Disclaimer: ah, wattever! Oh, and I don't own "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night". That's by Janet & Allan Ahlberg, and is a really great picture book!
Ok, my Mum said she couldn't figure out who was talking and when so………Remus/Moony is plain text………Sirius/Padfoot is bold txt………James/Prongs is underline……… Peter/Wormtail doesn't really feature much, so he has an introduction, and if you see plain italics it's either me, or Moony writing in the story, if you see bold italics, it's Padfoot writing the story, and this is Prongs writing the story, ok?
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Okay, I am REALLY to the power of 900,0000,000,487 BORED! So I think the marauders can appear in a puff of purple smoke and relieve the monotony.
-PUFF-
Where did all that smoke come from?
And why was it necessary? We were standing just outside the door!
I think Silkscale wanted to fashion a dramatic overture to excite and astound the expectant onlookers.
………?
………?
-sigh- She wants to show off to the readers.
Oh!
Ah!
Why didn't you say so in the first place?
I thought he did.
……………………………………………………………you read too much.
So?
Nothing.
Good.
What would you have done if I'd said "something"?
Hauled off and slugged you.
On the computer?
Yes.
Oh. Ok! Umm...How?
A fanfiction authoress has her ways… :-D
Okay, she has officially freaked me out!
Me too!
Me three!
…………………………………………………………………..Sirius, that was really lame.
I know.
Good.
What would you have said if I'd said "no it wasn't"?
Danced the hornpipe over your dead body.
…………Jaaames?…………heeeelp?...pleeaase?...
Oh, shut up.
Anyway, do you guys wanna write a story or something?
Sure, anything for a fan!
Oh, shut up.
Finally, someone who can see where I'm coming from!
Right, so I'm gonna go visit with Lils and Am and Kit, and youse can write a story, but can't sink my boat, okay?
O…kay…
Hey Silk, put in a good word for me with Evans?
No.
-pouts- Why not?
Because anyone who so much as mentions your name within 20 meters of her, finds him or herself in the hospital wing ten minutes later. That's why not.
-smirks- it's just an act!
Sure Prongs, sure. That's why Travers in the sixth year now has cheese coming out his nostrils. Now go deflate your head before I do it for you with a pin!
Wormtail: I like cheese!
…………………………you need psychiatric help. Badly.
----
Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best beginning we had last time.
I'll say!
So now I'll try again.
-loud yawn-
Shut up.
----
It was a dark and stormy night…
Which meant that Lily Evans and James Potter were taking shelter in a barn………together………with lots of hay………hint-hint………
And it was high up in the mountains where there weren't any barns!
Which meant that Lily Evans and James Potter were taking shelter in a cave………together……—
---
STOP IT! THAT IS SO ANNOYING! I HAVE ALREADY TOLD YOU, THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE ONE OF YOUR MA RATED FANTASIES ABOUT YOU AND LILY EVANS!
-pouts- pleeeeease?
NO WAY!
-sulks-
--
It was a dark and stormy night…
The rain came down in torrents…
There were brigands in the mountains,—
--
What are brigands?
Robbers.
Oh.
--
—and wolves, and the chief of the brigands said to—
--
Ooh! Me, me, pick meeeeee!
……riiiiight……okay then….
--
—Sirius, "I'm bored, tell us a story!"
--
My turn, my turn!
-muttered- heaven help us! –louder- yes, Padfoot, you can have a turn…
MOONY, NOOO! DON'T GIVE SIRIUS THE COMPUTER!
Too late! Ha-ha!
--
Sirius scratched his head, puffed out his cheeks and said, "I don't know any stories."
"Make one up." Growled the chief.
"Yeah," said the brigands. "Begin at the beginning."
"Right'o!" Sirius said, and he paused for a moment — and began his story.
--
Well? Why have you stopped?
I can't think of a story!
Just say the first thing that comes into your head. It should be good for a laugh at least!
--
It was a bright and sunny day…
--
Whoa. Talk about a change of scene!
Shut up Moony.
--
Four teenage guys were lounging around down by the lake…
--
Which lake
A lake. Shut up.
--
They were bored.
Very bored.
REALLY to the power of 900,0000,000,487 BORED!
"What we need," said James Potter, "is for something unusual to happen"
At that moment—
Sirius, with a Tarzan yell, jumped into the lake.
Which was—
Not even remotely surprising, as everyone already knew that Sirius was crazy!
--
Hey! Stop invading my story!
:-D! Revenge is sweet!
Shut up!
--
Anyway, let's start again!
It was a bright and sunny day, and three teenage guys and a monkey called Remus were lounging around down by the lake.
"Revenge is sweet!" said Sirius Black with a grin, as Remus, with a Tarzan yell jumped into the lake.
--
Alright! I'll leave you alone, if you change me back into myself!
Okay.
--
Let's forget the lake, and go to a……
Desert!
No, not desert, dessert! (:-D! oO!!!!!
Padfoot, you're a genius!
Yes, but we already knew that, didn't we!
No.
Anyway, these four guys were sitting in that-really-nice-ice-cream-place-in-Diagon-Alley-that-I've-fogotten-the-name-of!
"This is WAY better than the lake!" said Sirius Black,--
--as he ate his entire triple scoop, the works ice-cream in one gulp, because he always does!
"I think I could probably change James into a monkey too, if he so desires…" Sirius continued, with a meaningful look at the previous sentence.
--
How could he look at the sentence when he's IN the story?
Watteva.
--
At that moment, Lily Evans and Gen Goldie and Meg Red and Elle Roux walked by.
--
Sirius, you IDIOT!
What?
Now James is going to—
--
Then Lily Evans ran up to James Potter and said "James, I love you—
"—because you're such a cute monkey!"
--
Fine!
Good!
But!
NO!
Except?
Yes, but not!
Okay! Fine! –pouts-
……………………………huh?
NO!
o.O!
--
Anyway, just then Lily Evans and Gen Goldie and Meg Red and Elle Roux walked by.
"Hey Silk, Hey Am, hey Kit." said the guys, all except Prongs, who was drooling over Evans.
"Hey Guys." Said Gen "Lil's, Am, Kit and I were gonna go get our school books. Wanna come?"
"Sure." Said the guys, all except Prongs, who jumped into the air and yelled "YAAAAAAAHOOOOOO! YESYESYEEEEEES!"
The other three guys and Silkscale sighed and shook their heads hopelessly. Ambereyes and Kitty looked perplexed. Evans looked alarmed.
"Ummm…Gen?" asked Evens
"Hmm?"
"Uh. Do we HAVE to bring him?"
"If I say "no" he'll put nifflers in our dorm."
"Is that a "yes" then?" asked Evens dejectedly.
"Probably."
James stood there with an idiotic grin on his face! (love! eugh!)
Evans looked at him for a second then turned back to Gen. "Couldn't we just hide our valuables? Nifflers really aren't all that bad…"
"Look, Lils, all you gotta do is stand between me and Am, and then you'll be relatively safe."
Evans took a deep breath "okay, I can do this, it can't be as hard as OWLs… can it?"
"Relax Evans!" said Sirius with a grin. "We're just getting our school books! What could happen?"
--
Okay, that is the most obvious line in the English language!
What is?
"What could happen?"! It's right up there with, "At least it can't get any worse!" and, "I'm sure it'll be fine!"
Your point?
-rolls eyes- never mind!
Okay!
-stares at Sirius for a moment, then sighs and shakes his head, at a loss for words-
--
And, now, just to be annoying, I'll say that that's the end of chapter 1! Tune in next time for "Chapter Two: 'What Could Happen?'"
MWOOHAHAHAHAA!
MWOOHAHAHAHAAA!
MWOOHAHAHAHAAAA!
--
Scary!
I'll say!
Be afraid, be very afraid!
Why?
NOOOOOOO! NOT "WHY?" AGAIN!
Why?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You know, for someone whose primary goal in life is to annoy people, you get wound up pretty easily!
Yeah, you do. Why?
-muttering to self- sfjfrjkjjdcnjdojhfhurhjahsiejnddfiunsnuhdcjskeieiijdoednjjsjjdeufjuf………
-watches Sirius for a moment- you know, Prongs, I think he might have gone insane…
-shrugs- what else is new?
True.