Don't ask my why I wrote this, I don't even know why I wrote this. I guess I just really wanted to write a Potter fan fic, but I couldn't think of a plot. Hehe, quite amusing though. Anywho, I don't own any of the celebrities or fictional characters I put in this story. They're there just to make the story funny. I hope you like it, and please leave a review.

Oh, and it is rated Teen because Hermione says something a little inappropriate.

"All right then, I trust all of you have done your reading that I have assigned you?" said Snape as he paced around the room. "If you haven't, then I suspect you will have great difficulty with today's assignment."

Ron gulped.

"I am to pair each of you up with a partner, and you are to concoct a sleeping potion. There will be no grumbling or arguing about your pre-assigned partner. Now, let's get to it, shall we?" he said as he looked over the class. He whipped out his clipboard and started to read off the partners.

"All right, Harry Potter is going to be working with... Draco Malfoy." He could not have said that sentence any more colder.

The class started to murmur as the two rivals got up and headed towards the cauldrons in the back, glaring at each other.

"Let's see, Mr. Weasley, you are assigned with Dr. Phil."

"Oh boy," whispered Ron to himself as he slammed his head onto the table.

"And Miss Granger, you are with Napoleon Dynamite."

Hermione's jaw dropped like a brick. Her head slowly turned to look back at her partner, who, not surprisingly, was just sitting there with that famous mouth opened eyes half shut look. She could not work with him.

"Professor, I don't think it can-"

"SILENCE! I said no arguing Ms. Granger, fifty points from Gryffindor," sneered Snape.

Hermione sunk into her seat, very annoyed.

Snape named off the rest of the partners, and everyone headed to the back to get to work.

Harry and Draco said nothing to each other as they prepared their ingredients. "It says here that you're supposed to-"

"I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" snapped Draco as he chopped his roots.

"Fine fine, whatev..." said Harry as he just went back to his work.

Dr. Phil stood casually against the wall, observing how Ron was peeling the ingredients. "Gee, you sure are peeling those plants really hard, is there something you want to talk about? Something you want to get off of your chest?"

"No," said Ron bluntly as he shucked the plants even harder.

"Is there something at home? ...Something with your love life?" asked the Dr., trying to get Ron to come out.

"Look, I'd appreciate it if you would get to work and stop poking at my private life!" growled Ron.

"Look, you've got a lot of anger in you, and-"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

(Over at Hermione's table...) "Hey, can you get me my chapstick?" asked Napoleon, a blank stare on his face.

Hermione just pretended he wasn't there.

"My lips hurt real bad..."

More silence from Hermione.

"I think they're going to bleed."

Hermione blew her stack. She pulled out her wand, and zapped the lips right off of Napoleon's face. "THERE! ARE YOU HAPPY?" she screamed.

"Ms. Granger!" shouted Snape as he headed over to her table. "That was completely uncalled for! 100 points from Gryffindor!"

"Up yours!" She screamed as she pointed her want at his throat.

"Now Ms. Granger, I don't think there's a need to-"

"JUST SHUT UP! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU TAKING AWAY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" she screeched.

"Expelliarmus!"

Hermione's wand was blasted from her hand by Dr. Phil. "Now look Hermione, we can work this out, we just have to-"

"Petrificus totallus!" she screamed at him.

That was pretty much what triggered the events of that day. No one exactly knows what happened, but it was not pretty. The whole classroom was destroyed by angry students and the teacher suffered various broken bones. But, Napoleon got his lips back, and Dr. Phil was unharmed.

Wow, I pretty much made that one up as I went along. Hehehe, kinda fun to write though. Ok, just leave a review please.