Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin had taken their time leaving Hogwarts that evening.
"You both should be heading home," muttered Mrs. Weasley, administering salve to Bill while Fleur adjusted his pullows.. "I'll reach you if he wakes up." With a last, concerned look at Mr. Weasley, Remus turned to go. Tonks quickly got up.
"I'll see you soon, Molly, Arthur. Good luck." Molly nodded and smiled half-heartedly before going back to gazing at her son. Tonks caught up with Remus in the corridor.
"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to wander off alone after dark?" Tonks joked, jogging to keep up with his swift pace. Her cheer didn't reach her eyes. "There could be dangerous crea---It could be dangerous, that's all."
"Without Dumbledore," Remus added bitterly, "Yes, it certainly could be." Tonks seemed surprised that he'd responded at all. They were nearing the Great Hall.
"I'm sorry," Tonks said finally, as they entered into the cool night air. "I didn't think—"
Remus winced. Or maybe he was smiling. Tonks couldn't tell in the pitch-black of the Hogwarts grounds. Even Hagrid's hut was dark. She heard a sigh. "Where are you headed?" Remus asked quietly.
"H-home," Tonks stuttered. His question mystified her. "And you?"
"I'm afraid I'm far too distressed to make it back to London tonight, and I wasn't sure you would be able to make it far yourself." Tonks had to squelch a surge of happiness that arose in her when she realized Remus was worried about her. She knew he felt the same way… "And if you're not too tired, I thought perhaps we could go for a coffee somewhere in Hogsmeade, and then stay at an inn for the night. I haven't a broomstick, but I'm sure Minerva would let us borrow two from the school—"
"Why are you doing this?" Tonks asked, flabbergasted.
"Doing what?"
"Why coffee? Why go to an inn?" She asked him, utterly confused.
"You're right; if we have coffee, we most likely could forego the brooms and Apparate home without splinching ourselves." At Tonks' miffed silence, Remus nodded. "The Hog's Head all right?"
"Er, yes…?"
"Then it's settled." They neared Hogsmeade and set off in the direction of the bar. Tonks hoped it would be open this late and suddenly remembered why the Three Broomsticks was out of the question. She pulled Remus to a halt.
"Has anyone done anything about Madam Rosmerta?" She asked, panicking. Remus stopped walking. He took out his wand and conjured a dim Patronus, concentrating harder than she'd ever seen him have to. The silvery specter was large and canine like Tonks' own wolf. Although she had seen it several times before, Tonks realized she'd never noticed that it was a dog. A Grim, by the look of it, but before she could examine it further, it set off the direction they had just come from. They waited a few moments beside the darkened lake. Tonks lit her wand and peered over at her companion. Lupin was squinting hard, though against her wandlight or the thought of Dumbledore's death, she couldn't tell.
"I'm sorry," she said again. I know he was a great friend of yours."
"He was." Lupin replied shortly. He didn't need to tell her of the many ways in which Dumbledore had helped him over the years. She knew very well of his fond memories of Hogwarts and of the job he'd held at the school three years before. "There he comes."
Sure enough, Tonks could make out Professor Flitwick hurrying towards them. He arrived, panting. "Remus— Nymphadora—"
"I'm sorry to disturb you, Professor, but are we to take Madam Rosmerta to the Ministry?" Remus asked him politely; Tonks noticed he used the old epithet and was reminded of the fact that Remus had been a Hogwarts pupil first and a teacher second.
"No, no," wheezed Flitwick. "Kingsley came down twenty minutes ago to take care of it!"
"Ah. Thank you."
"Remus, Minerva wanted me to tell you also that-" He took a gulp of air-"That Dumbledore will be buried in three days and that-" he paused to gasp again-" The Three Broomsticks is under her charge until Madam Rosmerta's case is sorted out by the Aurors and you both are welcome to stay there until the… funeral."
"Thanks, Professor," Tonks said. Flitwick smiled wearily and sped back up the hill towards Hogwarts. "Well, that's convenient," she said, searching Remus' face for any sign of…anything. He was always so hard for her to read. They continued walking.
Once they arrived at The Hog's Head and had been shown their seats, Tonks cleared her throat. "Remus?"
"Yes?" He looked strained and not nearly as collected as his voice would have had her believe.
"Is now the time to discuss it?" She waited with bated breath. He took his time in answering her, but she knew that was just his way. Remus was so thoughtful…she loved him so much.
With a resolute look on his lined face, Remus nodded and asked Tonks how old she was.
"Twenty-three," she said warily.
"I am thirty-nine. I was already in my sixth year when you were born." His face had not lost the tenseness it had held all evening. His eyes looked sad and tumultuous.
"I don't care," whispered Tonks. "Although I reckon you know that by now." She managed a smile and was pleased to see his mouth quirk up slightly.
"I've heard," he said. "I am too old for you, Tonks, and certainly dangerous, and really very poor. But you deserve honesty." He turned to face her; she caught her breath at the intensity of his brown eyes on her own. "I owe you more than that, even."
They stared at one another in silence until their coffees arrived some time later. Tonks thoughtfully sipped hers while wondering what came next. It was time; she and Remus had worked together, off and on, for nearly two years now, and still they didn't know each other all too well. For a moment, she wondered if what Remus said had any merit, if he really was not right for her after all. But she'd known from the first time they'd met that they would get along, and they had. Even if Remus did not want to admit it, she knew he enjoyed spending time with her, and although they'd never discussed it, Tonks had drawn comfort from him after Sirius' death, and felt as though she'd given him the same.
Remus set down his mug. "I'm not who you think I am, Tonks. I've never been completely honest with you or with most people I've known. But the fact of the matter is, I'm a homosexual and you're now the only one alive who knows it." He searched her face now for a response. She was silent, her eyes only slightly widened. "I'm very sorry you had to find out now, but I've never been able to bring myself to tell Molly, and I know she's been endlessly, ah, helpful in getting you interested in my, but really it's been terribly unhelpful, as—as you might be able to tell, now." Remus realized he'd been babbling on, and it was not the first time that night he had the grace to be embarrassed.
"You're not having me on, are you?" Tonks asked weakly, trying and failing to stifle her hope that he was.
Remus chuckled, albeit nervously. "I'm afraid not."
"And—Dumbledore?"
"He…was…someone who knew, yes."
"Who else?" Tonks demanded, now slightly angry. How many people had figured this out before she'd been told? How many people had Remus confided this to before?
"Well, my parents, of course." Remus shifted uncomfortably. "It's one of the reasons the lack of a job has been so difficult; they've not helped me at all since I was seventeen. Being a werewolf—that was something they felt guilty over, something they could understand. But, well…They didn't even—I didn't even know Death Eaters had got to my father until my mother's death was announced in the Daily Prophet two years after he died."
Tonks inhaled sharply. She wanted to console him, but words were failing her at the moment. Instinctively, she took his hand in her own on the table. To her surprise, he only looked at their entwined fingers beside his cup, and didn't take his away. She felt comforted, then, as though Remus could understand her silent condolences. And he probably could, she mused; he was a very skilled Legilimens. "Is that all?" She managed sometime later, when their coffee was cold and Remus had taken his hand from hers to pay the bill. She'd let him; his confession had awoken in her both a sense of relief (so he did not find her unattractive!) and a kind of anger. Why had it taken him so long to tell her all this?
"No," he replied tensely, and Tonks could feel her anger simmering slightly. He took a deep breath, and Tonks felt a surge of heat run up her spine. She still found him incredibly handsome, and that bothered her still more. "Sirius knew." She watched him steel himself against an expected attack, but the anger in her belly did not increase at this statement.
"Sirius knew," she repeated, hoping that hearing herself say it might bring about the answer as to why Remus assumed this would anger her. When no such revelation came, she went on. "So Sirius knew…I'm not that surprised…did he mind it or something?" Watching her friend, she saw Remus start in confusion.
"Tonks, what—didn't your mother…ever tell you…?" Remus drifted off as it became clear Andromeda had never enlightened her daughter.
"Tell me what?" Tonks asked, alarmed, just as Remus blurted out—
"Sirius was gay!" Several late-night patrons of the Hog's Head looked at them with new interest. Tonks' mouth dropped open.
"You—you and him!" The other customers were watching them both avidly now. Remus' head dropped dejectedly into his hands. Tonks just gaped.
"Perhaps—perhaps we should make our way to the inn," Remus said into his palms.
"I think I'll just go home, if you've got nothing else to tell me!" Tonks stormed. "Surely there's not more I need to know? Maybe you want to inform me that I was adopted or that my mother isn't really dead now, do you?"
"No, of course not," Remus said, looking up. "No, Tonks—would you like to talk about it?"
"No!" Tonks hissed. "I—can't believe it…you…Sirius… how could I have been so stupid?"
"It isn't like that!" Remus kept his voice quiet but slightly urgent. "No—we—I never thought it would go so far—Molly—if she had known, this never would have—"
"You think that if Molly Weasley hadn't tried to get us in the same room every so often, that I wouldn't feel this way about you? You think that my loving you could have been stopped if Molly Weasley decided instead to mind her own business?" She took a breath, and Remus seized the opportunity to cut in.
"No- Tonks, I didn't say that—"
"No, but you meant to. You think I only have a silly, girlish crush on you. You think I'll stop feeling this way now that I know you—" She broke down. "Now that I know you better," she said thickly, her cheeks wet.
Remus looked stricken. "Let's go," he implored. "Tonks—let's get to bed…We could both use the sleep." Apparently agreeing, Tonks rose and grabbed her cloak.