Chapter Nine

Catherine held tightly onto Warrick's hands. Too tightly, perhaps, considering the golden band on his left ring finger, but she was willing to let that slide for the moment and it seemed he was, too. She'd been on her way to find him, needing him on a new case, and had spotted him out of the corner of her eye as she rushed past the break room, staring listlessly out the window. He hadn't even noticed she was in the room until she had sat down across from him and taken hold of his trembling hands.

Catherine studied Warrick's expression, feeling tears start to well in her eyes, just as they were in Warrick's. He looked utterly hopeless and it was breaking her heart. She hadn't seen him like this since…

"I think I broke him."

Catherine's eyes widened at the words. "Who? Warrick, what's going on?"

He didn't need to respond. The look in his eyes was enough. Catherine's lips parted in a little 'o' of surprise. "Warrick," she breathed. She needed to know what was going on, right now. She immediately thought about how hard she had been on Nick, and became instantly worried about him. Guilty about the way she'd spoken to him earlier.

Warrick seemed to be looking past her, over her shoulder, out the window again. "I ruined him, Cath," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Catherine swallowed the lump in her throat. "What are you talking about?"

It took him several minutes, but Warrick eventually spoke. Catherine listened silently, her eyes growing progressively wider, as he relayed the events that had just occurred. She nearly fell out of her chair when Warrick told her that he had hit Nick.

"Warrick," she said, but didn't know where to go from there. She didn't need to scold him, he looked miserable enough already, but she couldn't help thinking about the position he had put himself in.

"What were you thinking?" she asked.

"I wasn't."

Catherine stood and started to pace in the small room. "You could be suspended. You could lose your job over – "

"You think I give a damn about my job right now?" Warrick asked, voice cracking.

Catherine's pacing and thoughts both came to an abrupt halt, and she brought her hand up to her mouth. "Oh, God. Nick." She sank back into her chair. "What did he do?"

"He just…left."

Catherine tried to give Warrick a comforting smile but couldn't be sure how it actually came out, and patted his hands, which were still clasped on the tabletop in front of him.

Warrick looked up at her as though he'd already forgotten she was in the room. He looked around the room, eyes wide. "I gotta go find him, Cath." He pulled his hands away and quickly got to his feet. "I have to fix this."

Catherine thought about stopping him, about telling him that maybe Nick just needed some time, immediately feeling utterly disgusted with herself.

That was thing they had been refusing to admit all along, and now it was coming back to bite them in the ass.

The hallways were a dim blur of florescent light and speckled linoleum. The lively chatter of the lab techs and seemingly constant ringing of phones and beeping of pagers were reduced to a dull roar of background noise as Nick moved through the lab like he was on autopilot. It was taking no effort on the part of his brain to navigate the halls; his legs were working on their own. His mind was…somewhere else.

It seemed empty. Nick wasn't making any kind of conscious effort to keep any thoughts at bay, but it was happening all the same. All he was focusing on was the fact that he had a job to do. He'd already kept Hodges waiting much longer than he had intended.

Several people smiled, waved, or said 'hey' as Nick passed them and somehow, Nick managed to acknowledge every one. He walked straight to Hodges' lab station and stood at the other side man's desk, staring at the top of his head.

"About time," Hodges started as he noticed Nick's presence and looked up. He stopped and laughed. "What happened to your face?"

Nick unconsciously brought his hand up to his jaw line, feeling the tenderness there, the start of an angry bruise. He hadn't thought about that, about the physical evidence he couldn't ignore or hide.

"I fell," he said. It was only half of a lie.

Hodges rolled his eyes. "I bet." He rotated the computer monitor and pointed to the screen. "Treads look like they came from a large vehicle, probably an SUV…"

Nick squinted at the computer screen, trying to put the characters together. Hodges was still talking, but Nick didn't hear any of it. His hand was still cupping his cheek, and he winced at the pain when he moved his jaw.

"I fell."

Was he ever going to stop doing this? Was this his life now, going to work and pushing people away and lying and working and losing sleep and working and working until he finally, mercifully hit the bottom? He wondered how long it was going to take, because he wasn't sure how much longer he could do this.

"…ick. Nick. Nick."

"What?" Nick snapped.

Hodges raised his detestable eyebrows. "Well, now." He motioned to the computer monitor. "So, did you want me to print this out for you, or do you want to stare at it a little more and just hope that your brain magically absorbs it."

"Uh, print it out," Nick said, looking away. If he didn't start paying attention, people were going to think that he was crazy. Although, that would probably be better than what they were thinking now.

"Print it out, what?" Hodges asked with a smirk.

"Now."

"Alright, alright. You CSIs are so pushy."

Nick took the pages from Hodges, managed a 'thanks,' and went to find an empty workroom. He needed to go over them, since he hadn't heard anything that Hodges that said beyond "large vehicle."

The first thing Sara noticed was the way Nick was practically slumped over on the table, holding his chin in his hand. It was a stupid, seemingly insignificant thing to notice, but Nick was a sit-straight, stand-tall kind of guy.

She knocked lightly on the doorframe but Nick didn't turn around, or even look up. She walked up behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Nick?"

He flinched away from her touch and faced her with a look in his eyes that caused Sara to take a step back. He looked as though he thought she might be someone that was going to hurt him. He looked like he was waiting for it.

Nick's hand slipped from his face and Sara's jaw dropped. She gaped at the sizeable bruise forming there.

"Nick, what happened?" She placed a couple of evidence bags, clothing and fibers she had collected from the hit-and-run victim in the hospital, on the table.

There was that trademark crooked grin, but it seemed forced. "Ah, nothing, Sara. Just me being graceful, as usual."

"Okay…" Sara wasn't entirely convinced, but if there was one thing that she had learned this week, it was that she couldn't force Nick to talk about something he didn't want to. She nodded to the bags next to her. "Catherine called me and said to hand this stuff off to you."

"Thanks." He looked back at the paper in his hand.

Sara played with the tape on the evidence bag closest to her. "What did you do?"

"Hmm?"

"Well, if Grissom and Catherine pulled us off of the case to make you work it alone, you must have done something to piss them off." She was teasing, but there was absolutely no reaction from Nick.

"They're not making me, I asked to do it," he said in a flat voice, still staring at the same spot on the same page.

Sara frowned. "Are you coming down with something, you look a little…"

Nick turned wearily to face her, and she was amazed how down and tired he looked. Just a couple of days ago, he'd been laughing and joking and full of energy, eager to dive headfirst into their case. Somewhere, something had gone wrong.

Sara sat down next to Nick and gently pulled the report out of his hand. "I'll help with this, okay?"

Nick shook his head. "No, I got it." He reached to get the paper back.

Sara held it close, playing keep-away. "Nick – "

"I can do this, Sara." It was the first thing he'd said since she entered the room that had any kind of emotion behind it, and there was no mistaking the emotion he meant to convey. He was angry.

"Okay." She handed the report over to him. "Don't be afraid to get me of you need some help, okay?" She motioned to the bags. "There's not a whole lot of evidence here."

Nick clenched his jaw and nodded. The clenching caused him to wince, but Sara acted like she hadn't noticed.

She backed out of the room and turned at the door.

"I'm not afraid," she heard Nick mutter as she started down the hall.

I am, Sara thought.

To be continued...