Disclaimer: None of it belongs to me but the plot.

A/N: Anyone know how to eneter square brackets? They never show up!

"Alanna! Thom!" Coram yelled as he fluently swore. He was not looking forward to being Thom's manservant. The boy's ability at the fighting arts were enough to make a whole squadron keel over in hysterics and would be the cause of Coram's unrelenting shame since he was supposed to teach the boy the basics of the warriors craft.

"Alanna! Get down here or I'll blunt your dagger on yer staff!" he threatened. "Ye too Thom or I might just forget to take any supplies with me and we'll have to go huntin'!"

Thom sidled into view after opening the door of the library a crack. "Who says you'll take any supplies with you anyway?" he grumbled as he joined the old soldier. "You do realise that Alanna's never going to go to the convent willingly." he remarked.

A few moments later, a red faced, obviously livid Alanna was half dragged, half carried down the stair by two stocky maids who looked as if they had just disembowelled a skunk and looked thoroughly harassed.

Alanna was only a few steps away from Coram before she finally gave up screaming obscenities and struggling furiously. "Aaargh! Fine! Just get off!" as she wrenched her arms free.

She glared at Coram with a look in her eyes that could stop a charging elephant. She was dressed in what would have been a pretty shirt and skirt if not for the creases that looked as if were ironed in.

"Maude is meetin' us outside the gates." Coram informed them. "Come on – your stuff is outside and it's 'bout time we left."

As planned, Maude met them outside the gates with a laden pony. She glanced at the twins and viewed it wise to keep silent and just follow.

After an hour or so, Thom and Alanna were drifting a little way behind. Alanna glanced at Thom with a oddly bright look in her eyes.

"What?" Thom snapped.

"Don't take that tone with me, brother. Just because I have to be a lady doesn't meant I can't still duck you in the pond." Alanna threatened. " Anyway" she said with a lighter tone "I've got an idea."

"Oh no. Not another crazy "why don't we switch places" idea. No way. You know that won't w-"

"Shut up and listen." She ordered through a fierce whisper. "I know I'm doomed to become a lady but how about you?"

Thom looked startled.

She carried on "You could come to the convent with me and -"

"Oh great idea" he drawled. "You pretending to be a boy doesn't work so how about I become a girl instead?" he muttered dryly.

Alanna shot him a look, which shut him up. "No" she hissed "the daughter of the convent take boys to be sorcerers for a couple of years before they go to the priest. We could convince Coram easily enough – we can threaten him with visions – you know he's afraid of magic and it's not as if he wants to go with you to the palace anyway."

Thom's eyes opened wide. "That might just work!" he breathed. "And Maude never said anything about me not supposed to be a sorcerer – only that you couldn't be a knight!"

Coram glanced back at the eagerly whispering twins. "What's the bettin' that they're plannin' somethin'?" he joked.

Maude looked at the twins before muttering "You'd be surprised." under her breath.

They reached the Great Road by midmorning. The servants backed away to give the twins some space but were stopped by Thom's announcement "Uh. There's been a change of plans…"

"Oh?"

"I'm going to the City of Gods."

"Is that so?" Coram guffawed.

"It is unless you want to see things for the rest of your life. You don't by any chance remember Godmother's ghost? Or the cook's lions?"

Coram stopped laughing and paled visibly. The afternoon the tarts went missing, the cook started to see large hungry lions following him about and Lord Alan never heard about the missing tarts. When the twins' Godmother came to snare the Lord as her next husband, she had fled after a couple of days saying that the castle was haunted. "Ye wouldn't."

Maude looked vaguely surprised but her eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Thom can't shoot for beans. Are you sure you want to serve him at court?"

Thom poked his tongue out at his sister before adding "And unless you want to humiliated by your lost cause of a master."

Coram turned to Maude. "Are ye going to help me out or not?" he demanded.

Maude considered for a moment before asking Alanna " Will you still be going to the convent?"

Alanna nodded glumly.

"Well then I see no reason why Thom shouldn't go to be a sorcerer – it's not as if you wanted Thom to become a knight." Maude stated finally.

Coram turned spotty purple as Thom jumped around and yelled with joy while hugging a half strangled Alanna.

A/N: What do you think? Please review! And be nice because this is still my first attempt (and it probably shows lol!)