Writing on a Blank Slate

by Firebird9

Start of the long prequel to Familiar Strangers. When Sara decides to wipe the slate of her life clean and start over, Nick goes along for the ride. NS. Spoilers to first few eps S6. COMPLETE.

20. Do you think it's my fault?

Writing on a Blank Slate

Disclaimer: CSI is not mine.

Rating: M for content of other chapters

Chapter 20: "Do you think it's my fault?"

Grissom was sitting in his darkened office with his head in his hands and his glasses dangling loosely from his fingers when Catherine knocked on the door. As was her habit, she entered without waiting for an invitation.

"Before you ask, I think we're off the hook."

"Do you think it's my fault, Catherine?" he asked instead, not looking up.

She sighed. Dearly as she loved her friend, he really was hopeless sometimes. Like whenever the world of emotions reared its ugly head.

"You mean Sara leaving?" He nodded and she shrugged. "Well, she did spend five years blatantly throwing herself at you."

"And I spent five years rejecting her."

"Yes," she agreed, "you did. Look, Gil, I'm not saying that you're responsible for her leaving, but I am saying that maybe if you'd acted on your feelings for her she might have stuck around."

"So it is my fault."

"No, Gil, it's not your fault. Sara…" she searched for the words, gave up and shrugged again. "Sara's Sara. And you're you."

They were silent for a moment. Catherine leaned back against the wall. Grissom needed to talk or he'd brood indefinitely; had probably already been brooding since the day he walked in and found those letters.

After a moment, he sighed and went on.

"Do you think she's with him?"

"You mean 'with' him, as in sleeping with him?" She shrugged for a third time.He seemed to be provoking that response tonight. "Anything's possible, but I doubt it. I mean, Party Boy Nick and Ms. Moody Sidle? I just can't see it."

"Don't underestimate him, Catherine. Nick's been through a lot: that can change a person. And even before that, he was always drawn to anyone hurt or vulnerable, and Sara…" He trailed off and finished softly to himself "Sara's so vulnerable."

Catherine stared in surprise. Was it possible that Grissom might have actually picked up on something that she'd missed? She drew a deep breath.

"Okay, come on."

He finally looked up.

"Where are we going?"

"Out. I'm buying you a drink."