(Plus I got one other review, but… never mind that)
That makes a grand total of four and a half readers! Let's celebrate! Okay, anyways, on to the next chapter!
Chapter 4: ThischapterisfullofplottwistylikethingsandothercharacterscominginandreplaceingcharacterswhoarebasedoffofpeoplethatiammadatwhenidecidetoremovethemfromthestoryplusreferencetoacartoonwhichmanypeopleknowofbutonlyinonelinelikeinfoolycoolywhichisactuallyfurikuriandwhichiwatchedalotinthestatesandlikedasmuchasExcelSaga!
(Or: The Paula Killers Chapter.)
It was midnight in Kong studios, the hour when shadowy figures could be seen slinking through the hallways and bizarre noises could be heard, like the screams of animals.
Oh wait, that was just Murdoc and his groupies.
Anyways, with the exception of the bassist, mostly everyone in the studio was asleep. Noodle was sleeping peacefully, dreaming of manga and martial arts, Russ snoring gently with a bucket of fried chicken at the foot of his bed, and 2D drooling on his pillow with a worn, eyeless teddy bear cradled under one arm. But there was one more person awake in the studio… a certain red-haired OC who was staring at the large TV screen as the ending credits of and anime show rolled.
"Fukaaaiii fukaiiiiiii mori something I don't know Japanese, la la la la la la!" the girl sang off-key as the show ended. "Noodle will be sorry she missed that episode. It was the best so far. I mean, I can't believe he loves the stupid schoolgirl instead of the really cool dead girl. I sure hate that girl in the green skirt. I wish I could just kill her"
"Speaking of kill…" said a feminine voice, and the authoress turned to see a figure standing silhouetted in the doorway. (A/N: I actually have no idea how this person's voice should sound)
"Who's there?" squeaked the redhead, turning slowly.
"It's me… the person you want to kill. I know what you've plotted against me you little brat"
"Ka… go… me?" The 14-year old asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No! The other one"
"AKITO"
"No, I'm a girl"
"Mai"
"No you dumbo! How long is your death list anyways? It's me! Paula"
"Ohm! Okay! Wait… Paula! I HATE YOU"
Paula stepped out of the doorway into the glow of the TV. "And I hate you. So I'm going to kill you the way you and the rest of that club kill me again and again"
"But why come after me? Why not come after the ones who STARTED the club? I'm just harmless member number 76"
"Because this is your fanfic," Paula said matter-of-factly, pulling a long wicked scythe from thin air.
Suddenly there was a yell and both females looked up to see two figures dropping down from the sky. With a loud CRUNCH, two girls fell from the sky and onto 2D (who had conveniently stepped into the room at the exact moment they fell on him)
"It's Amateur-san and Blueie-san!" the fanfic authoress yelled excitedly, running over to the two who were sitting nonchalantly on 2D's back.
"And I brought the 2D doll!" Blueie declared happily, producing a doll from her coat that bore a remarkable resemblance to the person that they were sitting on.
Murdoc stepped into the room, clad only in his underwear and socks. "What the 'ell's happening in here? And why have you put in two MORE psycho characters. What happened to Pa"
"DON'T SPEAK HER NAME!" Aishi yelled, clapping a hand over Murdoc's mouth.
Murdoc raised an eyebrow. "Mmmm mmm mmmmmm mmmm mm mmmmm mm"
"Don't ask, but she's not in this story. Anyways," the redhead turned towards Paula, "the Paula Killers are here now. And you better be afraid"
Grinning wickedly, Amateur grabbed the scythe and swung it. With a big spurt of blood, Paula's head hit the floor.
"Ding-dong, the witch is dead, the wicked witch is dead!" 2D sang, pulling an orange winter coat on over his pajamas.
Aishi stared at 2D. "Why are you wearing that orange hoodie 2D?" she asked.
2D words came out muffled by the fur-lined hood that obscured most of his face. Annoyed, Murdoc grabbed the scythe and severed 2D's head from his shoulders.
"Oh my god! You killed 2D!" declared Blueie, poking the severed head with a stick.
"I wanted to do that!" Amateur said, frowning.
"You wanted to chop his head off with a scythe"
"No, I wanted to say 'You bastard! You killed Kenny- I mean, 2D"
Aishi snapped her fingers and 2D's head flew back to his body. The vocalist pulled the hood off of his head and gasped for breath. "Wow! Being dead is WEIRD!" "What are we going to do with Paula's body anyways?" Blueie asked, kicking the headless corpse.
"You could give it to me," Murdoc said with a wicked grin.
"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" squeaked Aishi, throwing the scythe at the bass guitar player. "What would you want with HER body"
"Well, human sacrifices are always better than chickens!" Murdoc said sardonically, kicking the corpse with one grubby sock. "Oh," Aishi said, putting a hand behind her head and laughing sheepishly. "Right. I didn't think you'd do anything perverted with it, what are you talking about? He he he he he"
"Let's dump it in the landfill… no-one will notice or care." Amateur said, holding her nose. "Quickly, before she starts stinking"
"She stank when she was alive!" Blueie said with a wrinkle of her nose. She pulled on one arm of her 2D doll as she spoke. "I mean, she smelled like rotten skunk meat in the middle of 100-degree-heat"
"Well, imagine that multiplied by ten and that's how she'll smell if we don't get her outside fast"
"Well... who's going to dump her?" Aishi asked, looking around.
"Um, I just got back from bein' dead, I fink I can't lift anything for awhile." 2D said, rubbing his head. "B'sides, I had more people fall on me"
"Don't look at me," growled Murdoc.
"I'm not touching that!" Amateur and Blueie said in unison.
"Well then, who is?"
Russel grunted as he lifted the bloody corpse off of the ground. "Why do I get stuck doin y'all's dirty grunt work anyways? There is more to Russel Hobbs than a big body! I have a brain too, you know"
"Just shaddap and dump it," Murdoc said in his voice that sounded like a cheese grater. "And then I can go back to the 'Bago and get some serious"
"Please don't tell us the personal details of you and your groupies Murdoc!" Aishi exclaimed.
"I was going to say, 'sleep.'". Murdoc said flatly.
"Are you going to keep jumping to perverted conclusions like that Aishi?" Amateur asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Look at that cloud," Blueie said dazedly, pointing at a cloud drifting by over the moon. "It looks like a squirrel"
"Let me see!" the other two Paula Killers exclaimed, rushing over to look at the cloud.
"I think it's a banana," Aishi said, tilting her head sideways.
"More like a Smurf," Amateur said, scratching her head.
Russel, 2D and Murdoc looked at each other and shook their heads resignedly. "I'm goin' back to bed," the drummer said with a little sigh, having already dumped Paula's body and her head.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Murdoc said, shuffling towards the car park and his filthy Winnebago.
2D stared at the cloud that the three were making such a fuss over. "If ya ask me, it's more like a chewed-up piece of paper"
"Idiots of a feather flock together…" muttered Russ as he closed the door behind him . (No offense… if Amateur and Blueie become offended at being called idiots, I apologize!)
Aishi cleared her throat and prepared for another long-winded Author's note. "Well, folks, in this chapter, I-"
("Wait!" called a voice, interrupting the Author's note. "Noodle wasn't in this chapter at all"
Aishi looked around for the source of the voice. "Yeah, well, I did mention her for a line in the beginning"
"But we love Noodle!" the voice declared.
"Yeah, so do I, but I didn't"
"Why didn't you make Noodle kill Paula?" The voice continued, growing louder. "She should have killed Paul a instead of you OC's"
"Look, next time I get a chance I'll make Paula have a guitar duel with Paula, happy?" the authoress snapped,
searching for the source of the nagging, annoying whine.
"Thank you," said the voice, and disappeared.)
"Where was I?" snapped the irritable Aussie-Yank Gorillaz fan. "This chapter, I put in two characters and got rid of one! I got rid of Pandora for personal reasons which have been dragged into my fanfic and manifest as such, but I won't be blatantly mean or diss her online, I'll just leave it at saying I might not have her return to my story. I'm just not the type to be bitchy like that. Anyways,
I am happy that Amateur-san and Blueie-san gave me permission to use them in this (Paula—ed) up story of mine! I'd also like to personally thank my two reviewers Yumi-chan and Bloodshed Samurai for not running away screaming but instead ACTUALLY READING this, and for actually thinking that this bizarre little fanfic is funny for its random rambles. Please keep reading and reviewing as I write this, or else I have wasted about four hours of my life (one for each chapter I've written, as it only takes that long to write one… shows you how much dedication I have to my work.) Anyways, by god this author's note is getting long, so I'll leave you at that and Ja Ne until next time!"