Disclaimer – Why do I keep forgetting to do this? Ok, the characters don't belong to me, neither PD movies belong to me, I just play with the story line and create my own little worlds of Clarisse and Joseph romances…
A.N. – I'm working on this as fast as I can! Even though I should be studying for exams! Oh how naughty of me! Do enjoy this chapter!
A.N 2 – Any references to crossroads in this chapter are taken from Michael Phillips' novel "Kings Crossroads". Very awesome novel!
Chapter 6 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering"She was asking for me the whole time! She needed me Joseph, and I wasn't there for her! The last word she spoke was my name and I wasn't there to hear it! What kind of sister am I!"
Clarisse's words were echoing in Joseph's mind, as they had been for the past few hours.
He hadn't slept; his mind was too preoccupied. How could Clarisse blame herself for such a thing? She couldn't help being so ill when her sister was dying! Marie would surely have understood.
Clarisse had to stop blaming herself!
Besides, it had been years since Marie's death so why was Clarisse still so traumatised over it? Why did she react so hysterically tonight? Had she been keeping it all inside for that long without releasing how she felt? Joseph could see her doing that…but for it to still be so raw within her? Surely not.
Somehow, there had to be more to this than Clarisse was letting on…
Clarisse stirred in Joseph's arms and he knew it was time to transfer her to her own bed. They would both regret it in the morning if they stayed cramped up on the couch.
Stroking the side of her face, he called to her softly.
"Clarisse…wake up, dear…"
Suddenly, without warning, Clarisse whipped open her eyes and jumped back from his embrace. She lost balance on the side of the couch, toppling to the floor before Joseph even realised what was happening.
"No!" she exclaimed hoarsely, her voice failing her.
If it weren't for the fear in her eyes, Joseph would have laughed at Clarisse's reaction. But something was terribly wrong here…
Clarisse scrambled back, away from Joseph as he reached out for her, confusion written all over her face.
"Clarisse, darling, what is it?" he soothed, hurt by her reaction.
He thought she would have calmed down after her rest, but she seemed even worse. Even if she was silent. Joseph was growing more confused each moment. An overwhelming sense of apprehension was settling over him.
'What is going on here?' was a thought emerging from his shocked mind.
"No…" she whispered. Her shaky voice was barely audible through her fear.
Instantly, she was on her feet and darting for the main door into the suite. Before she even made a few steps, Joseph was there, holding her back. He had snapped out of his moment of shock.
The last thing he needed right now was to have to chase Clarisse all over the palace. Who knows where she would go and how long it would take to find her?
"Let me go!" Clarisse gasped, struggling vainly in Joseph's firm grip.
"Clarisse, sweetheart, what is it? Why are you afraid of me?" Joseph begged for an explanation for her completely out-of-character behaviour.
Clarisse was trembling uncontrollably by now, whimpering quietly.
All of a sudden, Clarisse just collapsed taking Joseph down with her, landing painfully on the lush carpet.
Joseph tightened his grip, pulling her onto his lap. Why was she reacting in such a way? What did he do to cause her to become so hysterical again?
"Please…not again…I'll do anything…just don't – don't do it to me again…" Clarisse whimpered, tears streaming out from under closed eyelids.
"Do what Clarisse? I don't understand" Joseph tried to console her, begging for understanding at the same time.
Clarisse had ceased struggling against him. She slumped against his chest, her trembling slowly disappearing.
"Don't…" Clarisse sighed so quietly, Joseph almost didn't catch it.
"Don't what, Clar-" Joseph began, but stopped when he realised she had fallen asleep again.
Clutching her as close to him as he could, Joseph pressed his lips to her forehead. She had shaken him more than he cared to admit. Her reaction frightened him so much that he could feel unshed tears prickling behind his eyelids.
"What is going on?" Joseph whispered to no one in particular.
OoOoOoOoOo
Joseph awoke as he felt Clarisse wriggling in his arms.
He had moved them back onto the couch again a few hours previously, after Clarisse appeared to be sleeping deeply once again.
Joseph knew after Clarisse's outburst that he couldn't just put her to bed and leave her. He had to stay with her; she needed him even if Clarisse herself didn't even realise it. If that meant spending the next couple of days with stiff joints from being cramped on the couch, then so be it.
Joseph opened his eyes and looked down on Clarisse. She was snuggled up to him, splayed out on the couch, with her head pressed against his chest.
He could see her eyes slowly flickering open.
Clarisse lifted her head, looking around the room through bleary eyes, before settling her confused gaze upon Joseph.
"How – " she croaked before clearing her throat.
"How did we get in here? What – what happened last night?" Clarisse asked.
Joseph's eyes widened in shock as he realised that she remembered nothing of last night's struggle.
"Shades and I brought you in, remember?" Joseph asked, feeling as confused as she looked.
"No…I – I only remember talking to you out at the fountain and then – then – nothing…" Clarisse finished, clearly shaken by her confused memory.
Joseph then explained what had happened only hours before, including her sudden outburst and fear of him.
"What were you talking about Clarisse?" Joseph asked carefully and gently.
"What were you so upset about?"
Clarisse opened her mouth as if to explain but just closed it again, turning her face away from him. Joseph sat them both up, facing Clarisse on the couch.
"Did someone do something to you Clarisse? Please tell me love, I just want to help. I couldn't bare to see you in so much pain last night, it tore my heart" Joseph rushed, pleading as he took her hands in his.
"Please tell me…it's killing me seeing you in so much pain and not knowing what to do" Joseph finished in a whisper.
"It's nothing" Clarisse whispered back, still avoiding his penetrating gaze.
"Don't lie to me, Clarisse" Joseph said bluntly, cringing at the harshness of his words.
Clarisse looked at him sharply, opening her mouth to retort but Joseph spoke over her.
"Don't you dare tell me that what I witnessed last night was nothing. I know you are hiding something from me and I know it's something big" Joseph was not going to side-step issues with Clarisse any longer.
"I also understand that you are not one to share emotions or show fear but it is me you are talking to here. You can trust me Clarisse. I'm not going to reject you; I'm not going to announce it to the world. I'm just going to help you - " Joseph reached up and wiped the tears from Clarisse's face.
"- Comfort you, and … love you" he finished with a warm smile.
"Joseph…you don't understand…" Clarisse tried to turn away but Joseph's strong hand turned her back to him.
"Then help me to understand. Explain it for me" he murmured, pleading.
Clarisse sat there, an internal battle clearly visible through her shimmering eyes.
They sat like that for more than ten minutes, Clarisse fighting for an inner solution to what she was facing but clearly getting nowhere with it. Joseph was rubbing small circles on her hands with his thumbs, an ever-present presence.
Looking into her fearful features, Joseph cleared his throat before speaking.
"Crossroads come when everything hangs in the balance.
"The past climaxes to a single moment. The future stretches ahead undetermined. Between the two sits only the now. The direction the future will take depends on our choices as we stand in that eternal moment of present decision. " Joseph paused, looking into Clarisse's eyes as she stared at him.
"Every now contains infinite potential for hope, for new direction, for a fresh start…and for change.
"Clarisse, do not be afraid to share things with me. Do not be fearful of how I will react; what right do I have to be judgmental?
"My life has not contained perfect, tidy resolutions to every situation I have faced. Most real situations don't. Clarisse, we do not live in a fairy tale, we live in life.
"Talk to me, share your troubles with me. I am here to listen; I am here to help. So please let me" Joseph lifted his other hand to her face so it was cupped between his hands.
"Tell me what is weighing so heavy on your heart."
Clarisse's eyes had filled with tears again at his words but Joseph could tell that she had resolved her internal battle.
"All right Joseph. I am ready to talk" Clarisse whispered, steadily holding his gaze.
Joseph lowered his hands, giving her space as she collected her thoughts.
A.N – oh that was a cruel place to end it wasn't it? But if I'd continued that chapter would have gone on forever! I'm trying to get as much as I can written, but with exams quickly approaching it's hard to find time. So bear with me please! Do review, as you've all been so helpful! Annette-Rose :)