A/N bows head I am sorry. It's been a week since my last update. It's Coldfire's fault (points finger) for introducing me to a really good site.
Severus looks at her sceptically.
Well it IS really true! Really, it is!
The Order of the Phoenix had grown a lot over the past years, when it became more and more apparent that Voldemort really wasn't going to go away on his own.
Many of the students that graduated from Hogwarts joined, a lot of them had been too young to remember the peaceful times of Voldemort's dormancy, but they did long for a world in which they did not have to fear for their lives from infancy on. Many had lost relatives or friends to the war. Harry had become the second-in-command, had taken that post almost naturally over the years. It was him who was expected to defeat Voldemort. He had made it very clear to Dumbledore, the summer after Snape's arrest, that he was not going to sit idly while others suffered. The daring Gryffindor boy had grown into a calculating, capable leader.
Severus realized this during the meetings he attended with the Order. As he listened to Harry, he heard the voice of an experienced commander, even if the boy was barely twenty years old. He spoke of things that people three times his age had not seen or even imagined. Severus was torn between being proud of the awe-inspiring leader he saw, and weeping for the boy that had gotten lost in all the war activities.
He knew Albus felt the same way. When he looked at the face of Remus Lupin, he suspected the man had the same thoughts as the two of them.
Remus Lupin.
He was terrified of the man. Had been since his sixth year, though he never admitted it. Oh, the man himself wasn't scary. In fact, Remus Lupin was the only one of the Marauders that he had more or less forgiven for the torment in his youth.
Although he had accepted that the man had not known of the prank Black had played on him, the werewolf still haunted his nightmares. Even in Azkaban. Especially in Azkaban.
He contemplated this during a training session. Albus and he were sitting on the side, watching Harry and Draco duel. He cast a sideways glance at the old man. Albus had always forbidden him from talking about that incident. He had no one to turn to. Harry knew about it, of course, but Remus was the only godfather Harry had left. It wouldn't be fair to talk to Harry about it.
He shook his head. He could deal with the werewolf. They didn't meet all that often, and when they did, they simply exchanged polite greetings. The werewolf had thought him guilty, he knew, but he had never tried to pressure Harry into believing the same thing, and even covered up for him while he was still hunting Lucius Malfoy.
He had asked Minerva about it a long time ago, a few years after he had come to teach at Hogwarts. She had been very reluctant to talk about it, but finally admitted that keeping Sirius in school had not been her idea. He also learned that Sirius had not escaped completely unpunished; Minerva had made him research what the Ministry did to werewolves who had been caught killing someone, thus pointing out to him what would have happened to Remus had his 'joke' gone wrong.
Despite everything, he hoped that Lupin hadn't read it all. He had thanked Minerva at the time, and it had been the start of a…not a friendship; he didn't do friends at that time, but a feeling of respect that was based on more then her position or age.
"Sickle for your thoughts," Dumbledore interrupted his musings.
Severus shrugged. "Nothing. Nothing you'd want to pay a sickle for, anyway," he said, sneering just the tiniest bit.
Dumbledore frowned.
"I'm sure I would pay more then a sickle, Severus."
The Potions Master gave him a sceptic look but said nothing. When Harry and Draco were done, he took the opportunity to practice a bit with the younger Slytherin.
Harry sat down next to the Headmaster. "In for some sparring, sir?" he offered, drinking some water.
"Hmmm? Oh, sorry Harry, I was…"
"Lost in thought," Harry said, "Yes, I noticed. What's wrong?"
Dumbledore sighed. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like Severus and I are closer now then we were before…before Azkaban, and on days like these, when he obviously is keeping something from me, I am reminded that we're still doing the 'two steps forward, one step back' thing."
Harry shrugged. "That's only to be expected. His trust in you has been shattered, completely and utterly, and he has, on some points, never been able to trust you at all."
Dumbledore looked up in surprise. "Like what?"
Harry drank some more. "My father. Sirius. Even Remus, to some extend. He has always taken second place whenever they were in sight. Oh, he never talks to me about it anymore, don't worry. He never bad mouths my father or godfathers anymore. But it is obvious those years have hurt him, and Azkaban can only have increased that. You handled that situation extremely badly when they were at school, headmaster."
"Albus, Harry, Albus. And you are right. I never allowed him to talk about it, especially not the Shrieking Shack incident…"
Harry's head jerked up in surprise. "You never let him talk about that? To anyone? Not even you? He didn't get any help at all?"
Dumbledore lowered his eyes at the young man's accusing glare and shook his head.
"No. The first weeks after it happened he tried to talk to me about it, but I told him it was basically his own fault and he had to get over it."
Harry paled. "Oh Merlin, no wonder he hated Dad and Sirius. He must be terrified of Remus. I know it took Ron, Hermione and me some time to get over facing the werewolf, and WE are his friends."
Dumbledore nodded sadly. "I don't really know what to do about it now. I don't want to pressure him, not after all he's already been through…"
"I know. But perhaps this is one point we should help him with, since he feels he cannot talk to either one of us."
Before they ever had a chance to bring it up with the Potions Master, a frantic Tonks rushed into Hogwarts early one morning.
"ALBUS! ALBUS! I…he…Remus…" she collapsed unto a chair, crying, a piece of parchment clutched in one hand.
"Nymphadora? What is the matter?" Dumbledore asked, shocked.
Sobbing, she held out the bit of parchment.
'Miss Tonks,
If you and your precious Order wish to see the werewolf alive again, then have Potter and the traitor meet me at Diagon Alley, one week from today, at 6 pm precise. The street must be empty. If you do not comply, I will start sending the werewolf back in little pieces.'
The short letter was signed with a Dark Mark.
Dumbledore paled and sighed.
"Yes, this is Tom's handwriting. I'm so sorry Nymphadora. I will call the Order immediately for a meeting."
"But Albus! Six pm next week, that's like, an hour before the full moon," she sobbed, "if we go, we will get back a fully transformed werewolf."
Dumbledore patted her hair. "We will do our best to save him, child, you know that."
"So this is the situation. Any suggestions?"
The whole room buzzed with people shouting ideas, ranging from bizarre rescue missions to just allowing the werewolf to die…though they did not say it in those terms exactly.
Severus shivered.
Harry looked thoughtful, though pale at the news of his godfather's abduction.
"What are you thinking, Harry?" Tonks asked.
"Well, I was thinking two things. The first is that it might be best to await the confrontation in Diagon Alley; they won't hurt him before then and WE have plenty of time to prepare the scene, Voldemort doesn't. I was also wondering if I could mindlink with a werewolf," Harry said, "to keep him calm."
Severus nodded. "That would probably work, Harry. But it would take all of your concentration so you can't focus on Voldemort. I'm the only one with enough experience to do it; let me mindlink with Lupin so you can take on Voldemort if that is necessary. I will Apparate with Lupin to a safe location and then return to help you."
Harry looked at him. "That means you will have to face him, Severus. Can you do that?"
Dumbledore covered his eyes.
"I can do that, Harry. It needs to be done. Albus and Draco aren't experienced enough yet. We can't let Remus be hurt, and we can't let him hurt anyone else. We will need to evacuate the Alley, completely. They will probably gather in Knockturn Alley, so we should pay extra attention to the entry to it."
Tonks nodded, comforted. "Thank you, Severus," she said.
Bill and Arthur were already planning the evacuation with the twins, and decided to set up a field office in the apartment above their shop.
The meeting was adjourned and the members rushed out, having lots to prepare for.
"Severus," Dumbledore said, "child, we need to talk."
The Potions Master, already on his way out, turned, the doorknob still in his hand.
"We have nothing to talk about," he said coolly, "what would there be?"
The headmaster hesitated. "Severus, I know how you feel about Remus…"
Severus' face became a stone mask. "He is a member of the Order. I will do what needs to be done."
"Severus, please!"
The mask slipped and was replaced by an angry and hurt expression. "So now you want to talk about it? After telling me to keep my silence for years? Now that you fear I might endanger Remus with my feelings towards him?"
"NO! I didn't mean to imply that! I only wanted…"
"You want to make sure your werewolf is safe. Don't worry, I know I can link with him, and if not, I will not harm him in any way, only restrain him until I can get him to safety."
Harry interrupted softly. "That's not what he meant, Severus. I'm worried too, and I know you are capable of doing this."
"He is your godfather, of course you are worried," Severus dismissed.
"No, Severus," Harry said, standing in front of the man, "obviously I worry about Remus. But I care about you, too. I'm worried it may be too much for you, to face Remus in his werewolf form again."
"I've handled it twice before, and I did fine. Now if you excuse me, I have training to do."
He left the room and soon Harry's wards told him he had arrived back at the mansion.
"Stubborn as a mule," Harry said, "but I can't blame him. He will keep Remus safe, headmaster, don't worry. And after this is over, you can try to talk to him about this. You won't get anything out of him when he's in this mood."
He got up. "I have training to do, too. Voldemort will show up in person, and I want to be ready."