Disclaimer: It's all mine, mine I say, mine!
X
The Marauders were all under the cloak, walking towards the Slytherin common room.
"Ok," James started, "Everyone's probably asleep."
"Or they're pretending to be asleep, but really wanking," Sirius replied.
"No, that's just Snivellus," Remus answered back.
"Mercutio," James whispered to the stone wall.
The four boys under the invisibility cloak walked through the wall. A strange sight to see, except for the fact that no one could see them under the cloak. But if they could be seen under the cloak (though they were invisible), it would have been a strange sight to see. Even though they couldn't be seen.
"Good," James whispered as the four made their way into the Slytherin Common Room, "Everyone's asleep."
"Let's get crackin'!" Sirius retorted.
"I hope you meant 'Let's get started', and not 'Let's go snort crack'…" Remus whispered.
Sirius and James snickered and Peter squeaked.
"Alright, since I'm stealthy-" James started, but was cut off by Sirius,
"Stealthy?" He whispered, "You are the lankiest person I know, James Potter!"
"Who do you suggest is the stealthiest, Sirius Black?" James demanded.
"Moi, Prongs-ey, It's obvious!"
In perfect timing, Sirius stumbled over his own feet and fell to the ground, spilling a forgotten bottle of Butterbeer everywhere.
"Riiiiight…" James said.
"I could do it," Remus suggested.
"Ok, let's take a vote." James suggested, "Who votes for Moony?"
James', Sirius' and Remus' hands went up. Peter looked around nervously to make sure they all had agreed on Remus before he chose him over Sirius or James.
"Alright," Remus said, "I'll be back!" He said, in an Arnold Schwarzenegger-like voice.
He tip-toed up the stairs to the Slytherin fifth year's dorm room, dressed head to toe in black, while the other three boys set to work on the other part of their plan.
X
Lily was in the doorway to the prefect bathroom.
"Evans? Is that you?" Snape asked.
"It's the girl of your dreams, Severus," Lily replied.
"Evans? But… but-but… You hate me!"
"Severus, I don't hate you, actually, quite the contrary," Lily replied seductively.
Snape was at a loss for words. His one true love didn't hate him. In fact, she loved him! She chose him over that prat, Potter!
Lily walked over to Snape and leaned in towards him to give him a kiss. The kiss deepened and clothing was shed.
"Lily…" Snape moaned.
X
'What the fuck? Did Snape just moan 'Lily'?' Remus thought to himself. He listened closer.
"Lily…" Snape moaned again.
Remus decided to ignore the fairly annoying, and extremely disturbing moans of Severus Snape. He snuck over next to Lucius Malfoy's bed first.
"Roses cheaveax," Remus whispered, pointing his wand at Malfoy's head. Suddenly, a bright pink color started growing from Malfoy's roots of long, pimp-y blonde hair. Remus snickered to himself.
Next he crept over to Antonin Dolohov's bed.
"Buboboil" He said quietly, as Dolohov's face sprouted disgusting, slimy boils.
Nott was next on the list. "Vertigo" he whispered at him.
Avery was dealt with after Nott. "Poultry" he whispered at Avery.
Remus snuck over to Snape's bed. (He was stealthy, after all!) This was the ultimate prank. "Mortificate".
Remus quietly walked out of the Slytherins' dorm
"Moony! We just finished! Let's go!" Sirius whispered.
The boys put the cloak over their heads and walked through the stone wall, leaving the bright pink and yellow polka dot painted Slytherin dungeons.
X
Lily hadn't slept at all. It was kind of scary. She'd stayed up all night putting the finishing touches on her prank… But now she looked a bit like a caffeine-deprived Frankenstein. In a skirt.
"Miss Lillian, you are looking simply ravishing this morning!" Sirius said to her.
"Black, I'm not interested in you, and my name isn't Lillian. Sod off."
"Oh, a feisty one? I'll keep my eyes on you…"
"Isn't that Potter's job?"
"Ah, yes, young Prongs… He's a good lad, but wouldn't you prefer someone like… Oh, I don't know… Me?" Sirius winked.
"Wanker." Lily bit her thumb.
X
The marauders headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast, stoked to see their Slytherin buddies' new styles.
Sirius was first to spot them. It was rather hard not to. Malfoy stalked in first, with his pimp stick, and bright, neon pink hair, and matching flushed cheeks.
Closely following him were Dolohov and Nott. Dolohov had bulbous pus-filled boils all over his face, arms and legs… And other places… And Nott was crawling on all fours, with a look of terror on his face.
"I'm so… High… Up… Height… The height… Nooooo!" He was ranting to himself.
Behind Dolohov and Nott was Avery; he was acting extremely oddly, and flapping his arms like a chicken.
"BUCKAAAAAH!" He clucked. It was a bit disturbing; however, the most disturbing sight was yet to come…
In strolled Severus Snape. He was wearing a sexy, slinky black robe and had his hair gelled back.
He sauntered over to the Gryffindor table and went straight to the spot where James was seated.
"Hello, Mr. Potter," Snape whispered huskily.
"Err…"
"Err…"
"Err…"
"Err…"
The marauders were at a loss of what to say. Matters weren't helped after what Snape did next…
X
Author's Note: Dun dun dun! What's Snapie gonna do? Reviews please! Omg, please don't be mad at me for slow updates! I've been really busy with exams and basketball tryouts… I hope I make the team… Review!