Things Have Changed
Chapter One
Arrival
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The small, dark-haired woman approached the reception and removed her dark sunglasses.
Jean was working behind the desk and recognized her right away and nodded.
"He's already here", she said and smiled.
It was something so romantic and fascinating about this couple. Every year, in the middle of January, they stayed a weekend in this old Santa Barbara Bed and Breakfast – always in the same room. They never arrived or departed together, and they hardly left the room for the entire weekend.
Jean remembered her first year working here. She had started during the Christmas holidays when they had needed a lot of extra staff and stayed until the end of January. The owner had told her about the couple when the man had called to confirm the reservation. Such a mystery and no one had ever asked them about their arrangement – instead the guesses had become a game for the employees. Were they having a secret affair? Were they both married to others and only met once a year? And why this weekend? Were they celebrating some kind of anniversary? Maybe they even were a married couple and just pretended, playing some kind of game?
Unable to stop herself she suddenly asked the woman.
"How come you meet here like this every year?"
The woman had been about to turn around, eager to make it upstairs to the room, but she stopped and looked at her with a sad little smile.
"We like this place… I think we were happy here." She turned around and walked towards the stairs.
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She knocked on the door and heard his footsteps as he came to let her in. As always the sight of him made the memories come rushing over her. Not all good memories but then he pulled her into his arms and all she could think of was that he smelled just like he used to.
She was here… He had been here two hours and had already started to worry that she wouldn't show up this time. He had taken two of the small whiskey bottles from the mini bar and poured himself a drink, sitting down in the armchair by the window, admiring the sunset.
He put his arms around her and pulled her inside, remembering the first time they had spent in this room. It was a long time ago now – and even though he had had doubts being with her here that time too, he had still been happy. More happy than he had wanted to admit to himself when everything went crazy just months after.
She leaned back and moved a hand to his cheek. Some more lines in his face… He looked tired and worn down but his gaze when his eyes met hers had the same fire as always and she pulled him down for a kiss. She smelled the whiskey on his breath and smiled. He usually got here before her, and he had told her how he always sat in the dark worrying that she wouldn't come. But she always did. How could she stay away?
He let her go and closed the door. He saw her looking around the room to see if anything had changed. It hadn't. The same curtains, the same paintings, the same carpet… Time seemed to stand still in this room. But then she saw the small lamp on the bedside table and smiled and turned to him. He was smiling now too - last year they had broken the old lamp…
"A drink?" he asked and she nodded. His voice still made her weak in the knees and she took off her jacket and kicked off her shoes as he opened the mini bar and took out another miniature bottle.
"You look good, Nina!" he said and handed her the glass.
She took a sip and sat down.
"What have you been up to?"
She laughed. "Don't ask, Jack… You don't want to know!"
He sat down too and smiled. "No, I guess not…"
They sat in silence and watched the sunset, drinking and finally relaxing. When the sun disappeared in the horizon the room got dark and when he had finished his drink he got up and walked over to her.
He pulled her out of the chair and led her to the bed, starting to undress her as they walked. Her hands found the buttons of his shirt and she quickly peeled it off his shoulders. He pushed her back and she landed on the bed and he joined her, his hands moving over her skin, finding all the familiar places that made her whisper his name and moan with pleasure and she pulled him closer.
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They finally realized they needed to eat and he reached for the phone to call room service. She watched him order and then got up to go to the bathroom.
Naked she watched her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She was getting older - she would turn 43 later this year. Sometimes she felt even older but she knew she looked younger. But her body had marks and scars and it felt old and tired now, even though his touch had made it come alive earlier tonight. She looked at the jacuzzi and the memories of what they had done there made her smile.
They really had been happy here.
She got one of the robes in the bathroom and went back into the room. He was sitting naked on the bed. He had poured them both another drink and he smiled when she took it from him.
"You never used to drink, Nina… I don't think I ever saw you have more than a glass of wine!"
She sat down next to him and tasted the drink. "That was when I couldn't afford to lose control, Jack… Now I think I drink too much…" She took another sip, feeling the alcohol and realising she would get drunk if she didn't get anything to eat soon.
There was a knock on the door and she went over to let room service in.
Jack, still naked, went into the bathroom.
The waiter smiled towards her and rolled the cart inside the room. He pulled out a wine opener and opened the bottle offering her to taste the wine but she shook her head. She was sure it was fine. He poured two glasses and put the bottle back on the cart. He waited for her to get her bag and she gave him a nice tip knowing from the girl in the reception's question when she arrived that they were remembered and talked about here. She was grateful for him not asking any questions, and looked at his name tag: Tommy. She remembered him from last year.
He thanked her, and with "I hope the meal is to your satisfaction", he left.
She looked at the plates and realized how hungry she was and she leaned forward and took an asparagus tip and tasted it as Jack came out, also wearing a robe now. It was getting a little chilly in the room – they had left the door to the balcony open and he closed it. The nights were cold here this time of year.
"It looks good" he said and moved up behind her.
"Mmm", she nodded and took a bite of the bread he brought to her lips.
"How's the wine?"
"I haven't tasted it yet" she answered and he gave her her glass and raised his towards her.
"To what, Nina? Memories?"
She raised her glass too and nodded. "The good memories…" she said and their glasses touched before they drank.
It was an excellent wine.
They ate in bed, finishing the bottle and talking about safe things. Politics, places they had visited since they last saw each other, how nice it was to be back here… They could easily afford an even better hotel now, they had joked about this before, but still they always returned here. She had once talked about it being a risk but he had convinced her they would never search for them so close to LA.
He was getting tired, the long drive to get here taking its toll on him, and he leaned back against a pillow. She took the plates and put them on the cart.
She crawled up in bed next to him, looking at him, wondering what his life really was like now. So many years on the run… Was he getting tired of it? Did he regret his decision to choose life and eventually the money?
He knew what she was thinking. He could practically read her mind now. He remembered how she had seemed like such a mystery to him. For years he had been wondering what went on inside her mind but that night in Jakarta had changed everything. No more mysteries – just Nina… and it had turned out he had always understood her - he had just refused to acknowledge it.
"Is it worth it, Nina? Does it get easier?"
She looked at him. "It gets easier… but it's never easy. But isn't being alive worth it?"
He raised his hand and tugged at the cord holding her robe together. He managed to undo the knot and the robe fell open and he looked at her, desire welling up again.
"This is worth it, isn't it Nina?" he asked quietly. "But what if I need more? What if I want to be happy?"
She let the robe fall from her shoulders and leaned forward, her hands cradling his face. "Do you think we deserve to be happy, Jack?"
He looked into her eyes and shook his head slightly. "No." He looked down and his hands moved around her waist and he pulled her over and down into his lap. Opening up his robe, he positioned her so that he could enter her and as she sank down he leaned forward and closed his lips around a nipple.
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