Bloody Corsets: I'm not too worried about the lyrics, I guess. Thanks for the "Pre HBP" summary tip. I did it. The whole Tonks thing? Just read and see…
draco8448: See, it's reviews like yours that make me smile and want to write!
Lone Wolf55: Thanks for the comment!
Lexy: And another superb review! What a splendid compliment…
Dione Shadow: lol
Sever13: Yeah, thanks. I wonder what people will think of the end…
Disclaimer: Do you really think I'd be writing fanfiction if I owned the Harry Potter characters? In short, I don't own anything.
A/N: I hope that saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" worked with this story! In case anyone cared, I had a great time at camp. Now, after 3 weeks (and then some) of waiting for a chapter, I bet you are just itching to read, eh? Well, have at it!
At the end of last chapter 'cause it's been like forever:
He cut me off by placing a finger over my lips. I looked up at him, and saw that his eyes were filled with tears. I guess he had been pretty close to "Tonks".
I leaned my head into the crook of his neck and he entangled himself with me and cried on my shoulder.
I had of course heard the phrase: "Lend a shoulder to cry on" but never before had actually been the shoulder to which someone was crying on.
I skipped breakfast that day
During what time would have been breakfast, Harry and Draco sat together in a comfortable silence.
Draco still had his arms around Harry when they heard footsteps coming their way.
"Ahh!" Draco said, desperately quiet and broke away from Harry. People were coming back to their dorms to relax during their actually free free-time before classes began. The hallway was in a "T"-shape. Draco and Harry were on the top left part of the intersection, which led to the Gryffindor Common Room and dorms. The people were approaching from the big base of the T-hallway. He could either dash across to the opposite side of the upper T and be seen coming out of where the Gryffindors (Harry especially) were, be seen coming down the large hallway leading to the Great Hall from the same direction, or remain unseen by scrambling into Harry's common room. (A/N: Oh I know, how annoying. I kept repeating the same thing over and over again to get my point across…T, T, T, ahh!)
Draco chose the latter. Harry and he sprinted the rest of the hallway towards the portrait of the Fat Lady, and sprang inside when the portrait opened after Harry hastily whispered the password. Sounded remotely like "Fizzing Whizbee".
They ran up the stairs, Harry in the lead, and Draco barely had time to register the cozy, warm feeling of the Common Room before he was in what was presumably Harry's dorm room.
"Get under. There's enough room!" Harry said impatiently, pointing underneath the bed.
Draco looked at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow, before crawling under the bed.
It was oddly spacious. Above him, Draco could hear the bed creak and feel Harry jump on the bed, possibly pretending to reading a book, or pretending to sleep as a cover for not going to breakfast.
Draco could see people's feet and hear voices casually asking where Harry had been and heard mumbles of "slept late". He heard many people enter, leave, come back in, and the sort of thing that goes along with getting comfortable.
It was sure to be a few minutes until he could come out from his hiding spot, so he looked around. There were a couple boxes, empty suitcases, and that sort of thing. Not very interesting. However, one box stood out.
Its lid was askew and something inside of it shone with the little light there was under the bed. Intrigued, Draco wriggled (there wasn't that much room in there) over to it. He placed his hand inside and pulled out the shiny thing.
In the dim light he saw a shape that looked like a—a knife? He felt its edge and noticed two things.
One, there was something engraved onto one side. It was impossible to tell what it was in the darkness.
Two, there was something dried on it that could be picked and peeled off. Curious, Draco sniffed the blade, thinking how ridiculous this looked, and inhaled something remotely like copper…remotely like…blood.
Draco raised his head slowly, trying to imagine Harry using this on a classmate. No, it wouldn't be possible! He's a bloody Gryffindor!
'Well then why is there dried blood on it? Huh? Huh' Draco thought. 'I don't know…he couldn't…do what I do…I mean, Harry?'
He wasn't sure what to think, but was trying to persuade himself that Harry cutting himself was a laughable idea.
After everyone who was staying in the room was settled, he heard movement above him, and a silk cloak dropped in front of him. It had a note stuck on it that said, "Put it on your whole body—head and all— and come out."
Draco tucked the knife back into its box, and put on the piece of clothing and squirmed out from under the bed. Harry was looking expectantly at where Draco was standing, but didn't seem to notice that he was standing right there.
"Harry?" Draco said, wondering what Harry was up to.
"Oh good, you're there." Harry said, and added, "By the way, you're wearing that invisibility cloak I scared with a few years back."
"You didn't scare me…" Draco muttered indignantly.
"Well, come on. I'm getting you out of here unseen, but I'll want my cloak back so I'm coming with you. 'Kay?" Harry said.
"Sure," the invisible body of Draco Malfoy said.
They got out of the common room without a hitch. Once outside, Harry demanded, "My cloak, please."
Unconsciously wanting to spend more time with Harry, Draco responded, "Hold on a minute! Just wait 'till we get a bit further along so that they don't see me standing right in the middle of the bloody Gryffindor Tower!"
"Fine, fine." Harry replied. They walked in silence, and Draco was trying to remember where he had heard "Tonks" before. He finally remembered his mom saying how much of a disgusting blood traitor she was, while his father lectured him on the importance of pure-bloods being in control. But hey, whoever his parents hated, Draco likes. And don't forget that Harry likes her, too, a part of him said. Sssh… Draco told that part of his mind. They walked on aimlessly for a while, 'till Draco decided he wanted to see Harry's reaction to what he had to say.
"I'm related to Tonks, Harry." Draco said tentatively. He was ashamedly curious as to whether Harry would start crying at her mention.
Instead, he knowingly said, "I know." This was true, because Sirius had shown him the family tree in Grimmauld Place.
"Oh, okay." Draco said, slightly relieved.
"Tonks and ex-Professor Lupin were in love." Harry blurted out. While they were on the subject of Tonks, he was bursting to say something about it.
"Huh?" Draco said idiotically.
"Whenever they were around each other, they positively ogled at each other. I caught them holding hands a lot, and once or twice, when they thought they were alone, I saw them kissing." Harry said.
"Okay…why are you telling me this?"
"I don't know…I'm just thinking about it…and about how Remus—er, Lupin, is going to feel once he hears what happened to her, if he hasn't heard already. He was already feeling tired and depressed and, and just all-around fatigued; you could see it in his eyes. Then, when I saw him when he was with Tonks—he was a different person. He was so happy. His eyes lit up around her; I hope he's okay." Harry said, partially forgetting who it was exactly he was talking to.
"Here's your cloak." Draco said abruptly, ripping off the cloak and shoving it into Harry's arms. He walked off; he could not believe how Harry had just confided in him. It left him with a strange feeling of pride, and he didn't know how to deal with it, so he ventured off to his room to think.
Draco POV
As I walked down the familiar path that led to my room, I regretted being so harsh to Harry. He probably thinks I hate him or something.
I was so confused; why did I care so much about whether Harry hated me or not? Why did even want him NOT to hate me? Why am I even calling him Harry? I contemplated the impossible answers on my way up to safe haven.
I reached my bed, pulled the curtains shut behind me, and locked myself inside.
Drakstile was in her familiar spot inside my tidy drawers. I caressed her sharp edge, and felt that there was only one way to relax myself. Only one way to forget all the questions that invaded my mind, that confused me.
She was like a drug as she tore through my skin and my confusion. I was so addicted.
But…I wanted to stop. Then again I didn't. This boggled my mind more, so I made a new cut to stop my mind from perplexing me further. I watched as the blood running from the fresh cut on my arm traveled over old scars.
All of those scars told a separate tale. They all had their own reason for existing; all of those stories being unpleasant ones. Ones of desperate calls for help; of anger; of confusion.
I put Drakstile away almost reluctantly, and fell asleep watching my arm bleed, not even bothering to unlock myself.
I never knew that in a different tower, someone similar to me was doing the exact same thing.
Harry POV
I lay in bed, thinking over the past few hours.
It started with Draco. We had been been talking about how Remus and Tonks were together—or rather, I had been. Then, suddenly, he shoved my cloak at me and power-walked away…
Immediately I wondered what the hell I had done wrong. Unfortunately, once I was in my room, I was overcome by a wave of depression.
I had pondered long and hard about why Voldemort took Tonks; I wondered how I could have ever been so stupid as to trust Kreacher that night at the Ministry; and my new wonder: Why was I becoming so mysteriously infatuated with Draco Malfoy?
I had brooded over all the things Draco had ever done to me: petty fights, calling one of my best friends a mudblood, laughing at my friends, hexing them and myself, trying to outdo me in Quidditch, trying to get me expelled….The list went on.
But even as I lie here, still thinking about how much Draco Malfoy deserved to rot in hell, I know that I will just forget about how many wrong things he had done to me when I come near him. He just…lights me up, as strange as it sounds.
The only thing that was able to calm me was Askalade, and her rose-engraved blade. Like, if I was I was stranded in the middle of a raging storm on a miserable sea, she was my lifeboat. She made me become unfocused; caused me to forget my troubles. I was indebted to a knife. Okay…
But…I wanted to stop. I wanted to be able to deal with my stress on my own. I wanted to not have to constantly be hiding my arms and be under a charm as another precaution. Even as my lifeboat, it was like at times she was a shark in disguise, slowly killing me from the inside out.
I didn't want to have to have caution. I just wanted to relax, and flail my arms carelessly, not worrying that someone would see my scars.
I almost wanted someone to find out, because then I would feel that I had to quit, to please this person.
But there was no one to tell. My friends…I could never bear to tell them, and I make sure that no one found out.
After abusing myself, I had put Askalade back in her sacred drawer, hoping for some sleep.
But, I thought dismally, here you are, not sleeping, just mulling over unhappy things. Impressive.
The next few weeks were a living nightmare for Harry; he had always worried that now that Ron and Hermione were going out, that if they broke up, it would mean the end of their "inseparable friendship".
Ron and Hermione were having a huge row, and it had started whenever Hermione mentioned Victor Krum while Harry and Ron were talking about Quidditch.
She had said, "Did you see the Bulgarians face off the French on Saturday? I heard about it on the Wizard radio, and did you know that Victor made up a great move, where he—"
At that point, Ron had interrupted her, asking the unforgivable: "Did you ever snog Krum?"
Harry knew what would happen before it did. But since he couldn't stop it…
And, of course, Hermione reacted as Harry knew she would.
"Ron! How can you ask me that? First of all, yes," –Ron's face showed shock and anger—"but secondly, how can you ask me that, when you probably dream at night about snogging Fleur?"
She had gone on about how it infuriated her that he was obsessed with Fleur and whenever he was around her he acted like a total git and forgot about her, his girlfriend.
There was a pause, and Ron was probably about to say something like, "I'm sorry," but then Hermione interrupted again, saying, "You have ME right now, and you know SHE'S not interested in you. But if you keep swooning over her, you're not going to have EITHER ONE OF US!" By the end, she had been yelling at him, and they had had the attention of everyone in the common room.
Ron decided staring at her was a good idea, though Harry knew better.
"AHH!" Hermione shrieked, completely losing her cool, dropping her books and standing up to wag an accusing finger at him.
"You don't even defend yourself against that? That's as good—or bad—as admitting it, you piece of rotten scum!"
Ron stood up too, and had said, "Hey!" but it was to empty air—Hermione had stormed up the girls' stairs, and he couldn't get to her there.
Ron had grumbled and growled as he had picked up his belongings and brought them up to his room. He still had the attention of some of the people in the common room when he came back down, so he mumbled something about going to the kitchens, apparently having lost interest in talking about Quidditch.
Sure enough, things were definitely looking bad for the Trio.
Ron was failing his History of Magic class with Professor Binns without Hermione's notes. Harry was trying to keep the peace and still received notes from Hermione, but deciding that he wouldn't put it past her in this anger to jinx the notes so that if he let Ron copy them he would get a face of pimples reading 'Traitor', he had to ignore Ron's pleading.
Harry had not forgotten about Tonks, and it was probably bothering Dumbledore and McGonagall, whom he kept asking for news about her, to keep telling him that when they had news of her, they would tell him immediately.
Harry had mentioned Tonks' capture to Ron and Hermione, but they were too busy with either lust or anger for each other to care a whole lot.
Draco's days were not going too super either, and his ego was taking a beating every time his father came to visit him.
He knew that every time his father said that he was a disgust to his family and that disowning him was a great idea, he should be happy. But no matter how much he hated his father and vaguely felt satisfaction at his father's bigheaded wrath, he still had the mad desire to please his father.
He felt like a failure more and more every day. Though his Potions grade was still perfect, Draco knew it was only because of his relations to Snape, for he had not successfully filled a flask with the correct potion for weeks.
Unluckily, he was not so close to any of the other teachers, and after not having been able to even transfigure a pack of quills into a bird and received extra homework from Professor McGonagall, he felt like doing something drastic and crazy to make himself feel better.
It was after that very class that he walked into Harry Potter, who was presumably going to ask Professor McGonagall something before heading to the dorms for free time and then lunch.
It was then he had an idea for what to do that was crazy, drastic, and would certainly make him feel better.
"Well, hello Harry…" Draco said in as seductive a voice as he could muster at the moment.
"Oh, that's swell. You're talking to me." Harry said, without a trace of anything close to seductive. Almost coldly.
"Huh? Oh, that!" Draco replied, partly forgetting that he had ditched Harry after Harry had told him all about Lupin and Tonks. "Sorry about that, I just remembered that I had this huge History of Magic essay to do," he lied, not having anything better to say.
Harry eyed him suspiciously, then said, "Professor Binns didn't assign us any homework."
Damn. Stupid Potter remembering everything the stupid teachers do. "Well, I'm a bit behind on my work, so I asked him to let me do an extra essay to boost my marks."
Harry shrugged, though it was severely obvious he did not believe Draco. "What is it?" Harry asked.
"Well, I was going to—" Well, I was going to ask if you would like to accompany me to the Room of Requirement and shag me senseless, but…
But…Pansy Parkinson interrupted. "Drakey! Oh, my god, I was looking all over for you!" 'Seventh floor' she mouthed. Hmm, Draco thought, I'm not the only ones who has plans…
She strode over to him and hooked onto his arm. She raised an eyebrow at Harry, who found it contagious. He raised his eyebrow at Draco, turned on his heel and walked off.
He wanted very much to tell Pansy to shove off, but he was still so aroused by the thought of having Harry, that he conceded to her lusting and followed her up the staircases, past a wall three times, into the room, and onto the bed.
"It's going to be a long day after this…" Draco mumbled, staring at Pansy's sleeping, naked form, which had acted like a leech and attached itself to his chest. "I'll never live it down."
He had hardly been provoked to come by Pansy. He had pretended that he was with Harry half the time. The rest of the time was just plain animal, perverted instinct.
He was mystified. He had long come to accept homosexuality—his especially. But no matter what his body told him, he could not get his mind around the fact that he wanted Harry Potter.
Later that day, the very evil, sensual being that consumed Draco's mind was sitting a few feet away from him, oblivious to the naughty things Draco imagined himself doing to him.
However, Harry had the same sort of thing going on his own mind. He had been thrilled when Draco had approached him that morning. He had been feeling dreadfully troubled by Draco deserting him before, and was more than happy to see him.
His giddiness had not lasted through the free time before lunch as he worked on Potions homework, wondering what sorts of things Pansy was doing to Draco—who he was starting to think of as his own—and the reasons why he should be doing them. That's why, when he saw Draco walking towards the lake by himself, he said goodbye to his friends instantly and rushed outside.
Before he reached the lake, he told himself to slow down, and act cool. What was he so worked up for? Just going out for a stroll in the sun, is all.
He sat pointedly straight across from Draco, who was sitting next to the very boulder that they had once had a conversation by.
He had some questions for Draco, but how could he ask them? They were all about whether he was gay, whether he planned to join Voldemort, etc. But that was like asking him to show Harry his boxers.
Come to think of it, asking Draco to show Harry his boxers sounded a whole lot more fun than asking serious questions.
You know that feeling you get when you know someone is looking at you? Harry looked up to find Draco staring at him, like a mother goose watches over her goslings.
"You got any Beans?" Draco asked. He crawled over to Harry and outstretched his hand, a mischievous smile on his face.
"As random as that question is, yes, I do!" Harry replied, his miserable mood about Pansy vanishing. He reached into the back pocket of his robes, where he was keeping a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans that Ron had snagged from the kitchens.
"It's not random! Remember last time?" Draco said as he watched Harry pour flavored beans into his extended hand.
"I do..." Harry said, smiling fondly at the memory.
"Yup. So, Quidditch this year..." Draco started.
Quidditchhad been a sort of side-show thing this year for Draco and even for Harry, what with the N.E.W.T.S. steadily approaching. However, Harry had begun to regain interest in the sport as the year progressed.
"Yeah, I've been kind of out of it, but I dunno, maybe..." Harry trailed off.
"But anyway, did you see the look on McGonagall's face when Crabbe made that stuffed animal turn into a bird and it took a dump on her head?" Draco said, trying again at conversation.
"Yeah, that was priceless!" Harry shouted in high spirits.
With Harry's positive response, Draco felt comfortable making a friendly chat with him while eating junk food. It was great to have someone to talk to. Though they disagreed on many things, they had just enough in common to get along.
That day, Draco didn't eat lunch that day either.
A/N: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! There's chapter 7. and please, in your reviews, tell me what you want to happen; give me ideas!