Disclaimer:
There was a boy by name of Fowl
Whose Butler fit no mould
Mountain Trolls could disembowel
So Fowl could get the Gold.
So tell me then my readers dear
If I owned these two
What would I be doing here
Writing fics for you?
If they were mine I would command
Vast fortunes you'd agree
Yet Colfer's words do countermand
Fowl is not for me.
I still do not own the rights to Artemis Fowl.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update but the last two chapters were written in about two hours after a burst of inspiration so I really didn't know where to go next. Well here I go anyway...
Please review if you find mistakes, like the fic and so forth.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The elegant pianist's fingers rested for a moment on the keyboard, poised and ready. Eyes scanning his latest diary entry, Artemis Fowl the Second smiled in satisfaction. He was not flustered easily and already his mind had begun analysing the myriad possible reasons for his earlier absurdity. He should have been more careful, knowing as he did, that though his mind was perhaps decades beyond his peers, he was still otherwise prey to the hormonal afflictions suffered by every boy during adolescence. It was theoretically possible that his extreme reaction to Susanna Marie was due to the considerable disparity between his mental and physical age, perhaps all geniuses were thus affected. It was something he would have to research.
It would not be prudent for him to avoid Sue, it would reflect poorly on his parents if he did not seem welcoming of their guests and, more importantly, he would not be able to gauge the seriousness of his condition without testing himself in her presence. Intelligence was the key to victory in any situation, he would need to learn more about his adversary. She could not disconcert him with information he already knew. With that thought, he started up his Internet connection and began his search.
It didn't take long to unearth Dr Egan's records from Glasgow University. Artemis knew that Sue attended a prestigious private school as a day student. The Belmont House School had recently become co-educational, Sue was one of the first females to ever attend. It was a mere seven miles from the centre of Glasgow and was comprised of 350 pupils from the diverse age range of three through to eighteen. It was 'small private school with civilised values and behaviour at its core, where attainment was high, and, above all, where education and social development would flourish in a small, caring and personal environment in which each individual mattered'. Even better for Artemis, it was very easy to hack into.
*****
The vampiric grin encompassing his face faltered for a moment as Artemis scrutinised Susanna's records. She had already achieved SQC's in every subject offered by Belmont years ahead of her peers; she had the highest grades in the school's history for Mathematics and Information Technology. Her achievements were extensive and not restricted to the schools academic offerings, her extra-curricular activities ranged from drama and debating to judo and football. Was it possible that he had finally found a female who could hope to match his wit and intelligence? Admittedly he hadn't been searching but Sue was...perfect. Her beauty and intellect would complement his own genius; it was as if she had been made to fit perfectly into his life. Artemis was absent-mindedly staring at the picture of Sue in the news bulletin board. Her warm smile reached out to him from the monitor, welcoming and slightly self-conscious. It was as if gaining recognition for her accomplishments embarrassed her, she was so modest. So beautiful...
With a violent start Artemis realised how close he had come to that very loss of control he had resolved to eschew. His eyes narrowed in anger as he closed the files on his computer. What did it matter if she was both beautiful and brilliant, she was still in his way. Anything that threatened his self-control needed to be eliminated and since he could not actually harm the girl he would need to take measures to protect himself from her influence. He sighed in frustration; it would be judicious for him to refrain from being in her company for any length of time. If she affected him this way from afar, it would be best for his sake not too let her get too close. Juliet could divert her in other ways to keep her from his company, perhaps shopping in Dublin? As for himself, he had a criminal empire to maintain.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[SUE'S DIARY EXCERPT]
Dear Diary,
I was talking to Angeline and Artemis earlier (well the senior one anyway because Artemis Junior has yet to say a single word to me beyond 'greetings'). They seem like really nice people, I mean I'm actually starting to believe Papa could be right; maybe underneath all of that ambition the Fowls are quite decent. Papa's always been a good judge of character, I mean everything I ever read about them in papers has been negative and all but seeing them in person's a different matter. I'm not sure about Artemis Junior though, oh forget it, this is annoying, I'll just have to call him something different, Arty'll do for now, I'd better make sure I don't call him that to his face though, for some reason I don't think he's got much in the way of a sense of humour, probably won't like anyone abbreviating his name. He was really quiet all the way through the meal yesterday, barely looked up from his plate. I wonder if he's ok. It's probably because of us, I mean his father just came home after so long and he has to share his time with a total bunch of strangers. I'd be annoyed too. I feel quite sorry for him actually, he's going to be sent off to a boarding school soon. Papa always says that boarding schools are a bad idea. The parents never get to spend time with their kids, hardly the best conditions in which to preserve the family unit as Mr Browne would say. I mean, if you never get to know your parents you can't really learn to appreciate them right? In my case I guess I was quite lucky that Belmont became co-ed in time for me to attend, at least I get to go home to him everyday. I think especially since Mother passed away that it would have really hard for him to come home to an empty house every day. At least with me at home, I can make sure he doesn't get so caught up in his work that he forgets to eat. Poor Papa, he's been so lonely lately, I'm glad for his sake that his friend's alive and well, for Angeline's sake too, I'll bet she can relate to how he feels. I feel awkward here, there's no one for me to talk to, they've got this girl Juliet, apparently she's their Butler or something, she seems really perky but we haven't talked much and Arty (calling him that makes it seem like we're actually friends or something) went straight to his room after dinner. I just sat there in the lounge while Papa talked with Artemis. You know, I still feel strange calling them by their first names, seems a little disrespectful. Angeline asked me about my school and hobbies but it was obvious she'd rather be spending time with her husband. I asked her if Arty was feeling well and she became a little distant, I don't think she's particularly happy with him for bailing out after dinner. Just a sec, someone's at the door...
Cool. Juliet just asked if I want to go shopping in Dublin with her so I can't write any more at the moment. I was just reading my entry, how many times did I use 'I mean' and 'probably'? God, my English teacher would freak out if I handed in something like this, 'too many American programs' etc. Well I've got to go now. Tell you all about it later. Bye
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Author's Notes:
That's it for this chapter, Sue's entry really wrung me out and I need to get some air *rushes outside and takes deep breaths*. Now for technical details:
Belmont House School actually exists, it's a day school seven miles from the centre of Glasgow with about 350 students which recently became co-ed in 2001. (Check it out if you want.)
Mr Browne however is a fictional character (and yes I know I could have come up with a better name but so what!)
SQC stands for the 'Scottish Qualifications Certificate' taken at the age of 16, equivalent to the British GCSE I suppose. (I did my research! Aren't you proud of me?)
If you are having problems reading Sue's diary please remember that most people (not including Fowl) don't really bother with perfect grammar in their very personal work, besides it's on paper so she's hardly got a spellchecker!
Yes, I am aware that she's writing to the diary as if it is actually a person.
Please read and review
There was a boy by name of Fowl
Whose Butler fit no mould
Mountain Trolls could disembowel
So Fowl could get the Gold.
So tell me then my readers dear
If I owned these two
What would I be doing here
Writing fics for you?
If they were mine I would command
Vast fortunes you'd agree
Yet Colfer's words do countermand
Fowl is not for me.
I still do not own the rights to Artemis Fowl.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update but the last two chapters were written in about two hours after a burst of inspiration so I really didn't know where to go next. Well here I go anyway...
Please review if you find mistakes, like the fic and so forth.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The elegant pianist's fingers rested for a moment on the keyboard, poised and ready. Eyes scanning his latest diary entry, Artemis Fowl the Second smiled in satisfaction. He was not flustered easily and already his mind had begun analysing the myriad possible reasons for his earlier absurdity. He should have been more careful, knowing as he did, that though his mind was perhaps decades beyond his peers, he was still otherwise prey to the hormonal afflictions suffered by every boy during adolescence. It was theoretically possible that his extreme reaction to Susanna Marie was due to the considerable disparity between his mental and physical age, perhaps all geniuses were thus affected. It was something he would have to research.
It would not be prudent for him to avoid Sue, it would reflect poorly on his parents if he did not seem welcoming of their guests and, more importantly, he would not be able to gauge the seriousness of his condition without testing himself in her presence. Intelligence was the key to victory in any situation, he would need to learn more about his adversary. She could not disconcert him with information he already knew. With that thought, he started up his Internet connection and began his search.
It didn't take long to unearth Dr Egan's records from Glasgow University. Artemis knew that Sue attended a prestigious private school as a day student. The Belmont House School had recently become co-educational, Sue was one of the first females to ever attend. It was a mere seven miles from the centre of Glasgow and was comprised of 350 pupils from the diverse age range of three through to eighteen. It was 'small private school with civilised values and behaviour at its core, where attainment was high, and, above all, where education and social development would flourish in a small, caring and personal environment in which each individual mattered'. Even better for Artemis, it was very easy to hack into.
*****
The vampiric grin encompassing his face faltered for a moment as Artemis scrutinised Susanna's records. She had already achieved SQC's in every subject offered by Belmont years ahead of her peers; she had the highest grades in the school's history for Mathematics and Information Technology. Her achievements were extensive and not restricted to the schools academic offerings, her extra-curricular activities ranged from drama and debating to judo and football. Was it possible that he had finally found a female who could hope to match his wit and intelligence? Admittedly he hadn't been searching but Sue was...perfect. Her beauty and intellect would complement his own genius; it was as if she had been made to fit perfectly into his life. Artemis was absent-mindedly staring at the picture of Sue in the news bulletin board. Her warm smile reached out to him from the monitor, welcoming and slightly self-conscious. It was as if gaining recognition for her accomplishments embarrassed her, she was so modest. So beautiful...
With a violent start Artemis realised how close he had come to that very loss of control he had resolved to eschew. His eyes narrowed in anger as he closed the files on his computer. What did it matter if she was both beautiful and brilliant, she was still in his way. Anything that threatened his self-control needed to be eliminated and since he could not actually harm the girl he would need to take measures to protect himself from her influence. He sighed in frustration; it would be judicious for him to refrain from being in her company for any length of time. If she affected him this way from afar, it would be best for his sake not too let her get too close. Juliet could divert her in other ways to keep her from his company, perhaps shopping in Dublin? As for himself, he had a criminal empire to maintain.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[SUE'S DIARY EXCERPT]
Dear Diary,
I was talking to Angeline and Artemis earlier (well the senior one anyway because Artemis Junior has yet to say a single word to me beyond 'greetings'). They seem like really nice people, I mean I'm actually starting to believe Papa could be right; maybe underneath all of that ambition the Fowls are quite decent. Papa's always been a good judge of character, I mean everything I ever read about them in papers has been negative and all but seeing them in person's a different matter. I'm not sure about Artemis Junior though, oh forget it, this is annoying, I'll just have to call him something different, Arty'll do for now, I'd better make sure I don't call him that to his face though, for some reason I don't think he's got much in the way of a sense of humour, probably won't like anyone abbreviating his name. He was really quiet all the way through the meal yesterday, barely looked up from his plate. I wonder if he's ok. It's probably because of us, I mean his father just came home after so long and he has to share his time with a total bunch of strangers. I'd be annoyed too. I feel quite sorry for him actually, he's going to be sent off to a boarding school soon. Papa always says that boarding schools are a bad idea. The parents never get to spend time with their kids, hardly the best conditions in which to preserve the family unit as Mr Browne would say. I mean, if you never get to know your parents you can't really learn to appreciate them right? In my case I guess I was quite lucky that Belmont became co-ed in time for me to attend, at least I get to go home to him everyday. I think especially since Mother passed away that it would have really hard for him to come home to an empty house every day. At least with me at home, I can make sure he doesn't get so caught up in his work that he forgets to eat. Poor Papa, he's been so lonely lately, I'm glad for his sake that his friend's alive and well, for Angeline's sake too, I'll bet she can relate to how he feels. I feel awkward here, there's no one for me to talk to, they've got this girl Juliet, apparently she's their Butler or something, she seems really perky but we haven't talked much and Arty (calling him that makes it seem like we're actually friends or something) went straight to his room after dinner. I just sat there in the lounge while Papa talked with Artemis. You know, I still feel strange calling them by their first names, seems a little disrespectful. Angeline asked me about my school and hobbies but it was obvious she'd rather be spending time with her husband. I asked her if Arty was feeling well and she became a little distant, I don't think she's particularly happy with him for bailing out after dinner. Just a sec, someone's at the door...
Cool. Juliet just asked if I want to go shopping in Dublin with her so I can't write any more at the moment. I was just reading my entry, how many times did I use 'I mean' and 'probably'? God, my English teacher would freak out if I handed in something like this, 'too many American programs' etc. Well I've got to go now. Tell you all about it later. Bye
------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes:
That's it for this chapter, Sue's entry really wrung me out and I need to get some air *rushes outside and takes deep breaths*. Now for technical details:
Belmont House School actually exists, it's a day school seven miles from the centre of Glasgow with about 350 students which recently became co-ed in 2001. (Check it out if you want.)
Mr Browne however is a fictional character (and yes I know I could have come up with a better name but so what!)
SQC stands for the 'Scottish Qualifications Certificate' taken at the age of 16, equivalent to the British GCSE I suppose. (I did my research! Aren't you proud of me?)
If you are having problems reading Sue's diary please remember that most people (not including Fowl) don't really bother with perfect grammar in their very personal work, besides it's on paper so she's hardly got a spellchecker!
Yes, I am aware that she's writing to the diary as if it is actually a person.
Please read and review