Disclaimer: Own nothing what so ever.

Author Notes: This is the second to last chapter. I was going to have the wedding in this one, but it got too long. Chapter 11 will be up tomorrow or later today. Hope everyone enjoys Rory's wake-up call. Thanks to everyone that reviewed.

Chapter 10: Always Seem to Hold On

Rory sat on the couch staring blankly into space never in her life feeling as lost as she did now. Nobody wanted to be around her, nobody could talk to her and she had no idea what to do. She decided to go for a walk, thinking that maybe that would make things fall into perspective. Rory didn't want to go crawling home to her mother, as much as she wanted to, she knew she needed to figure things out on her own and could not just go and have her mother figure it all out. That was probably the main reason she didn't want to talk to her mother, Rory knew everything that she was feeling would fly out of her mouth and then her mother would know that Rory was afraid that she couldn't do anything. She was feeling overwhelmed with the world and just wanted to go back to being 16 where the hardest thing she had to do was learn to drive a car. Rory shook her head to clear it and grabbed the Birken bag on the table, left a note for Logan saying she went for a walk, and walked out the door.

She walked around Manhattan heading for a small little coffee shop near Times Square that was exactly what she needed now; small, quiet, and people wouldn't talk to her. She walked in the door and the smell of coffee and sounds of quiet conversation flooded her with nostalgia. She ordered a large coffee and a scone and went to sit in the corner of the shop near the fire place and a bookcase of books. She reached into the Birken bag, pulled out her old beat up copy of Anna Karenina, and noticed the letters that she had stuffed in the bag right before she and Logan left for New York. Rory put the book back in the huge, pink bag once again wondering why Logan would give her something like this, and pulled the unopened letters out instead. The most recent one was from Luke, arriving about 2 days before she left for New York, and the second letter had arrived a few days after Thanksgiving and was from Jess. Rory wasn't sure what was in either letter and held them in her hands for a few minutes before working up the nerve to read Jess' letter first.

Rory,

I wanted to apologize for the way I talked to you the other day, but I am not going to apologize for the things I said. I don't know why you gave up your dreams and why you are so determined to become something you aren't. I want you to be happy and don't see you being happy as a rich, stay at home wife who does nothing but listen to her husband talk about his job and plans while the wife just goes to meetings. It may be something your grandmother loves to do, but you are not like her. I hope you find your dreams again and remember that you never before let people talk you out of them.

Jess

Rory folded the letter and put it back in the envelope remembering the hard and truthful words Jess shouted at her. He was right; she never gave up on her dreams before and refused to let anyone tell her she wasn't good enough. Rory thought back to when she started Chilton and was so far behind. The teachers and the headmaster all told her that she could quit and go back to Stars Hollow High, even her mother said that if she wanted to she could go back and she wouldn't care. Rory remembered the conversation that they had while looking for the deer that hit her. Her mother asked then if the dream of Harvard was actually her dream or something that she felt Lorelai had pressured her to do. Rory remembered feeling bad that her mother thought that her problems in school were her fault and had mentally resolved then and there never to let people tell her she couldn't do anything.

'How did I forget that?' Rory thought to herself before opening Luke's letter.

Dear Rory,

I heard you finished your community service. Congratulations! I hope it went easily and quickly for you and didn't cause you too many problems. I knew you would be able to get down before the time they set, you always went above any expectation anyone ever set for you.

I don't know if you have been reading your mother's letters or even if you would read this, but your mother and I are getting married in two weeks on December 15th (which if you read the letters you would know but if not then this is something else I told you that I shouldn't have which will make your mother mad at me and then she'll pout and I'll cave and give her three extra cups of coffee). Anyway Rory, we really want you to be there. It wouldn't be the same if you weren't here to jump around with your mother, to talk her into wearing normal shoes and not the Hello! Kitty ones she thinks she can get away with wearing, and to dance around to crazy music that Lorelai will insist on playing and then singing along to and then mock me because I don't know the names of any band that she knows. Something would be missing from this day and I don't know if your mother and I will actually be able to get married without you there; we both want our daughter there for this moment.

I really hope you just didn't get freaked out by me calling you my daughter, but that's how I feel. I have seen you through your many accomplishments in your life; caterpillar funerals, birthdays, graduations and would do anything for you. So even though biologically you aren't mine, in my heart you are my daughter (that sound you just heard was your mother going "Awww Lukey you are such a softy", so can you please not share this letter with her, I do have an image after all).

I was walking by the Red, White, and Black Theater and saw that they were playing Pippi Longstockings and remembered that night of the double date when you mother and I had just started dating. That was a really bad night and it was mostly my fault. I explained to your mother why I acted like I did, but I never explained it to you, so I'll attempt to do that now.

Kid, you are like Pippi. Not the crazy hair or the weird strength, but the spirit. You have the same amazing spirit that your mother has that drove her to live her life on her own terms and not let anyone get her down. It's that amazing light of life in her that first drew me to her and you have the same thing. You have the ability to do great things for this world, whether it is writing, teaching, reporting, whatever you want to do you can do it. You have the ability, kid, to take this world over and change it for the better. You can do so much more than living in Stars Hollow or Hartford, planning events for the DNR or whatever it is called that your mother makes fun of all the time. So if I may give you some fatherly advice that my dad once told me when I thought the world was coming down around me; "Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do".

Don't hold on to what one person told you, Rory; learn from it, make yourself better for it, and then let go of it. Live your life like Pippi and keep your dreams no matter what people say. Nobody knows it all (no matter what Lorelai says about Miss Cleo) and nobody can tell you what your life should be, only you can makes those choices. Don't just give up your dreams kid, nothing good ever comes from that.

I hope to see you at the wedding, December 15th, 2 pm in the town square. I'll be the one in the suit and your mother will be the one in the dress.

Love,

Luke

Rory looked up after reading Luke's letter, wiping tears off her stunned, shocked face. She was touched that Luke thought of her as his daughter, considering she loved him like a father. Rory didn't know what to make of the rest of the letter though. Mitchum Huntzberger was the man in publishing; he would know if she had what it takes.

'But he couldn't possibly have an ulterior motive. It's not like you were the first girl his wild son brought home and a girl that was known to want a career when careers for women are frowned upon in that vapid world,' said the mental voice in her head that sounded like Lorelai.

'He gave me that internship to apologize,' retorted Rory.

'So he said.'

'Why would he say I didn't have it, if I actually did?' asked Rory, still unable to understand that someone could be that cruel.

'What if you do have it?'

'What if I don't!'

'How would you know if you don't even try!'

Instantly the arguing voices in her head silenced as clarity hit Rory. She suddenly understood what everyone had been telling her. It didn't matter if she did or didn't have it, what mattered was that she tried to make her dream come true and instead of trying, she gave up and ran away. Rory gathered her things and left the coffee shop on a run. She had a lot of things to make right. She found her dream again and this time she was going to try and make it come true.

Evening of December 14th

Logan was passing back and forth around the suite waiting for Rory to come back. He hasn't heard from her since he left her to think earlier in the afternoon and he was starting to get worried. He picked up his cell to try and call her again when she threw open the door and blew through the door, weighted down with shopping bags. He looked up at her and was shocked to see that she looked like herself again. The old, spirited, happy Rory was back and he had no idea what happened.

Rory walked into the hotel room and was instantly engulfed in a tight hug from Logan.

"Where have you been? I was getting really worried that you ran off or got hurt or something."

Rory smiled, glad that Logan cared that much about her, she sometimes wondered about his feelings for her. "I'm fine. I finally sorted myself out, and then had to get some things for tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow? Wait, you sorted yourself out?"

"Yes, I realized what everyone was telling me all along. It was stupid to just give up school and journalism just because your father said I didn't have it. They aren't his dreams, they are mine and I should be the one to decide if I don't have it, not some mean, cruel man, no offense."

"You forgot inconsiderate bastard," deadpanned Logan, kissing her on the forehead, while walking her to the couch.

"Well, umm, yeah. I still need to figure out my future, but I am not going to let others dictate to me what I should or can do."

"And tomorrow?"

"Which brings me to the bags. I told my mother a long time ago, when she first started dating Luke, that I would wear blue to the wedding. We had talked long and very descriptively about the dresses we would wear when they got married, which in itself is amazing because Lorelai Gilmore usually ran in the face of commitment, however with Luke it was always different, but I digress. The dress she would wear would be strapless and simple, with only some fancy embroidery as the decoration. Since I wanted to wear blue, it was going to be a simple spaghetti strap dress that my mom was going to make out of some shimmering satin that she had found years ago, but had wanted to save for a special occasion. Because New York is New York, I managed to find a dress that is pretty much exactly what we had planned," said Rory as she pulled a long dark blue dress out of one of her bags.

"Beautiful, just like you."

"Thanks, but hold that thought until you see what I got you."

"I can't pull off a dress like that, my hips are too big."

"Nope, not a dress, a tie."

"A tie?"

"Not just any tie," replied Rory reaching into another bag. "But a blue plaid flannel tie! I got one for Luke and his best man too."

"A blue, plaid flannel tie. And why should I wear this?" asked Logan in disbelief.

"Because not only will it match my dress, but will go perfect with the blue, plaid flannel stockings that I found for my mother," said Rory, waving around the stockings.

"Your mother is going to want to wear those?"

"If I know my mother, and I am pretty sure I do, she will love the fact that I brought her plaid flannel on the day she is marrying the Flannel Man," replied Rory with a smile.

"Plaid flannel tie it is then. I'll call my father and see if he can get us his company jet to fly to Hartford."

"Actually Logan, I took care of that too. I am done trying to live in world that I don't really belong. No more jets, DAR, tea parties, or trips on a whim. I want go back and appreciate the things I had to work for to get. In that vein, I got us train tickets. It leaves at 8 am, which gives us a few hours lee-way once we get to Stars Hollow."

"Well, let's go to bed. I have always wanted to ride a train," said Logan with a smile and a kiss for Rory.

"Thank you," Rory said softly.

"No problem, just glad to see you back to normal."

AN2: I had this written before last Tuesday's episode so my Logan is a bit OOC, but hey look for a rant next chapter involving Rory and Logan.