Disclaimer: We, that is to say, the marauders, have never heard of this JK Rowling person, and would like to add that she will not be exempt from any pranks we may play in the future. We would also like to thank Silkscale (who, though she may be a snake, is actually a GRYFFINDOR and therefore ROCKS, although she is also not exempt from any pranks we may play in the future!) for the use of her computer!
HA-HA-HAAAAA! I, Sirius Black, aged either 15 or 104 (guess, go on, guess! You'll never guess!) have gotten my filthy paws on the internet! BEWARE MUGGLES! maniacal laughter I will now annoy the entire world by writing an annoying story about—
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Prongs, keep him AWAY from the computer! Right, now then, a story….okay, here goes…
"No!" she cried after his retreating figure "Wait! I've changed my mind!"
"James I do love you after all, now hurry up and kiss me!"
He grinned, and kissed her so well that she fainted.
"Marry me, Evans!" he asked brightly when she came round, pulling a solid gold, diamond-encrusted ring out of his pocket.
"Okay!"
And they lived happily ever aft—
PRONGS, GET OFF THE BLOODY COMPUTER! WE ARE NOT WRITING A FANTASY STORY ABOUT YOU AND LILY EVANS!
Well who says it's fantasy, huh Moony? I do take divination, after all!
Grow up, prongs, Lily hates your guts.
She doesn't have to like my guts, just so long as she likes my kissing...
(sighs) (looks skyward) Why me! Why must I be surrounded by idiots!
That hurt, Moony!
Accurate though.
True.
Okay then, on with the story…
He kept walking, disappearing into the thick white blanket of mist. He hadn't heard. She had to catch him!
"Wait!" she called out desperately "Please wait!"
She ran after him. He was almost out of sight now. She sprinted round a corner and—
"BAGGAWAGABULLAWALLABLEEEUGH!"
She had unwittingly wandered into the territory of a tribe of Ecky-ecky-ptangs, who are three feet high, bald, green skinned, and have long red and purple hairs growing out of their noses!
They also have absolutely no relevance whatsoever to this thoroughly boring story!
THEN WILL YOU PLEASE GET THEM OUT OF IT!
You get them out of it!
Fine!
And then in a puff of smoke, the Ecky-Ecky-ptangs disappeared, leaving her wondering if it had all been a dream—
When in fact it was only a psychopathic teenager trying to drive the human race insane!
Then a large anvil appeared out of nowhere directly above Prongs' head. Then gravity took hold and the anvil dropped onto Prongs' head, allowing Moony to continue the story in peace!
And leaving WhatsHerName extremely confused.
Anyhow, the man had also disappeared, which made her very sad, and now that we're finished this chapter we can turn the computer off and Sirius can annoy someone else for a change!
And where does that leave her?
SHUT UP!
NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP!
WHY NOT!
BECAUSE I'M BORED AND I WANT TO ANNOY YOU!
Okay then, here you go, I have a game.
GOODYGOODYGOODY!
…
…
Okaaaay………well anyhow, when I type the word "off", you turn the computer off, and when I type the word "on", you turn the computer on.
I am insulted that you think I'd fall for that!
Why?
Shut up.
Why?
Because I said so.
Why?
I don't know, ask Moony!
Why?
Because he always knows the answers to things!
Why?
Because he's smart!
Why?
Okay Moony, let's play your game! Wormtail, the off button if you please!
Why?
Off
Why?
Off!
Why?
You forgot the speech marks.
Why?
Oh for the love of—fine then! "off"
Wh—
8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8—8
There you have it. I-cough-they will write more if/when I-cough-they feel like it.
Lotsa luv
Silkscale/Yazmari/Watteva
>:-D
ps. REVIEW! OR I WILL SET THE ECKY-ECKY-PTANGS ON YOU! BAGGAWAGABULLAWALLABLEEEUGH!