Chapter Eight

"Honey, I'm home!" Cameron's greeting jolted Nicole upright on the sofa causing the papers in her lap to tumble out of the file onto the floor at her feet. Muttering to herself, the woman groggily bent over and began to pick up the report and sort the papers into the correct order as her boyfriend entered the living room of his apartment. "Did you fall asleep again?" he asked, a grin finding it's way onto his cheeks.

She nodded and moved her hair out of her face as she turned to smile blearily at her boyfriend. "I told you I haven't been sleeping well lately," she replied, closing the folder, having finally assembled the papers in the correct order. "Sorry."

"No, it's perfectly understandable, considering. Don't apologize. How far did you get?"

"Far enough," she replied, watching as Cameron set the grocery bags down on the counter and began to unpack the food inside. "These Ori seem to be unlike any species I've ever heard of. But you know how horrible I am with history. SG1 was the only piece of history class I was ever remotely interested in. Science and engineering were more of my idea of fun."

Cameron nodded as he finished the last of his unpacking. Coming to join her, he picked up another file and handed it to his girlfriend. "Ready for another?"

Shaking her head, she replied lightly, "No, not yet. Maybe tomorrow?"

Smiling sadly, he nodded and pulled her into his arms. "That's okay. You deserve a break anyway. Thanks for helping me out with this."

"I don't feel as if I'm helping all that much, but at least it gives me something to do. Did I tell you Dr. Lam doesn't want me coming into work for at least another week? She wants to make sure the hallucinations don't return."

"Only about a hundred times."

She smiled a little and dropped her gaze. "Sorry."

"No, that's okay. I understand you want to be kept busy. Hopefully this project is helping with that."

Shrugging, she turned to pick up the glass of water next to her and took a sip before changing the subject. "By the way, who's this Vala woman I keep reading about? I remember reading that she and Daniel were connected by some bracelets she tricked him into wearing, but it's pretty vague from that point on."

Cameron laughed a little and shook his head, his eyes holding a far off look as he replied, "Ah, yes, Vala. She was a strange one. Had a very weird obsession with Daniel, that's for sure. But I guess I shouldn't complain. If she hadn't slapped that bracelet on his wrist, he'd be in the Pegasus Galaxy by now."

"Pegasus Galaxy? You mean he'd be in Atlantis?"

"Yeah. You know he always wanted to go, right? Vala made sure that didn't happen."

Nicole nodded. "Well, Daniel's fascination with Atlantis began after we broke up, but Sam did mention some stake-out they had at his place one time when Osiris was somehow getting into his dreams looking for the lost city. Then there was the time Jack got himself frozen . . . but I don't know much about Atlantis because I wasn't really around while all of that was going on. I stayed away for a reason." She shot him a significant look, one which he took to mean she wanted him to drop the subject.

Clearing his throat, he replied, "Well, anyway, Vala stayed in the SGC for over a month, until she risked her life to stop the Ori's gigantic Stargate from forming."

"Yeah, I read about that. Does anyone know what happened to her?"

Cameron shook his head no. "Not for sure. Sam thinks Vala ended up in Ori space, though."

"Which means she could be dead for all we know."

"True."

Nicole sighed and leaned against her boyfriend. "Too bad. I'm sure Daniel misses her."

Cameron shot her a confused expression. "Misses her? He couldn't stand her. You should have seen the two of them go at it at times."

"Go at it?"

"As in fighting, not anything else. I know she wanted to hop into bed with him, but he wasn't even remotely interested in her in that way. But I think by the time she left he was used to having her around. He probably misses her presence just because he got used to it."

Nicole shrugged and began to pull away from her boyfriend. Standing, she picked up the last folder Cameron had handed her and looked down at him. "Do you mind if I take this with me?" she asked, waving the file before him.

He shook his head. "Where are you going?"

"Home. I think I need some sleep."

"You're going to walk?"

"No, I'm going to get in my imaginary car and drive there."

Smiling, he took her hand and shook his head again. "I'm sure you would, but I think a real car would be better. Can I offer you a ride?"

"I would prefer to walk. It's a lovely day."

"And I would prefer that you not be exposed with that folder you're carrying." Rolling her eyes, Nicole nodded glumly and consented to the ride. Cameron smiled as he stood to follow her. "You know you could just sleep here. You didn't have a problem with it while I was out."

Shaking her head, she turned and replied without a smile, "You know very well I don't want to make a habit of sleeping here. That leads to spending the night, something I don't want to do."

"See, that I don't understand. You lived with Daniel the last time you were human. Why won't you even spend the night with me?"

Sighing, Nicole stepped into her boyfriend's arms and curved her face upward to look into his eyes. "Cameron, you know I love you. But I was raised to believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong and doesn't lead to lasting relationships. The one experience I have in dating kind of proves that point. I made a mistake before, but I don't want to make it again. It doesn't mean I love you any less than I did Daniel."

He gazed down at her and tucked her hair behind her ears affectionately. Sighing softly, he nodded and answered softly, "I know, it's just hard for me to grasp that concept of sex before marriage being wrong. Even though my grandmother was a Christian, I was not raised with her exact standard of morals. My parents had different ideas of what was right and wrong."

"I know it's hard. It's no picnic for me, either, Cameron. But I'm trying to do what I think is right for a change." Moving away, she slipped her hand into hers and tugged. "Now can we go?"

Cameron's SUV rolled to a stop in front of Sam's house. The driver placed the car into park and turned off the engine, signifying to the woman next to him that he wanted to talk before she left. She waited for a moment before he asked quietly, "Did you have the dream again?"

She nodded. "But I don't want to talk about it."

He smiled sadly and retuned the gesture. "All right. But if you decide you want to, I'm here, okay?"

"Okay."

As Nicole entered the house with her eyes focused on the floor beneath her feet, she dropped her purse by the door and pulled off her coat slowly, hanging it in the closet by the door. Running a hand through her unruly hair, Nicole moved to the kitchen hoping she might find some calming tea to drink before she headed upstairs to collapse into the bed.

When she walked into the kitchen, she discovered that she wasn't as alone as she had thought. Though her back was toward Nicole, the blonde woman was aware of the red head's arrival. "Sam? Where's your car? I didn't see it out there."

"Jack borrowed it to run some errands." Sam replied softly before she turned and placed a cup of steaming tea on the island between them. "Want some?" she asked quietly, her tone of voice telling her tenant to take a seat.

Nicole nodded and sat down on one of the stools beside the island, folding her hands on the countertop. "Please," she whispered simply.

Sam pushed the mug toward Nicole and then moved to make herself a cup. After a few minutes of silence, the blonde finally said in a tone of certainty, "You've been avoiding me."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" Sam turned with the mug in her hands, her expression one of disbelief, but not anger as Nicole had been expecting. "You live in my house. The chances of us missing each other every day for a week are slim to none. I know you're trying to avoid me but what I can't figure out is why."

Green eyes remained glued to the clear brown liquid in the mug on the counter. After considering what Sam had said, Nicole finally responded with a shrug. "I feel badly for what I did."

"For shooting me."

"Yeah."

"Why? It wasn't your fault."

"No one pulled the trigger for me."

Sam shook her head and placed her cup on the countertop in between them. "You even said you were sorry before you did it, Nicole. That tells me you didn't want to."

"But I could have chosen not to."

"With Cameron telling you to? Not likely. You trust him."

Shrugging again, Nicole picked up her mug and took a sip of the hot liquid. She focused on trying to enjoy it rather than the topic at hand. For a few minutes her tactic worked, but finally she caved under the intense gaze coming from the blue eyes directly opposite her position. Sighing, she said slowly, "So I've been having this dream lately, making it impossible for me to get much sleep. Cameron's been bugging me to tell him what's wrong, so I told him a little bit about it. It starts out like last week in your office. I shoot you with the zat, only in my dream I actually kill you. But when I look down at your body, it isn't you. It's my mother. So it's a double whammy, you know? Like I killed both you and my mom."

Sam shook her head sadly and reached across the island to cover Nicole's hands with her own. "But you didn't kill either of us. I'm still here, and I'm sure you had nothing you do with your mother's death."

"She was sick. Did you know that?"

"Your mother?" Sam asked, withdrawing her hands and leaning against the island, waiting for Nicole to respond.

Nicole nodded. "In the 24th century, having cancer should be no big deal. They have a cure for it. But when you're stuck out in deep space, five years from the closest starbase, even at maximum warp, if you find out you have cancer, you're pretty much a goner. She tried to heal it herself with the limited amount of medical knowledge she had – and it backfired, killing her more quickly. If I could have just gotten her to the starbase sooner, then she wouldn't have had to try to cure herself."

"How could you have gotten her to the starbase any faster?"

"I'm an engineer. It's my job to make the engines faster."

"How old were you, Nicole?"

"Thirteen, but that's no excuse. My father asked me to make the engines faster, and I couldn't." Tears began to slip silently from the red head's green eyes. "Damn science vessel couldn't go faster than warp five."

"That's not your fault."

Drawing in a deep breath, Nicole pushed herself away from the island counter and hopped off the stool. Dabbing at her eyes and wiping away the tears, the red haired woman took a few deep breaths and whispered softly, "Thanks for trying, Sam. I'll see you later." Without another word, she picked up her tea from the counter and left the room headed for the stairs.

"Do you want to double this weekend?" Sam called after her, causing Nicole to smile briefly, touched that her friend was reaching out to her.

"Sure. Cameron told me about that steak place O'Mally's. It sounds really good. How about we go there?"

She heard a chuckle from the kitchen, then Sam appeared in the hallway, looking up at Nicole on the stairs. "Jack and I were told never to go back to that place. They probably still have our pictures up in there, telling their employees not to let us in."

"Why?" Nicole asked, intrigued by the news.

"Remember those Tok'ra armbands I told you about?"

Nicole nodded, understanding beginning to flood her features. "You went there and got in a bar fight, didn't you?"

Sam shrugged, fighting a smile. "These guys we were playing pool with called Daniel a geek. We just couldn't let that go."

"Alien influence," Nicole whispered as she stifled a yawn. "Okay, well, we'll figure out where to go after my nap."

"Sounds good."

Just as Nicole finished buttoning the last button on her shirt, Dr. Lam came back into the infirmary, pushing the curtain aside a little so she could enter the small room she had created for Nicole's privacy. The patient turned around and leaned against the bed as she asked her doctor, "So if the MRI comes back clean, can I go back to work this afternoon?"

Dr. Lam smiled and shook her head gently, her arms wrapping around the clipboard she was carrying, pinning it to her chest. "You're as bad as I've heard Colonel Carter is," she remarked with an unbelieving expression glued to her face. "Tell you what – if the MRI shows you aren't in contact with the aliens anymore, you can go back to work tomorrow. How's that?"

"It's okay, I guess, but what am I supposed to do until then?"

"Take it easy. Relax. Read a book, watch some television – go home. Just don't hang around here."

Nicole sighed, pushing off from the edge of the bed and wrenching the curtain aside. "I've already read at least ten books since you put me on sick leave, not to mention the reports Cameron's been feeding me. And television isn't as exciting as a holodeck . . . when are you people going to invent that anyway?"

General Hank Landry stood in the back of the control room, his eyes fixed on a certain woman with curly red hair who was sitting off to one side and watching as teams went in and out of the Stargate. When Lt. Simmons decided to brush by the general, the senior officer grabbed the smaller man's arm and asked quickly, "How long has she been sitting there?"

"At least two hours, sir," was the soft response.

Landry nodded and replied, "Get me Colonel Mitchell."

Cameron arrived about fifteen minutes later and was ushered into the general's office. After many rounds of "yes,sir" he was finally released from his commanding officer's presence. Shaking his head, he drew in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he watched his unmoving girlfriend from afar. He moved to stand behind her chair and waited until she noticed him.

It didn't take very long. Without turning, she greeted him simply. "Hi, Cameron."

"Nicole," he answered, wetting his lips and crossing his arms over his chest before continuing, "What are you doing here?"

"They want me to leave, don't they?"

"Well, you are kind of distracting."

She shook her head. "No, they're all afraid I'm going to start shooting them at any moment."

"That's not true. General Landry just doesn't like extra people in the control room unless they're working. Besides, I hear you've been here a while."

Shrugging, she replied, "I guess so. Haven't really kept track of time. Dr. Lam told me to take it easy."

"She also told you to go home."

Finally turning, Nicole flashed him a grin and stood up next to him. "Touché," she whispered in his ear and left the room quickly.

Following, he asked from a few feet behind her, "You didn't answer my question."

"And what question would that be?"

He smiled, thinking back to the first day they had met when she had answered in the exact same way when he had informed her she had ignored his question. Falling into step with her, he replied, "What were you doing in there?"

"Watching people go through the Stargate."

"But why?"

She shrugged again. "I just find it fascinating, that's all."

"Have you ever been through it?" She shook her head. Cameron's eyebrows raised in disbelief. "Really? I could probably convince the general to let us go somewhere fast, just so you can experience it. SG1 isn't scheduled for any missions today, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"That's okay, I'd rather not," she answered hastily, her pace increasing, causing him to have to hustle to keep up with her.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to, can't we just leave it at that?"

"No, we can't just leave it at that. Most people would kill for this chance. Why aren't you even the least bit interested?"

She spun to face him, which made him stumble back a few feet in surprise. The color of her face was quickly changing to match her hair, embarrassment evidently flooding through her. "Because I'm afraid, okay?"

"What?" Cameron asked incredulously. "I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

"Well, I am."

"How, with all your engineering knowledge and future experiences can you be afraid of something that is probably very common in your world?"

She shook her head vehemently. "It's not common – it doesn't even exist where I come from."

"What? Why haven't you mentioned that before?"

"Because I do care about the timeline, even if by being here I'm still changing it. I just know that there are things I can't tell anyone about the future. Some things are meant to be surprises."

"But then how does everyone get around from planet to planet if not by Stargate?"

"The old fashioned way – starships. You know, like the Prometheus and the Daedelous. And we transport from ship to ship or down to planets. It's kind of like the Asgard's beaming technology, only humans created their own."

"Let me get this straight. You're okay with transporting but not with going through the Stargate?"

Nicole turned to continue walking, but replied, "I'm not okay with transporting. I'm afraid of that, too. Luckily, life as a Q didn't require transporting."

"But it required flashing."

She waved his explanation away, almost hitting him as he hurried to catch up with her. "Completely different. As Qs, we exist as pure energy. There are no molecules to rearrange once the process of flashing is done."

"We've never lost anyone in the Stargate."

"I beg to differ. Teal'c got stuck in there once."

Cameron sighed. "I'm not going to convince you it's safe, am I?"

"Nope."