Obdurate Heart - I

Well, yes. Here I present to you yet another story I may or may not ever finish. Much of it is done, however, so things are looking good thus far.

Warnings: Yes, it has a slash theme. You know? Homosexual? Man on man? If this bothers you, don't bitch and moan to me about it. Yes, I know I'm going to Hell, and I'm really quite alright with that. What's your excuse?

Setup: So, it's a tad AU. It takes place at the end of Episode I, smack dab in the middle of Qui Gon's battle with Darth Maul. I don't think more really needs to be said in that area, you'll be able to pick up anything else on the way.

"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it."

-Marcus Aurelius

The moment it happened, he knew. He had always been distracted by his own affairs at a given event to worry too directly about his master, but now, he was forced to watch and nothing more. He knew that his master could die, and if so, very many others to follow, though trapped behind this barrier, there was utterly nothing he could do. If he had only been but a moment faster! But a moment's more attentiveness, he would have been fighting at his master's side! Instead he stood gawking at the spar like the foolish boy he had spent a lifetime trying to pretend he was not. He had never felt such dread welling up beneath his chest, and he could make no attempts to push it down the way it was rising.

Qui Gon fought valiantly, a true lion of the Jedi knights in battle. His strength served him well, his calm saunter and grace despite a bit of aged wear employed to its highest level against an opponent who held against him an unfairly virile prowess. Obi Wan didn't fully realize how hard he was biting his lip as he watched a ferocious Darth Maul lunge for his beloved instructor again and again and again. If he had just been a second swifter, a moment more clearheaded, just one moment! His eyes were locked onto Qui Gon in a slow, strangling fret that coursed acid through his veins in tremors that made themselves known as more than ready to join the fight. Two against one, those weren't such terrible odds. He could not let Qui Gon fight this menace alone. Was there not some interval in these force fields, why would they not yield?

Saber met saber at a deadly pace, the mechanical hiss and crack of each countered blow resonating like gunfire through their metal battleground. Qui Gon, strong and collected, Maul, agile and feral. Opposites, both trained to kill one another's like, and there could be but one victor. Neither was intending to escape should there be an opportunity. This was a fight to the death. Obi Wan was teetering on the edge of panic.

The Sith apprentice leapt, dodging Qui Gon's well-aimed slice with ease and vaulting over his head to meet him again with the end of his double blade. The older master was able to block in time, and come back down parrying on his younger opponent. They fought with such intricate perfection that it almost seemed as though they had rehearsed this battle, that they knew each other through and through enough to predict the smallest gesture. Two true masters of their art, and it was nothing short of epic. Had it not been so truly dire, it may have been something to behold with admiration as opposed to terror. Their movements became faster, more violent, more ambitious but without carelessness as they spiraled into the mechanical mindset of war. Blows glanced back and forth, back and forth, and then—as though they had both been waiting for it, an upper hand was seized.

Qui Gon was not quick enough to stop an unexpected slice, which cut across his shoulder, and he was equally not prepared for the foot that was instantly planted to his chest afterwards. Maul raised his sword with a darkening glower, poised to strike the final blow.

"No!" Obi Wan screamed outward. Corruption, disorder, the consumption of the Republic into the gaping maw of Sith conquerors, it could not end this way! Obi Wan saw his world about to end. His master about to be cut down.

The force field let up.

Before Obi Wan had time to realize this, his legs were already charging forward toward the vile serpent about to delve his weapon down into Qui Gon's chest. A Jedi does not feel hate. Hatred coursed through his veins as he took up his saber. A Jedi does not feel anger. He swept it high above his head as rage overcame his senses. A Jedi pursues no path of vengeance. No one would strike his master down. With a battle cry roaring from the depths of his young throat, Obi Wan flew at his enemy and swung with all his might.

Darth Maul had not been expecting the attack. He barely caught young Kenobi's blade with his own in time, the force of it knocking him back a step and snatching his balance. As he jerked to catch his footing, Obi Wan threw another ferocious hit, and while an attempt at simultaneous blocking and keeping himself upright was made, Darth Maul had no success against warding the edge of a saber that pierced deep into his side. He grunted hard, Sith-hardened eyes widening in frozen shock as his weapon deactivated and fell to the ground. Obi Wan was stilled with shock as well where he stood staring into the face of his aggressor, a face that had lost anger and contained only surprise. The pain had not yet reached him. Obi Wan almost unconsciously shut off his lightsaber, watching Maul spasm a bit from the feeling of the searing blade leave his body. His gloved hand fumbled for his wound, and he began to fall back.

Obi Wan watched him numbly, only noting somewhere dimly in the back of his mind that his Sith antagonist was about to stumble into the depths of the melting pit behind him. Dread had abated in his chest only a moment before renewing itself within him. He was horrified at what he had done. He had killed out of anger, out of hatred, out of revenge for prior atrocities committed. He had gone against the Jedi way to slay this beast, and in doing so, as he knew by the common views, he was no better than what he had defeated. Qui Gon would be disappointed…how could he bare that? Qui Gon…

Qui Gon!

Just as Obi Wan was beginning to snap back out of his trance, however, he suddenly felt a thud against the center of his chest. He looked down with a gasp at the black-gloved hand that was now clutching brutally into the fabric of his tunic, and his eyes slowly gazed up to find Maul's own eyes on him with a fury-clouded dizziness. Obi Wan pulled back roughly to try and break the hold, hands grasping instantly at the strong arm that had him and trying desperately to pry it off. Distantly, he could hear Qui Gon groan from behind him.

"Obi Wan…?"

Obi Wan panicked as Maul pulled him closer, close enough now for those horrible teeth to sink into his throat if they wished as he pulled the Jedi apprentice up to his face. He gawked pathetically, stiff from a fear he tried hard to combat as Maul hissed at him. "…maybe you'll see now…" he growled from the core of his damaged stomach.

Obi Wan's eyes widened. Maul wavered and promptly, without warning, fell backwards into the pit, dragging the youngling Padawan with him. Obi Wan yelped loudly as he plunged into the darkness in the clutch of the monster that held him.

"Obi Wan!" he could hear Qui Gon's frightened scream around him as he toppled. He was only aware of a tangle of limbs and the air rushing around his form very quickly—the threat of his life coming to an end did not even have time to don upon him. Suddenly, there was a snap, and a terrible agony through his left arm.

"Obi Wan!" He heard Qui Gon's voice again, more commanding and determined coming from above him. As he looked up, he realized that he had stopped falling altogether. Somehow, he had managed to catch himself by the arm, but the terrible strain and anguish this caused on the limb was far from lost on him. He had caught not only the weight of himself, but also that of a now very much unconscious Maul, who, to Obi Wan's bafflement, he himself was clutching tight with the arm he was not dangling from. His frozen appendage had snatched out at his enemy in panic, and he now could not will it to move.

"Master!" he cried rather pitifully, gritting his teeth in distress when his arm felt as though it were breaking.

"Easy, Padwan, easy, I'll help you." He heard his master's voice full of concern and relief all at once. "I'm going to grab your hand. You're going to try and pull yourself up, do you understand?" Qui Gon's voice seemed much nearer, and Obi Wan tensed when he felt a hand touch the back of his straining wrist.

"Yes Master…" he uttered in pain, clenching his eyes shut.

Qui Gon's hands encircled his upper arm firmly and suddenly he felt a tremendous pull, which spurred in him an immediate urge to shove himself into the process. He scrambled his feet against the wall and found a slight footing, using all he strength to heave his form upward as well as his unwitting passenger. He felt Qui Gon's hands gripping alternately at his shoulders and clothes before powerful arms at last aided him sufficiently in tearing all three away from the depths of certain death and onto the hard metal floor in a sprawl. Obi Wan gasped and panted as he grabbed his throbbing arm, on his knees where he stared at the crumpled form of his stricken adversary lying before him.

"Are you alright, Obi Wan?" Qui Gon's breathless voice reached him as an arm came down around his shoulders.

"Yes…yes Master, I…" he nodded quickly and swallowed, eyes still transfixed onto Maul. He reached his hand out for the dropped lightsaber near him and picked it up, ready to finish the job.

"No." he felt his master's hand close over his, preventing him from unsheathing his weapon. Obi Wan looked to him with vastly curious eyes. "He is defenseless, Padawan, that is not the Jedi way."

"But Master—"

"You know that to be so, Obi Wan."

"But Master…" he continued nonetheless. "…What are we to…do with him?"

Qui Gon made a long pause, gently patting his apprentice's shoulder. "…He is important to us alive. He is our closest hope to uncovering the Sith lord that bid him here."

"So he is our prisoner?" Obi Wan relinquished his hold on the weapon, and slowly helped Qui Gon to his feet as the older of them clutched his shoulder painfully.

"Not if we don't find medical aid for him soon." Qui Gon answered through a wince. "Help me carry him."