Disclaimer: I don't own Siayuki or any of the characters. Although, I do own Yumi, Nyo and Kosuke...Well, Kazuya Minekura can have Kosuke, he's odd.

FIVE

Flying Papayas

Yumi groaned as sunlight poured through her open curtains, shining brightly on her face. She pulled the sheets over her head and closed her eyes, trying to fall back to sleep.

"Yumi, wake up." Nyo whispered, shaking Yumi's shoulder in attempts to get her out of bed, "You have lessons today, remember?"

"Errmm…Do I have to go?" Yumi grumbled, sitting up.

Nyo nodded, "Yep…unfortunately." She sighed, "I'm going to be so bored today without you here." Her eye's lit up, "Hey, maybe I'll get Kosuke to take me to town."

Yumi laughed, "You should do that, he'd like it."

"Okay, then it's settled." Nyo said, smiling, "I'll go to town with Kosuke after I drop you off at your first lesson. Need anything?"

"No thanks." Yumi got out of bed and stretched, yawning, "What time do I start?"

"Eight."

Yumi looked at the clock, "Wah! I only have half an hour to get ready!" She rushed over to her closet and began looking for an outfit, "Why didn't you wake me up earlier!"

"I just woke up too, ya know." Nyo grabbed Yumi a t-shirt and a pair of jeans and pushed her over to the bathroom, "You get ready while I get me and you some food." She ran out of the room, smiling and humming.

Why is she always so happy when she has to go to the kitchen? Yumi thought as she slipped on a pair of black jeans. And why doesn't she just go to the dining room to get the food? She sighed and shrugged. Maybe the kitchen's closer. Oh well. Yumi put on a pink t-shirt and grabbed her brush.

"I'm baa-aack!" Nyo sang, entering the room with a tray full of food.

Yumi came out of the bathroom, "Thanks, Nyo."

"No prob, that's what I'm here for." She smiled and handed Yumi the tray, grabbing a bowl of cereal off for herself.

Yumi took a bite of her toast, "What lessons do I have?"

"Ummm…Cooking, Sowing, History, Gardening, Archery and Music."

"Oh joy." Yumi said dully, taking another bite of toast.

Nyo giggled, "You get a lunch break after Gardening though."

"I guess that's good." She sighed, "But why do I have to have music lessons? Do they expect me to serenade Hakkai on the violin?"

Nyo laughed, "Actually, that's probably why." She giggled, "Poor you."

Yumi finished off her second piece of toast and moved on to her cereal, "Well, at least I don't have to sow him a pair of boxers."

"And help him put them on." Nyo added, almost gagging.

Yumi frowned, "Don't even go there, Nyo, I lost my appetite."

Nyo laughed, "Sorry."

"Changing subject, what's my first lesson?" Yumi asked between sips of her orange juice.

"Cooking, I believe." Nyo rubbed her chin, "And then Archery."

"And where are these radtacular classes of mine being held?" Yumi asked, putting on a fake smile.

"Cooking's in the kitchen, and Archery's by the stables." Nyo informed her, standing up, "We better go now. I'll drop you off at the kitchen, and then I'll get Kosuke."

Yumi chugged down her orange juice and followed Nyo out the door and down the hall. Nyo lead her down a hallway, past the dining room and stopped in front of two stainless steel doors.

"Here we are, Yumi. Cooking class awaits you." Nyo smiled and pushed Yumi inside.

"Where's the teacher?" Yumi asked, searching the kitchen for an old man in a chef's hat.

"Over there." Nyo answered dreamily, pointing to a hot young man sitting at a table, cigarette in hand. His messy blonde hair fell across his violet eyes. He stood up, brushed his hair aside with a stroke of his hand and made his way towards Yumi and Nyo.

Nyo sighed, "Isn't he gorgeous?"

Yumi nodded, "Yeah, he's hot, I guess." She looked at him and then at Nyo, "Is he the cook?"

"Mhhm. He's Sanzo." Nyo blushed as he stopped in front of them.

"You're the princess, right?" Sanzo asked grumpily, pointing at Yumi with his cigarette.

"Yep. And you're Sanzo, right?" Yumi held out her hand.

He glared at her and ignored her friendly gesture, "Go sit over there so we can get this god damned lesson over with." He pointed to a chair by the stove.

Yumi waved at Nyo as she left the kitchen and made her way to the chair, putting on an apron Sanzo handed her, "What're we making?"

"You mean, what are you making?" He corrected, grabbing eggs, milk and butter from the fridge.

"Okay, what am I making?" Yumi asked, watching him get a glass bowl from the cupboard, placing it on the counter by the stove.

"Pancakes. Know how to make them?"

"What? Um…yeah, of course." Yumi raised an eyebrow, "Why pancakes?"

"Because I'm hungry. Now hurry the hell up and start." Sanzo commanded angrily, pointing to the stove.

"You know, smoking can kill you." Yumi commented as she cracked the two eggs.

Sanzo gritted his teeth, "Make pancakes or die."

Yumi sighed, "Alright already, I'm ma-"

"Shut up." He interrupted.

She shot a death-glare at him and began pouring flour into the glass bowl with the eggs. Stupid Sanzo, who does he think he is? He's only a stupid cook. Errr… Yumi thought angrily as she stirred the concoction of milk, eggs and flour.

Yumi placed a frying pan on the stove and poured five globs of pancake mixture in the pan, sighing, "There. Done."

"No you're not. They're not cooked." Sanzo said.

"Dammit, you're a hard ass-cook, aren't you?" Yumi yelled, swinging a spatula at Sanzo's head.

"Put that down, stupid girl!" Sanzo yelled, grabbing the spatula out of her hand.

"Hey, give that b-" Yumi stopped mid-sentence as smoke filled her nostrils, "Ahhh! The pancakes are on fire!" Yumi turned around to see the stove and wooden counter engulfed in amber flames.

"You idiot! You're going to burn down my kitchen!" Sanzo yelled, going to the sink.

" Hurry, put it out, ya brain-dead cook!" Yumi rushed over to the fridge and pulled out a jug of grape juice. She turned around, threw the grape juice on the flames and gasped at her mistake. Sanzo stood in front of the stove, gape juice dripping from his hair and clothes.

Yumi forced down laughter and grabbed a towel, rushing over to the sticky Sanzo, "I'm sorry, Sanzo." She apologized, trying not to smile.

He snatched the towel from her hands and wiped the grape juice from his face. He threw the towel at Yumi, "I'm taking a shower. Try not to do anything else, princess."

Yumi sighed and backed up into a chair, tumbling into a cupboard. A bag of flour wobbled dangerously near the edge over Sanzo's head and Yumi held her breath.

Yumi heard squeaking and looked down at her feet. A small grey mouse scurried under her legs, skinny tail whipping her foot.

"A-A-A-A," She stuttered, "A MOUSE!" She screamed, sending the flour toppling onto Sanzo's head. Yumi screamed again and ran over to Sanzo, yanking the bag of flour off his head. Sanzo stood up, shaking with anger.

"Oh, I'm so, so, sooo sorry. I didn't mean to have the flour fall on your head. It was an acciden-" She looked at Sanzo and snickered, "You look like a pissed off marshmallow."

He glared icily at her and coughed, flour billowing up into his nose, "A-a-ACHOOOO!" Sanzo sneezed loudly, pots and pans from cupboards beside him falling onto him. He screamed and covered his head.

Yumi stared at the apparently unlucky Sanzo man disbelieving. I better get out of here before Sanzo decides to kill me 'til I'm dead. Yumi thought as she made her way to the door.

"You're dead!" Sanzo shouted, emerging from the pots and pans.

"Sanzo, I said I was sor-AHH!" A fork whizzed past her head, sticking in the wall, "Hey! It wasn't my fault you sneez-EEP!" Plates flew at her, smashing against the door.

"Get…out…NOW!" Sanzo growled angrily, throwing a frying pan at Yumi.

Yumi ran to the door, dodging a flying papaya. The papaya hit the door, ricocheted off the fridge and smashed against Sanzo's head, knocking him unconscious.

"So much for cooking lessons!" Yumi said as she sprinted away from the possibly dead Sanzo and his possibly dead kitchen.

Authoress Notes: I just wrote this chapter yesterday while kagami-ryu was over. What oddness. Well, I dedicate the papaya that Sanzo threw to kagami-ryu, who gave me the idea for the papaya. Anyways, thank you, thank you, thank you for the amusing reviews. Hee hee.

september rain907: lol, Sanzo's not a maid, but he is a cook. The closest thing he'll be to a maid. Ha ha.

ilovesaiyukithemost: Oooo, I love your ideas. May be I'll include some of them in later chapters. Hmmm...actually, I already included the idea about the maids liking Sanzo. So, thanks for your wonderful ideas. They're all awesome. And don't worry about me putting in yaoi. I won't put it in. I don't write yaoi.