Okay readers, finally, here's a flicker of a Hermione/Severus fire. Enjoy. As I said before, stick with it, it gets better!
Chapter 12
The Sunday evening staff meeting at Hogwarts had Hermione Granger as the last subject on the agenda. It had been two weeks since her return from Viktor's funeral, and every staff member had been instructed to keep their eyes on her.
"I think she has progressed through the stages of grief. Shock, anger, sadness and depression. She seems to be depressed at this time. The last stage is acceptance. I have no idea when that time will come. That is up to Miss Granger. Any observations?" Dumbledore asked.
"As her head of house, I have to agree on the depression. She has no enthusiasm in my class, never volunteers answers anymore. She merely takes notes and keeps her eyes on her books. She's buried herself in her work. This is not healthy. I've also been told she takes all her meals, studies, and free time in her dorm as well. I'm worried," McGonagall said.
"Yes, she exhibits the same lack of conviction in my class as well. This kind of apathy from her is unusual," Prof. Snape said.
The other professors agreed. Something needed to be done without looking like they were interfering so as not to further upset her. Her emotions were like a ticking bomb. They agreed on a plan.
"Very well. That's it for this evening. See you at breakfast, good night all," Dumbledore said.
The next morning, Hermione was at her desk in her dorm eating breakfast when the door opened. It was Prof. McGonagall.
"Good morning, Miss Granger. I hope you are doing well this morning?" she asked hopefully.
"Fine, thank you." Hermione replied.
Her face was passive. The reply was about the extent of what she ever said to anyone nowadays.
"Your friends were asking about you at breakfast," McGonagall ventured.
Hermione said nothing for a few moments then asked,
"Is there something you need Professor?" Hermione asked quietly.
"Actually, yes dear. Headmaster Dumbledore has asked me to take on a project for the Order. It's taking up a lot of my spare time and I have received permission to take on help with the first and second year students. It mainly involves grading papers, and I considered asking Miss Rochester, but she's claims she's too 'busy' these days with quidditch," McGonagall said. She noticed the small frown that appeared on Hermione's face.
Rochester? How that girl got to be the top seventh year in her house is beyond me. And Ravenclaw is supposed to be the smart house. Hermione thought
"Professor, would you like me to help with your papers?" Hermione asked.
"Well, yes, if it's not too much trouble. I believe your free period is during my first year class. You can stop by then. I appreciate it Miss Granger. Enjoy your breakfast, good day." the professor left.
Hermione summoned Dobby to take the breakfast tray away and prepared to go to class for the day. NEWT double potions class was first. She arrived first, nodded to Professor Snape then took her seat. The rest of the class came in and Harry sat down next to her in her usual place.
"Morning Hermione," Harry said.
She nodded in return. She got her quill, book and parchment out of her bag. That's all she did. She didn't talk, whisper, or look around. Draco looked over to Harry, who in turn shook his head and shrugged in return. Snape noticed this exchange and had an idea.
Why didn't I think of this before? He began the lecture.
"Class, retrieve your cauldrons, gather the ingredients from the cabinet and follow the instructions on the board behind me for this draught. You have forty-five minutes, begin."
As the class began, Hermione looked to the board. She raised an eyebrow, looked at her notes then leaned to Harry and said softly,
"The instructions are not right. Look at the milkweed," Harry looked at it questioningly.
"Hermione, I don't know, but," Harry replied but was cut off by Prof. Snape.
"Do you two have anything useful you would like to add? Five points from Gryffindor for talking in class without permission."
Snape could see her jaw clenching.
"Professor, this milkweed is wrong. If used in the amount for that temperature you have indicated on the board, the potion will catch fire." Hermione said pointedly.
Idiot Snape! she thought.
"Ahh, another five points for again talking without permission." Snape replied.
Hermione, looking him straight in the eyes said, "Professor, you asked if anyone had anything useful to add. Pointing out a potentially flammable potion is useful I would think." Hermione exclaimed.
Jackass Snape!
Turning to the board, Snape read it for a minute then said,
"Quite right Miss Granger. Five points to Gryffindor. Miss Granger, enlighten us as to the correct amount of milkweed if you would." Snape challenged.
"Reduce the amount written on the board by half." she snarled.
"Correct. Class, please note the correction and continue with your brewing. Miss Granger, I will see you after class." Snape said.
When class was over, Hermione shoved her things in her bag then walked to Prof. Snape's desk.
"Are you busy with quidditch these days Miss Granger?" Snape asked.
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked.
"What I mean, Miss Granger, is that I've been tasked with a project for the Order. It's taking up much of my spare time and not leaving a lot of time for menial duties like grading papers. Since it's been reported that you are no longer participating in quidditch and have practice time free, I am wondering if would assist me in grading some papers for the first and second year students. I've approached Malfoy, but he says he's busy with quidditch. Are you up to it?" Snape challenged. There was a flicker of light in her eyes when hearing the challenge.
"Yes Professor, certainly. I'll see you then."
"You may go Miss Granger." she turned and left.
After lunch (in her room) she went to Prof. McGonagall to start work. The first year class was already seated and reading their textbooks. They all looked admiringly towards the head girl who headed to a seat at a desk to the side of the classroom. McGonagall held up a stack of parchment for her to take. She took the stack and took the seat. While grading the papers, McGonagall started her lecture and demonstration. Hermione finished grading the papers and took notice of a student having a hard time with the transfiguration assignment today, that of changing a beetle into a button.
Ron not long ago! she thought with amusement. Prof. McGonagall's voice woke her from her musing.
"Miss Granger? Could you?" gesturing to the student. Hermione nodded her head and went to the student.
"Ok, what do we have here? First off, your wand technique is a little off. Here, it's like this," Prof. McGonagall smiled as Hermione patiently explained the method for the transfiguration. When the student finally accomplished the lesson, his smile could have lit up a room and he said,
"Thanks Miss Granger. You're awesome."
"I don't know about that, but thanks. Once you get the wand technique correct, this stuff should be no problem. You know, Ron used to have the same-"
Hermione was cut off by Prof. McGonagall.
"OK class, that's enough for today. Miss Granger, may I see you?"
The class left and McGonagall told her "Miss Granger, thanks so much for your help today. You graded those papers quickly. I'm sure Mr. Glasser appreciates your help too. He's having some difficulty in this class."
"I enjoyed being here Professor. Will you be needing me anymore?"
"Yes, if you could be here next week same time. And thanks again, good day." McGonagall said.
The rest of the day passed fairly quietly, the day was over and Hermione was on her way to her room to eat dinner when she was intercepted by Draco.
"Want some company?" he asked.
"Yes, actually. Come this way," she gestured towards her door.
"Well, you sound like you had an okay day?" Draco asked.
She thought for a minute, then said, "Yes, I did. McGonagall needed some help with something earlier and Professor Snape asked me to help later on. He said he asked you but you were too busy," she said casually.
"He did?" Draco asked. "Oh yeah, he did. I have no interest in grading silly first year papers." he lied, biting into a piece of bread. They finished dinner, and Draco caught her up on the latest gossip and quidditch news. She merely nodded her head and chuckled at some of the gossip.
It's a start. Draco thought.
"It's been nice, Draco, but it's time for me to head to the dungeons. Have fun at practice."
Hermione said. He left and she changed her clothes. She caught a couple of sixth years snogging in the corridor and quietly sent them on their way. She was shaking her head as she walked into the potions classroom. Snape was at the desk rubbing his temples.
"Ahh, Miss Granger. I was wondering if you would show. Something amusing?" he asked.
"No professor, nothing that would interest you," she said. "Now sir, where are the papers I'm to grade?" he handed her a stack of parchment.
"I expect you to grade them to my standard. Is that understood?"
"Of course, Professor."
She sat down at her desk to start. While making the usual potions for the infirmary, Snape surreptitiously took note of her. Her hair was down, and she was tucking her hair behind her ears from time to time. After the tenth time, she frowned and put her hair up. Most of it was up in a loose bun, with the exception of a few strands that hung down her neck. She had on a black v-neck tshirt and blue jeans. She frowned again as she marked a paper, shaking her head. He could see her talking silently to herself. Her forehead had a little perspiration and she licked her lips. She removed a kerchief from her bag and patted her head, neck and chest.
"I can adjust the temperature if you would like, Miss Granger."
Her head jerked up in surprise.
Huh?
"Uh, yeah, it is a tad warm in here sir." He said a spell and the room cooled down.
"Thank you sir."
Sometime later, she finished grading the papers quicker than he thought. She brought them to his desk and asked,
"Will that be all sir?"
"How was the grading?" he asked.
"Honestly?" she asked.
"By all means." he replied.
"I now know the reason you think we are dunderheads. These papers were appalling, even for first years. The spelling is atrocious, you can't read some of their writing, and one student apparently does not know the difference between mandrake and wolfsbane," she said rolling her eyes.
"Well yes, it's typical first year work, and sad to say, some seventh year work as well. Can you be here same time next week?" he said.
"Certainly professor.," she gathered her belongings and headed for the door. On the way out, she heard him say "Good evening, Miss Granger."
I don't believe it. Does he get an upgrade from bat to git? she wondered.
It's a start. Snape thought.
It wasn't eight p.m. yet and Hermione had an idea. There should be no one in the music room at this time on a Friday night. She could pound away on the piano in solitude. Walking into the music room, she noted no one else there and sat on the bench. Flipping through the selection, she played some Vivaldi. Not really feeling like playing classical, she hurried back to her room to get some music from there. Snape noticed her walking quickly from her room as he rounded the corridor to get a snack from the kitchens. Curious as to where she was going in such a hurry, he saw she was going to the music room. She sat on the bench, played a few notes, cleared her throat then started. Snape listened and looked through the door as he had done before. He listened as she played and sang:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors, Leading you down into my core,
where I've become so numb…Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become
Hermione was crying and pounding on the keys, Snape was enthralled at the sight.
So much emotion pent up, let it out Hermione. She continued with the song:
Now that I know what I'm without, You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real, Bring me to life-
Wake me up inside, Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark, Bid my blood to run, before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I've become, Frozen inside without your touch
Without your love darling, Only you are the life among the dead-
All this time I can't believe I couldn't see, Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, Got to open my eyes to everything
Without a thought without a voice without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life…
At the conclusion of the song, she jumped up and threw the piano bench aside. Grabbing the book of music, she threw it too. Tears flowing, sobbing silently, she leaned against the wall, rested her forehead on it and hit the wall with her fists. This was acceptance, and she was fighting it. No longer interested in a snack, Snape slowly walked to his room.