A.N: Sorry for the delay folks. I've been having a hard time lately, so thanks for being patient. I'm working on the last chapter of Memories and also this , plus my first story I've ever attempted, Lost Unity, which after almost a year STILL isn't done, and I've started the sequel to it. I haven't had much inspiration lately. April and I broke up, so yeah. Not too fun.

Oh, I have a couple new songfics on my website. They're on here, too. AFFnet as well. Same pen name.

By the way Gerard, thanks for mentioning that you'd changed your name. I would have been sitting here like 'Dude, why you apologizing?' Blank stares. And for the record, you are goddamn lucky those were email spit balls; I've KILLED for less. LOL, I'm funny.

I LOVE THE BACKSTREET BOYS! I'M NOT ASHAMED! SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT PROUD!

Now that that's out of the way, Mooncheese, I'm going to borrow your sex-ed suggestion for a future chapter - once Harry is out of the body cast. You'll get due credit.

Keep in mind, this chapter is merely a set-up for the next couple.

WARNING: Crappy song is contained within this chapter. As with previous chapters, do NOT download if you are prone to songs sticking in your head.

Behold the Turtle

Chapter VI: A Watched Clock Never Boils

(Dream chapter)

Harry happily studied himself in the mirror. He looked good. DAMN good. He was wearing a shiny pink Elvis-style outfit, complete with pink shoes and headband. It was amazing. It really brought out his eyes, he thought.

"So where you heading out tonight, Harry?" Neville and Ron asked from Seamus' bed.

"Diagon Alley," Harry said. "I gotta get some cash."

"I hear you, bro," said Neville. "Dawgs gots ta do wut dawgs gots ta do, fo sho."

"Fer shizzle, stir fry," Harry and Ron said together. They laughed and giggled and snorted until Ron peed himself. Good times were had.

Harry met Snape in the Main Entrance. Snape would be taking him to Diagon Alley and then heading to his Death Eater meeting. Harry rather liked how Snape looked in his new DE robes. They were tie-died. He looked HOT on closer inspection.

"Hello there, sexy," Snape greeted him.

"Hullo Professor," Harry said seductively. "Are you ready?"

Snape stared glassy-eyed at him for a moment. "Oh, right. Yes. Lets go, Harry," he said distractedly.

Harry giggled happily as he took the professors arm and was escorted out of the school. They walked down the grounds, heading towards Hogsmade. Snape apparated them to Diagon Alley and stared around at all the people. "Be careful, Harry," he cautioned. "The people here are perverts and child molesters. The have no respect for someone as young and sexy as you are."

Harry smiled at him. "That's what I'm hoping for. Now you run along and play nice tonight."

"Okay." With that Snape apparated away.

Let's rock, Harry thought as he set himself up in front of the apothecary. Shoes, lights, coloured paper over the streetlamps. The last thing he set up was a small portable stereo. He smiled as he pressed play.

The machine wirred to life. He got into position, waiting for the right moment.

Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
Tell me what you want, what you really really want …

Harry burst into spazmatic dancing, excellently choreographed in his opinion. After all, he had made it up himself. A rather large crowd gathered round to watch his fantastic dance.

So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me you gotta listen carefully,
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,
We got G like MC who likes it on an
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady, and as for me you'll see,
Slam your body down and wind it all around
Slam your body down and wind it all around …

Harry performed madly for his audience for the better part of 3 hours. People cheered, cried, laughed and … some other fourth thing. By the end of the show Harry was exhausted and Snape had returned to take him back to Hogwarts.

"Harry, love, that was amazing!" Snape said coming over to him.

"And it paid great too!" Harry grinned, still breathing heavily.

"Oh Harry, You are so beautiful! There is something I have been wanting to know for a long time, but I have never girdled up the balls to ask it of you!"

"What is it Severus, my love? Ask me anything!"

Snape knelt down in front of the whole of Diagon Alley and asked, "Will you marry me?"

(Real life almost)

"Hermione? Can we bloody go now?"

"No Ronald! Professor Dumbledore said that he's been acting so oddly because of the Dursley's hitting him with rubber chickens, remember? This could be the hit that turns him back to normal."

"I doubt it. I'm hungry."

"Ronald Weasley, I swear to Merlin I'm about to - AAAHH! "

Harry Potter Sat strait up on the infirmary bed, blankets flying off and startling the shit out of his friends.

"Harry!" Hermione squealed. "Harry! How are you feeling?"

Harry turned towards his friends' eager faces, looking slightly stunned. "Hermione?"

"Yes Harry?" she said, ready to jump and get what ever he needed.

"Ron?"

"I'm here, mate," said Ron, trying not to think about his rumbling stomach.

"I'm pregnant."