A.N. – First of all, note to oneself: never make promises you can't keep. I'm sorry for promising to update within 4 days when it's already been about 6 days. It was a premature decision that I wish I hadn't made. Been too much to do with exams and all. So I truly and deeply apologise for not keeping my promise and you have every right to tell me off for it.

You know what to do for the disclaimer…(hint for those who don't: look at previous chapter).

Chapter 8 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering

Joseph began to waken Clarisse as he saw the time of day and realised it wouldn't be much longer till they would be interrupted again by Clarisse's 'duties'. They needed to finish this talk, even if Joseph knew it was cruel to wake Clarisse and make her tell the rest of the dark tale.

Clarisse's eyes fluttered open, and Joseph apologised for waking her but also explained why he had. They needed to get this over with.

It was time to completely open the wound.

Clarisse breathed deeply, exhaling loudly as she sat up once again.

Joseph could see how the past few hours had taken their toll upon his Queen. Her eyes were red and puffy and her features clearly showed her exhaustion from the sadness weighing upon her heart.

Guilt from waking her swept over Joseph but he knew it was for the best. They had to discuss what had happened after Clarisse realised she was pregnant, what had happened after the child's birth. Did King Rupert, may he rest in peace, ever find out?

"Joseph?" Clarisse's voice broke through his thoughts, drawing him back to the present.

"What do you want to know?" she asked wearily.

"I want to know the rest of the story Clarisse, you need to tell me what happened to your child" Joseph said quietly.

"Why?" Clarisse groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"You need to talk about this Clarisse. You need to get it out of your system, to release this secret you have kept hidden from all those around you for so long" Joseph said, stroking her hair comfortingly, willing her to understand.

Clarisse remained silent for some time so Joseph decided to help her get started again.

"Did King Rupert ever find out? Did you tell him after you had the child? Did the child survive?" Joseph almost had to physically shut his own mouth to stop all the questions tumbling out.

Clarisse barely noticed him bursting with questions as she raised her head to look him in the eyes.

"No, Rupert never did find out. Well…as far as I know. Nobody except the doctor and I ever knew I gave birth to a little girl that night. You are now the only other person who I have told" Clarisse told him softly.

"But, I have no idea if the child survived or not. I was too upset to even acknowledge I had a baby when she was born, and the doctor carried out his orders of taking the child away. As far as I know she was left safely in the hospital for the other doctors and nurses to take care of. It was the best thing to do, I couldn't take her to the palace so I couldn't keep her and the doctor couldn't take her. Adopting out wasn't an option because that meant filling out forms which would identify me as her mother. I don't think of it as abandoning her, rather leaving her in safe and loving arms" Clarisse was rambling, trying to justify her actions.

"Clarisse" Joseph spoke over her; "it's ok. You don't have to justify your actions to me, I understand why you did what you did."

"You do? You don't think it was horrible to just leave her there with no identity and no family?" Clarisse asked worriedly, clearly distressed and upset with her actions all that time ago.

"No. It must have been awful to do and it is upsetting that she was left with nothing" here Clarisse choked back a sob, "but there was nothing else to be done. Like you said, you couldn't take her to the palace and if you wanted to keep your secret, you couldn't do anything else but what you did.

"It's ok Clarisse. You did the best thing you could for your child" Joseph finished, holding Clarisse tightly to him as he rocked her back and forth. She was silently weeping, tears coursing down her cheeks from the pain of her past.

Joseph held her for some time, letting her release her pain before he continued with the questioning. She obviously didn't really know what had happened to her child, or even where she was on this day.

"Clarisse?" Joseph asked after she had ceased crying.

She sat up, moving out of his arms slightly so she could make eye contact with him. She nodded for him to continue.

"Is it possible that you have a slight idea of who your baby girl is?" Joseph knew he was asking a lot of Clarisse in these few hours they had been talking, but he also knew it was better to get it all over with immediately so they could put her life back together before moving on.

Clarisse averted her gaze at this question, more suffering showing on her beautiful face.

"Clarisse, is it possible that Charlotte is your daughter?" Joseph asked softly, waiting in silence for a reaction from Clarisse.

Instead of bursting into tears, and denying it (as Joseph had almost expected), Clarisse looked up into his eyes with her own clear blue ones shining with more tears.

"I think it is possible, Joseph. Both our stories match up, the birth dates are the same, and even the hospital where Dr Fitzgerald left her is the same."

Clarisse was clearly distressed by this but she didn't dissolve into tears. Rather, she leant back against the couch, stared at the floor, and sighed deeply before closing her eyes.

"What am I going to tell her Joseph? She is searching for her birth parents, determined to find them. How am I going to explain to her that I am her mother? What will she do when she finds out how she was created? How would any person react to being a result of such a sin?" Clarisse was whispering with her eyes shut, begging Joseph to resolve the situation for her.

"Maybe some things are meant to be left a secret" Joseph offered quietly.

Clarisse opened her eyes and looked at him, brow creased slightly in her confusion.

"Do you mean that I don't tell her anything?" Clarisse asked.

Joseph merely nodded.

"But she will continue looking. Won't she be a little surprised if I just give up just like that? I never give up on anything I set my mind to; you know that. And I promised that I would help her find her parents in every way possible."

Joseph shrugged.

"Then continue to 'help' her search but don't let her find out the truth. If no one knows that you gave birth that night, and the doctor hasn't got it on record or told anyone himself, then how can she know? She will soon find herself at a dead end and give up" Joseph explained, willing Clarisse to see what he meant.

"I suppose…but…I feel so awful deceiving her like that!" Clarisse exclaimed.

"Would you rather she found out the truth?" Joseph asked carefully.

"No! But…there must be a better way! Can't we just keep her busy with palace work and other activities so she is distracted and doesn't continue her work?" Clarisse asked hopefully, grabbing Joseph's hand.

"We are both talking about the same Charlotte, are we not?" Joseph asked, touched that Clarisse was so unwilling to deceive Charlotte like he had suggested.

"Yes I suppose you're right. Charlotte wouldn't be detoured that easily…" Clarisse murmured, smiling slightly.

Joseph shared her smile, thinking how similar Charlotte was to Clarisse when it came to doing things thoroughly and often overworking. How similar the two were in both outward appearance and behaviour or personalities.

"So what will you do, my dear?" Joseph finally asked, breaking the silence.

"I will help her continue her search but I won't tell her what I know. I will not reveal the identity of her mother to her and especially not how she came to be in this world" Clarisse said with some difficult finality.

Clarisse fell forward into Joseph's arms and was just getting comfortable when the phone beside the couch began to ring.

"I knew that was coming" Clarisse mumbled into Joseph's chest, making no indication of answering it.

"Would you like me to get it?" Joseph asked, reaching for the phone.

Clarisse nodded.

Lifting the phone off the hook, Joseph was about to put it up to his ear when Clarisse sat up and promptly took it off him, answering it herself.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice feigning strength and command.

Joseph sat and listened to his Clarisse's end of the discussion. It appeared to be someone asking after Her Majesty and whether she would be continuing her duties this morning. Clarisse seemed to be telling the person that yes she was going to be out within the hour to continue with her duties and appointments.

Joseph was again taken by how strong this woman before him could be. After going through such emotional turmoil all night and getting practically no sleep, she was ready and determined to get back out there. Where did she find the strength to do it?

Clarisse hung up the phone and stood up before facing Joseph again.

"Looks like we're back into it" Joseph commented, rising from the couch also.

"Yes" Clarisse stated before stepping into Joseph's embrace once more.

"Thank you for being here for me Joseph. Thank you for staying with me all last night and making me 'spill the beans'. You were right; I did need to share my secret with someone, especially a loved one" Clarisse murmured, her face buried in his chest.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Clarisse" Joseph kissed the top of her head.

Clarisse stepped out of his embrace, checked her watch and then both mentally and physically composed herself before making eye contact with him.

"I am going to shower and clean myself up before I head out, so I suggest you head back to your quarters to do likewise before going on duty" Clarisse instructed Joseph.

"Yes, of course" Joseph replied, smiling at the fact that she still managed to give orders on such a small issue.

"Will you be alright?" he asked carefully, not wanting to cause her any more trouble.

"I have survived this long Joseph, I'm sure I can continue to do likewise" Clarisse stated, smiling at his obvious concern.

"But thank you. I will see you after breakfast in my office."

Joseph nodded, moving off to the door to carry out his subtle orders. Before he opened the door Clarisse was calling to him.

"Joseph?"

He turned to face her again, seeing her smiling softly at him.

"I really do appreciate what you did for me last night. I will never forget it" she said, keeping eye contact from across the room.

"Anytime Clarisse. It was the least I could do and I wanted to help" Joseph said earnestly.

They both nodded their thanks to each other before Joseph turned once more and left the suite.

As he walked down the corridor, he exhaled deeply. She was going to be all right. She trusted him now and could rely on him for comfort and support. She would continue to share her concerns and worries with him, no matter how big.

With this in mind, Joseph strode down to his room to start the day.

A.N. – what do you think? Should Charlotte find out or not? I will continue the story to how the majority of you want it to go. Ok? So please all review and let me know how you think it should go. I already have some half-formed thoughts…

Annette-Rose.