Vegita. You can go ahead and cry. Nobody's going to think of you as any less of a man."
"I will," said Trunks.
"Damn you! I was going to get it on camera! But you couldn't shut that future mouth of yours, could you!" cried Goku.
"Look," said Vegita, "just cut them off! I want them gone today!"
Goku turned to Piccolo, "Don't you have a license in Plastic Surgery?"
"We're weren't suppose to speak of that, remember?" said Piccolo as he looked around the room suspiciously.
"Well, it's an emergency!"
Piccolo signed, "Fine. But the patient has to swear an oath to silence, got it?"
Vegita nodded. "Good," said the Namek, "Let's get him ready."
MOMENTS LATER
Bulma slowly yawned and reached out for her new husband, Vegita who was supposed to next to her in bed. When she only felt the cold sheets, her eyes instantly opened and she sat up. Where did he go? She jumped out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. He's not in there...
"BULMA! BREAKFAST!" Bulma heard her mother call from downstairs. She rolled her eyes, "Oh, course! He's probably starving!" She giggled as she thought about last night's athletic events and began to get dressed.
She pranced down the stairs to the kitchen humming a song she just made up. When she arrived at her destination, she quickly looked around for her new husband. But he wasn't there...
Bulma lowered her head. Did she do something wrong last night? Then she thought of something that could have drove him away. The heiress coughed in her hand and sniffed. No, it wasn't her breath. What was it? Why wasn't he here with her? She nervously twiddled her thumbs and decided to skip breakfast to search for Vegita.
MEANWHILE
"Um... Piccolo?" asked Trunks, "Are you sure about performing Vegita's operation in the Center?" He rolled the prince's stretcher into the room. Piccolo, Goku, and Trunks were wearing the scrubs, latex gloves, and masks all for the sake of beauty.
"No," said the Namek, "But it's the only place where he can relax and read a brochure."
"I like this brochure," said Vegita as he lay on a stretcher reading Capsule Corp. Is this a job for you?, "When I leave, I'm going to take it with me." He blinked, "You know, I wonder what my parents would have thought when they found out that I bedded with an alien."
WHERE EVER VEGITA'S FATHER IS
"YES! GO VEGITA! GO VEGITA! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! NOT FOR REAL REAL! JUST FOR PLAY PLAY! IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME!" The king turned to Bardock, who was standing there with a disturbed look on his face. "Did your son do that well? Did he, Bardock!"
The Saiyain-jinn signed, "No, sire. He did not. The force is strong within the prince." (A/N: Thanks Kentucky Fly Chick!)
NOW TO WHERE EVER VEGITA'S MOTHER IS
"BLOOD! MUST FEAST ON BLOOD!" She then attacks some poor, random man and begins to eat his head.
NOW BACK TO CAPSULE CORP. CENTER
The prince signed, "Mother..."
"Now," said Piccolo approaching Vegita, "We will have to knock you out."
"Like how? With some sleeping gas?"
"No. Not at all. But I'm not going to tell you. Instead, I'll have Goku blurt it out stupidly."
"JUDO CHOP!" cried Goku as he attacked Vegita's neck with his chopping hand. Vegita instantly fell unconscious.
"Huh...," said Piccolo, "I thought that wouldn't work. I just wanted him to get mad and beat you senseless until he got tired but... you know... that works too." Piccolo held out his hand, "Nurse, give me the scalpel."
Trunks glared at the green man, "I'm not a nurse," but handed him the scalpel anyway.
"Alright," said Piccolo, "This is a very delicate procedure. Nobody make a sound." He inched the scalpel closer and closer to Vegita's ears.
Suddenly.
"HEY GUYS! Have you seen Vegita?" said Bulma, loudly.
The three fighters turned around to face her and desperately trying to cover up the stretcher. All with guilty, nervous faces on.
"What did you say?" asked Trunks with a shaky voice.
"I said, have you see Vegita?" the heiress said.
A perverted grin went across Goku's face, "Why?"
Bulma blushed, "No reason... it-it's just he wasn't at breakfast and- I was just... you know... wondering... you know... where he was..."
The grin never left the Saiyain-jinn's face, "Riiiiight..."
Bulma then noticed something, "Why are you all dressed like doctors?"
The fighters looked down at their attire. "We were.. Um... Playing Operation!" said Trunks quickly.
"Yeah!" said Piccolo, "The game seems so much more real if you wear costumes!"
"I'm going to get the funny bone!" said Goku in song as he turned to the stretcher.
Piccolo pulled Goku and Trunks to him and whispered, "Take the stretcher and run like Bush out of a Gay Rights Movement!" (MTB: Ooh! I'm bad!)
"I don't think we can go that fast...," said Goku nervously. (MTB: BAM!)
"Just go. I'll distract Bulma." Goku and Trunks grinned again at Bulma and began to slowly push the stretcher away.
"So, Bulma," Piccolo said trying to start a conversation, but he couldn't because of his poor social skills, "You have blue hair. That's all very interesting."
"It's natural, you know," said Bulma.
"Really? You know I thought that you know, you might have colored it, but then I said to myself, 'If you can be green then Bulma can most certainly have natural blue hair.'"
"Hey," said Bulma looking over Piccolo's shoulder, "where are Goku and the Future guy heading to in such a rush?"Piccolo turned around to see the two fighters rushing out the door.
"Oh no!" said Piccolo in a feigned anger voice, "Those two jerks are trying to cheat me. I'll get them back though. Grr." The Namek ran after them crying, "Hurry! And don't worry! I'll give us all new faces in Guam!"
Goku and Trunks hurried out of Capsule Corp. and into the front lawn with the unconscious Vegita slightly bouncing on the stretcher. "Run!" said Piccolo finally catching up to the Saiyain-jinns, "And don't look back!"
Whoop! and an angry Bulma suddenly appeared in front of the three. The fighters screeched to a halt.
"H-how did you do that?" asked a perplexed Goku.
Bulma held up a watch, "Teleportation watch. Now why are all three of you in such a hurry to get away from me? And this Operation game is way too big," with that she pulled the sheet off the stretcher revealing Vegita.
Silence. Pure silence. Nothing but silence. So silent that you could hear Dr. Briefs' cat singing opera in the background, but nobody paid any attention to it because of the pure shock. The silence was so quiet (Mass of readers: OK MTB! WE GOT IT!) Fine... big jerks.
Then a single tear fell to the ground. It was Goku's. His allergies were bothering him again. Then Bulma started crying, not because of allergies, but because of sadness. The ears. Those terrible ears were still there. He lied to her. He told her they were meant to be.
Bulma threw the blanket at Goku, Piccolo, and Trunks and ran off, sobbing the entire time. Goku signed sadly, "Man, are Bulma's allergies bad."
Unable to hold back any longer, Piccolo fell to the ground crying. Goku kneeled to him, "Wha-what are you crying about?"
"I just... sniff... found out... VEGITA'S INSURANCE HAS EXPIRED!" Piccolo shouted.
Trunks backhanded them both. "Guys! This is serious!" he said, "My mom hates Dad! We have to get them together... again. But for the last time!"
Goku stood up, "Trunks is right! Let's wake up Vegita and get him back with Bulma! Again... But for the last time!"
"Did I hear a break-up?" said a mysterious voice behind the fighters. It was none other than Rick Rickstien, ready for action!
"Rick Rickstien!" cried the fighters happily.
"Thank Kami you're here, Rick!" said Trunks rushing up to him like a fan-girl.
"It's ok, now," said Rick, "Wake up the sleeping idiot!"
"JUDO SLAP!" said Goku slapping Vegita across the face. The prince shot up into a sitting position, looking around like he was in fight.
"What's going on?" said the confused Saiyain-jinn, he reached up at his head, "Are my ears gone?"
"No," said Piccolo, "There were some complications. 1: Your insurance expired."
"I wonder if I still have my dental plans though," Vegita interrupted.
"No, you don't" said Piccolo, "2: Bulma found out that you still have the ears and now she's pissed off at you."
"But luckily," Goku jumped in, "Rick Rickstien is here to fix that!"
Rick flashed a smile, "Now Vegita, don't panic."
"Too late," said Trunks handing a paper bag to the hyperventilating Vegita.
"Look, ever break-up can be fixed with a cliche from a movie. Today we're going to use a very famous cliche that involves a stereo."
"Oh, no," said Vegita.
"Oh, yes," said Rick.
MEANWHILE
Bulma lay on her bed, crying into her pillow. Why did he do that to her? Why do all those men keep hurting her? What did she ever do to deserve such harsh treatment from men? Why- Oh, a nickel. Wait... A boy nickel! She tossed the nickel across and continued to cry.
Unknown to her, Vegita had been throwing pebbles at her window to get her attention for like a minute. But of course, knowing the Saiyain-jinn's lack of patience for time, Vegita went to a get a bigger rock. He returned with a boulder and tossed it roughly at Bulma's window.
The heiress was still crying when she suddenly heard an explosion of broken glass in her room. She turned around to see a giant boulder in her room and a huge whole where her window should have been.
"WOMAN!" she heard some scream from outside. She signed knowing it was Vegita was had done the dirty work. Bulma got up from her bed and stomped her way towards the hole in her wall. "What! Vegita, Prince of Dirty Liars!" she said glaring darkly at him.
Vegita didn't answer her but instead turned his attention to a large silver stereo. He pushed the "Play" button and lifted the stereo over his head. As the music played, the two stared at each other for some time.
But Bulma wanted to yell at Vegita. "You dirty, no good, bastard! How could you blah blah blah! Blah blah blah-
Vegita turned around to a conveniently placed bush behind him. "Now what?" he whispered to the bush.
Rick's head popped up and he said in a dramatic manner, "Now, Vegita. Tell her the truth! Tell her everything you've always wanted to tell her! Tell her... what she truly means to you!"
Vegita signed and scratched his ears, knowing Goku had a camera with him and was going to blackmail him sooner or later. "I-I," he signed again. Damn this was hard! "You-you... you..." Damn it!
Bulma stopped, "What? Just spit it out!"
"Look! I thought the ears would go away too! I don't know what's wrong! But even if you aren't my true mate I can't be with any other woman because we're still married permanently! That and...," he dropped his voice to a whisper, "I don't want to be with any other woman..."
Bulma looked at him confused, "What did you say?"
"I said," he signed, "Even if you aren't my true mate, I'll still like to be with you forever."
Bulma grinned happily after hearing those words, but she wanted one more thing. "Say it."
"Say what?" asked Vegita.
"Say the words I want to hear," she said in a sing-song fashion.
"I-I," the prince grinded his teeth down, "I l-lo-lo..."
"It's not that hard! Come on Veggie!"
"You can do it, Vegita!" cried Goku, Trunks, Piccolo, and Rick from behind the bush.
"I-I lov-love yo-you, Bul- Bul- Bulma." Vegita dropped to his knees. Those words took a lot out of him.
"Really?" asked the delighted heiress.
Vegita's mouth twitched, "Y-yes."
Goku stood up from the bush with tears in his eyes, "So much love!" He pulled a cell phone from his pocket and began to dial his house number. "Hello? Chi Chi? I just want to let you know that you mean everything to me! Things are gonna be different now! I'll do anything for you! I love you Chi!" he cried into the phone.
"I can't take anymore!" cried Trunks who pulled out his own cell phone and began to dial MTB's number, "Hello? MTB? I LOVE YOU! And it's not the Trunks Lust that's talking!"
Piccolo stared at the two fighters then turned his attention to Vegita, who was slowly getting up. The Namek's eyes grew wide. "Vegita!" he called out, "Scratch your head!"
"No way Namek! Simon didn't say," the prince said wagging his finger.
"You idiot! Just scratch your head!"
Vegita scratched where his ears were, well, his ears would have been. Vegita mouth fell open as he frantically searched through his head for his ears.
They were gone! Forever! No more!
"Yes! They're gone! My ears are gone!" said Vegita happily while he also checked his backside to see that his tail was gone too, "Yes! Now I can do the dance I had been preparing for! My Those-stupid-ears-are-finally-gone-and-I-got-laid-too! dance!" As he danced, Goku, Trunks, Piccolo, and Rick all noticed how Vegita couldn't dance and they decided they would get him dance lessons later.
"Well," said Rick tipping his hat, "My job is done here."
"Where are you going now, Mr. Rick?" asked Goku.
"I'll go where ever I'm needed," Rick answered in a dramatic fashion as he began to walk off into the sunset. Vegita stopped his terrible dancing and walked towards the other three fighters.
"Good-bye, Rick Rickstien," said Trunks waving good-bye, "I'll never forget you."
"Nor will I, Rick," said Vegita also waving.
"Sniff," said Goku near tears, "Rick Rickstien is the MAN!"
Piccolo patted Goku on the shoulder, "It's ok, maybe, just maybe, we'll see him again."
Rick Rickstien continued to walk away from them until he could no longer be seen. The four fighters stood there though reminiscing through all the memories involving Rick.
"Meeemoooorrriiiess!" cried Goku in song.
Piccolo backhanded him.
MTB: The End? I thinkth not!
Vegita: What? Are you serious?
MTB: Just one more chapter folks!
Trunks: Wow... One more chapter...
MTB: BTW, if any of you people would like to use Rick Rickstien in any of your fanfics, be my guest! I think this guy needs more time on the internet! Of course, you might see Rick again in another one of my fanfics!
Goku: RICK RICKSTIEN IS THE MAN!
Piccolo: (backhands Goku) INDEED.