A.N. – Wow! What a reaction that chapter got from all my reviewers! Thanks everyone, they were all very touching and very special. To the reviewer that suggested Joseph might be Charlotte's father: I suggest you go and read over this story again because Clarisse got pregnant from a rape. I don't think Joseph would do something like that…do you?

Here is the next instalment. Enjoy!

Chapter 13 – A Night of Torture, A Lifetime of Suffering

Charlotte seemed to come to herself when she found she was standing before a large pond. She seemed to have walked around the palace a few times because she had passed this lake at least twice already.

It must have been the repetition of the scenery around her that drew her out of her dark reverie.

So it was true. Queen Clarisse hadn't exactly verbally confirmed it but it was still confirmed that Clarisse was Charlotte's birth mother.

She couldn't believe it. How could this have happened? How could Clarisse have kept this from her for so long? Did Joseph know? He didn't seem overly shocked when Charlotte had confronted them.

Charlotte hung her head and sat down upon a large rock before her. She slipped off her shoes and dangled them into the cool water. A fresh, calm sensation travelled up her body and calmed her tumultuous thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly, lifting her head and letting the evening sun envelop her features.

Instantly she felt her entire body relax.

Her mind began to reflect on her interaction with Queen Clarisse.

An overwhelming sense of guilt covered Charlotte as she remembered how Clarisse had reacted to her harsh words. Charlotte hadn't even given Clarisse the decency of fully explaining herself. How could Charlotte completely understand what had happened that night? She just immediately assumed that Clarisse had not wanted her and so had abandoned her. Why didn't she stop and assess the situation more? She was usually so good with interpreting information…why oh why did she let her emotions take over?

So what did really happen that night? And why did Clarisse keep her child a secret? Even from her own husband? Why did she give her up?

"Hold on!" Charlotte exclaimed to no one in particular.

'Who is my father?' Charlotte thought suddenly.

If it was King Rupert, may he rest in peace, then why did Clarisse keep everything secret? Surely the crown would be pleased to have another child, especially a young princess.

"PRINCESS?" Charlotte shouted.

No way could she be a Princess, she didn't want to be. But if Rupert wasn't her father…who was?

Charlotte's eyes widened.

Surely Queen Clarisse didn't have an affair…it would be so out of character for her to do something like that. And besides, she never did anything for herself so that must be ruled out.

But then…what else could have happened?

Charlotte raised her feet out of the water and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her head upon her knees. This was all too much for her to take…

"Charlotte?" a soft voice asked, immediately behind her.

Charlotte turned, surprised to find Her Majesty standing behind her.

She couldn't speak for fear of losing it that she just nodded her head in acknowledgement, placing her head down upon her knees again.

She felt Clarisse move around her and sit close beside her upon the rock also. Charlotte didn't raise her head. She was too ashamed of the way she had treated the woman beside her.

"Charlotte…we need to talk" Clarisse spoke softly, gently.

"You need to understand what happened not only that night but the months before leading up to it.

"I know you feel I have betrayed you by not telling you what I knew sooner. But…I really didn't know what else to do. I need you to understand that I was doing it for both our sakes. It has been kept secret for so long that I couldn't allow it to get out just because of a small possibility, please understand that Charlotte" Clarisse was still speaking softly, but Charlotte could tell she was struggling with her emotions.

Charlotte raised her head and looked into Clarisse's tired eyes. They weren't full of joy and sparkling with humour, as they usually were, a fact that made Charlotte feel even guiltier.

"But why have you been keeping it a secret? Why did you leave me in the first place?" Charlotte whispered.

Clarisse's eyes filled with tears but Charlotte keep a steady gaze.

"I was afraid" Clarisse almost choked out.

"Afraid of what?" Charlotte asked confused; she had never known this woman to be afraid of anything.

"Afraid of not loving you. Afraid of what people would think when they found out. Afraid of only seeing you as the memory of when you were created" Clarisse's tears were pouring in earnest now, without shame.

"That fear is what compelled me to leave you so you could be loved by someone else. That decision almost killed me."

"How?" Charlotte asked, afraid of what all the answers would tell her.

"Have you ever carried a child inside you for months? Have you felt that child grow, develop and move within you?" Clarisse asked, Charlotte shook her head.

"I carried you for 9 months, Charlotte, enough time for me to become as attached to you as any other of my children. To have to give you up, my only baby girl was enough to break any woman.

"As Pierre told you, I was depressed for months. The entire country put it down to the death of my sister but I knew the truth. It was mostly the loss of my child that was weighing upon my heart so strongly. By then it was too late to do anything else" Clarisse's gaze was unfocussed, looking into the past.

"But…why not just keep me? Why did you fear that you wouldn't love me? And why didn't you tell King Rupert? Surely he had a right to know…" Charlotte's mind was overflowing with unanswered questions.

"Rupert wasn't your father, Charlotte" Clarisse stated, looking sadder than she ever had.

"I wish he was. With all my being I wish he was because none of this would have happened."

"Then…how?" Charlotte asked uncertainly.

"And what do you mean when you say 'fear of only seeing me as the memory of when I was created?" Charlotte frowned with confusion, holding Clarisse's gaze.

An immense pain shone out from Clarisse's eyes, such that Charlotte felt her heart wrench for this woman.

Clarisse raised her hand and cupped the side of Charlotte's face, smiling sadly.

"It was my own stubborn decision that caused it. I decided to carry out a task without protection so what started out as something harmless turned into pure torture" Clarisse dropped her hand from Charlotte's face, and turned her gaze to the glowing sunset.

"I was attacked by a man in my own sisters home. It was only the attacker and I so nothing could be done. There was no way I could get help and no way I could overtake him myself.

"Who would have thought that one night of torture would cause a lifetime of suffering?" Clarisse whispered.

"What - " Charlotte began to ask, but the truth struck home before she finished.

"No!" Charlotte gasped, grabbing Clarisse's arm, making her face her, wanting desperately for her to deny it.

Clarisse took Charlotte's hands into her own and twisted her body so she was facing the young woman.

"Do you see why I kept it from you? Do you see why I couldn't keep you? The decision I made was the only possibility Charlotte! Surely you must understand now! Your monster of a father was dead; he shot himself so there was no one else who could know of what happened. Until a week ago, it was only the doctor and I who knew of your existence but then Joseph found out. I don't know how he guessed but he has also sworn secrecy.

"I know this is hard to except Charlotte and I know there is so much to take in, but it is the way it has all turned out" Clarisse was holding onto Charlotte tightly, pleading with her eyes for her to understand.

Charlotte just stared at Clarisse. Her mind was totally blank.

This was more than she had ever imagined. It just kept getting deeper and darker that Charlotte felt she would only need to pinch herself to find it was all just a terrible nightmare…

Then everything came screaming at her like a rushing train.

"I'm an unwanted child" Charlotte stated unfeeling.

"No – " Clarisse shook her head, trying to keep a hold of Charlotte's withdrawing hands.

"I am a product of a horrible sin. How could anyone love me?" she was mumbling, her heart and soul shattered.

"No, Charlotte, please – " Clarisse was trying in vain to convince her otherwise.

Charlotte just shook her off, standing up from the rock and walking dazedly back to the palace, silent, leaving Clarisse to her own sorrows.

Charlotte would never remember how she had made it back to her room, or when exactly she had begun sobbing uncontrollably. Nor when the comforting arms had wrapped her into a loving embrace.

All she would remember was the love that this woman was showing her and feeding into her broken soul after so many years of absence. The comfort she felt that night was nothing like she had ever experienced in her life before.

Perhaps this woman could be forgiven.

A.N. – My goodness… please review…