Writing on a Blank Slate
Disclaimer: CSI is not mine.
Rating: M for content of other chapters
Chapter 19: "We were a family."
There had indeed been an enquiry at the Las Vegas Crime Lab, which might have ended badly if Grissom, with his usual complete disregard for office politics, had been called to face it alone. Fortunately, since Catherine had been supervising Nick for most of the months leading up to his unexpected departure, she was also asked to talk to the board.
Having had advanced warning of this she had checked the personnel files and latest psychologist's evaluations of both Nick and Sara. It had always amused her that the Powers That Be seemed to be so concerned with the mental health of their employees.
Officially it was because they cared.
Unofficially, Catherine was of the more cynical opinion that it was because someone had figured out that CSIs knew a lot about both how to kill people and how to conceal the evidence, and it might therefore be a good idea to know if one of them was in danger of going crazy and putting their theoretical knowledge into practice.
Now, however, she turned her attention from speculation as to the true motives behind the psych evaluations and back to the three people sittingoppositeher.
"So, Ms. Willows, can you tell us what, in your opinion, was the catalyst for Mr. Stokes and Ms. Sidle's decision?"
"Well," she leaned back. "I guess you've read their psych evaluations. Nick's been under a lot of stress lately, and Sara's always been somewhat unstable." At their raised eyebrows she shrugged. "You did say you wanted my opinion."
"And we do. However, regardless of their personal circumstances, both Stokes and Sidle had worked at CSI for a considerable period of time. Ms. Sidle in particular appears to have been an unusually dedicated employee.
"And yet they both decided to leave without a word. Can you speculate as to a reason? A romantic involvement, perhaps?"
At that, Catherine had to struggle not to burst out laughing.
"Nick and Sara?" She shook her head. "No way. She's just so not his type. Besides, if they were going to give into temptation I think it would have happened before now."
Catherine, normally an astute observer of human nature, was in for something of a surprise when she caught up with the latest gossip.
"No, if you ask me, the person to blame for all of this is Conrad Ecklie." It took an effort, but she managed to suppress the urge to smile at that. Ecklie had dumped a lot of shit on her team over the years, and now his chickens were coming home to roost.
"Go on."
She leaned forward. "Criminal investigation is a high-stress job. We see the worst of human brutality every day: Rape, murder, blood and gore. There's a reason why we keep a psychologist on-staff. But your main support network is your team.
"You see each other every day, and you know no matter how bad it gets there's someone else who has seen worse and gotten through it. It's even more important when you work nights because it screws your social life. I'm the only member of my entire team who has anything approaching a home life, and, believe me, my daughter would leave tomorrow if she were old enough."
There were nods around the table. "Please, continue."
"Nick, Sara, Grissom, Warrick and I worked together for five years, and we were close – a family. Suddenly, Ecklie announces that he's busting us up. No warning, he just tells us he's splitting the team.
"Now, for me it isn't all bad. I get bumped up to swing-shift supervisor, there's a payrise, and the hours are a bit easier on my social life. I even get my own office, even if it is the size of a closet. But at the same time it was as though the rug was pulled out from under our feet."
She was surprised to feel a lump in her throat at the memory.
"It was a bureaucratic decision, and it felt personal, you know? This wasn't just one person moving on, this was our whole family being torn apart."
She fell silent, remembering, and the panel members exchanged concerned glances.
"It sounds as though this was quite a traumatic time for you?" one of them offered.
"It was," she replied. "For all of us. To be honest, I figured it was only a matter of time before someone quit or had a breakdown." She snorted. "Looks like that's exactlywhat happened."
"Indeed. Although I'm rather surprised to see that it's happened now, given that your team has been back together for several months."
"True." Catherine replied. "But it hasn't been the same."
She knew she couldn't explain to them the strain that the team was still under, the insecurity of living with the knowledge that they could be split up again at any time, and was glad when they didn't ask her to try.
"Thank you Ms. Willows. You've been most helpful."