Chapter Twelve

I Love You

His actions startled her. This wasn't the Woody she had grown to know and avoid. He seemed more like the Farm Boy that had charmed his way into her heart so many years ago. And if someone hadn't called out to get his attention at that moment, Jordan was sure that he was going to brush her lips with his.

And she couldn't swear she wasn't going to let him.

Then promptly chided herself for falling into old habits. He's told me he wants me out of his life…I can't forget that…I can't let him break my heart again…

Jordan assumed Woody's new attitude towards her would pass…it wouldn't last. That somewhere along the way he'd go back to hating her again. But he didn't…he continued to be gentle with her – to a degree he never had before – even before his shooting.

She tried to shrug it off, especially as she was still working through her mental state after her months with the sisters and John…but as she continued to talk with Dr. Stiles, more and more questions kept coming to her mind about what was going on with Woody while she was with the cult…especially as Woody continued to be gentle…almost loving with her again. She was beginning to wonder about his frame of mind as much as she did her own.

But Jordan kept those thoughts to herself as she continued to get on with her life…thinking and believing that his new attitude towards her would diminish with time. Only it didn't…and as a result her questions continued to grow.

It took a thunderstorm to finally get the answers she had wanted to know.

Jordan had worked through many of her fears that had sprung from her time with John. She knew that while he was out there, somewhere, the chances of him coming back for her were slim. She had learned to go to her car from the morgue without constantly looking over her shoulder, not to jump at the bumps in the night, but a thunderstorm could bring her past reeling back to her in a heartbeat.

She and Woody had been working on a case….a hard one, involving a hit and run. Jordan had performed the autopsy. It had been a long day, spilling over into an even longer night…they were in her office going over the notes when the skies opened, the rain poured, and the thunder boomed.

All at once, in her mind, Jordan was back on the porch of that house after John had beaten her. She jumped in alarm, but hoped Woody didn't notice.

But he did. Walking over to where she stood with her back to the window, he gently rubbed his hands down her arms. "Hey….what's the matter?" he asked. "It's just a thunderstorm."

To him, it was…but not to her. She still remembered being tied up…John raising the belt…instinctively she ducked her head and tried to make a run for the door.

Only to have Woody catch her. "What's wrong, Jordan? It's just a little storm…what's the matter with you?"

"It's…it's the storm…"

His puzzled look plainly told her Woody had no idea where she was coming from. And the next boom of thunder had her shaking in his arms. "Jordan? What is it?"

If he would just hold me a minute…and let me shut this storm out…I'd be okay…I know I would…

As if on cue, his arms tightened around her again, but he still wanted an explanation. He steered her toward the couch in her office and sat her down, with his arms still around her. "What about the storm, Jo?"

Another clap of thunder had her burrowing her head in his neck. "I'm scare of storms…." she whispered.

Gently brushing the hair out of her eyes, but willing to sit with her for however long it took to get her over her fright, he softly asked, "What makes you afraid, Jordan? It's just a little lightning and some noise…"

"I know…it's just….that I tried to escape one night…when I was with the sisters….and to punish me, John tied me up, beat me….and left me out on the porch all night during a really bad thunderstorm…" Jordan shuddered against him again at the terror the memory was bringing back to her.

If possible, Woody held Jordan even more snugly against him, gently rocking her until the storm had passed and she calmed down. "Sh…it's okay…it's okay…Jordan, baby, it's okay…John can't get you here and nothing bad is going to happen…I promise…"

"I know…it's just that the storms….they make me feel like I'm still there…helpless….and there's nothing I can do but wait on you to come and take me away."

Woody wasn't sure how to reply to her last comment, so he just held her and continued to rock her gently until he felt her pull away from him just a little. Taking a deep breath, she looked him in the eyes and asked him the question that had been bothering her for weeks. "Woody…why did you come after me? Not why was I looked for….I know that, I was missing…but Roz had the missing person report on me…why did you come after me?"

There was a dozen different ways he could have answered that question…he was the lead detective on the case of the murdered women….he began following the leads….the morgue staff had clued him in and wanted him to handle finding her….but all of those would only be half-truths, and Woody was sure Jordan had heard enough half-lies and whole-lies to last her the rest of her life. So he told her the truth…"I had to, Jordan. I had to…despite everything between us…I had to come after you because I knew I could find you and I had to make sure you were all right…that you were found before John could harm you any more than he already did."

"Why were you so worried about me? I mean, from what you've said in the past…I didn't think I mattered to you any more."

"Do you know how I would have felt if you were the next victim, Jordan?" Woody asked his voice just a bit sharp around the edges. "Do you know what that would have done to me to answer a homicide call and discover it was you that he had beaten and then cut the heart out of? It would have killed me…" he held her face between his hands and looked deep into her eyes so that there was no way she couldn't know that he wasn't telling the truth. "I realized…while you were gone…what my life would be like without you, Jordan Cavanaugh. Lonely. Depressing. Not worth living. That's what it's like when you lose someone you love…"

Love? At the mention of the word from his lips, she felt warmth in her that she thought she had lost forever…"You … do?" she hesitantly asked.

A slow smile crossed Woody's face as his hands moved from her head to her hair, gently anchoring themselves inher chestnut curls. "Yeah…I do. I love you, Jordan."