Things Have Changed
Chapter Four
Remembrance
------
Usually he never wanted to talk about Mexico. Dreaming about it every night was enough, he had told her once. But this year it was different.
He brought it up during dinner at a seafood restaurant they had been to several times before. They had ordered but when the food arrived they were both disappointed. It just didn't taste as good as it used to.
Jack shrugged and suggested that the restaurant had changed owners.
"Or chef..." she added with a smile.
The wine bottle had been almost finished when he suddenly seemed to recall how they had met in Mexico. He talked about kissing her - and of how he at the time had been disgusted with himself for enjoying it. He understood himself better now.
She smiled when he leaned over the table and kissed her, just to prove his point.
"See? I'm not disgusted at all", he laughed, a bit drunk, but then his features hardened and she knew he recalled the bad things, the things he never wanted to discuss. The things he had only mentioned to her in a whisper in Jakarta.
::::::::::::
Only in the dark, with his face hidden against her chest had he finally been able to tell her just why he had come for her, why he now understood her fully, and even though forgiveness wasn't in his heart he had no hate left. Or the hate had found another target - himself. She had thought he had plans to kill himself but he threw her own words back at her. He would do anything to stay alive, death was not an option - not now, not then, not ever...
She had kissed him and told him he could be forgiven. The circumstances were not the same, forgiveness was possible for him - the ties were strong between a father and a daughter, but he had just shaken his head. She had felt his tears against her skin and kissed the top of his head, holding him tighter before she moved against him and tried to heal him with her body, with her touch.
::::::::::::
"Jack, you've had too much to drink..."
"So have you..." he said with a smile. "I need to remember Nina... That's why I meet you here every year. To make sure I never forget..."
She knew this already but still she couldn't help but feeling a little hurt. And why did she come here?
"I thought you didn't want to remember everything…"
"Tonight I do…" He poured the last of the wine. "I come here to remember" he said, almost to himself, and in his mind he finished the sentence: and to not loose control over you...
He had never told her how he felt satisfied in knowing that once a year he knew exactly where she would be. It gave him power, a little control over her after all, and just knowing what he could do with this information was enough to easy his conscience some days. Maybe he would work up the courage this time? But he was too unwilling to end the game…
He reached across the table and took her hand. Tonight he really did want to remember everything and he wanted to know if she remembered everything just as well as he did… Did what they went through together still mean anything to her?
He asked her if she remembered Amador's deception, the bomb, how she had tried to run and she nodded and smiled. "Of course I remember, Jack…" she squeezed his hand. "How could I forget?"
::::::::::::
After the bomb had exploded and Ramon had screamed and accused them for setting him up he had pushed them into the remaining vans. Sitting in the van with Ramon and hearing about how CTU had picked up Amador with the virus Jack had felt relieved. CTU were down here after all and they must be looking for him – they could still find him... Hopefully Chase had managed to escape. Hopefully Claudia was safe.
But his hopes faded fast as they were driving far away to a hideout he never even heard of and when Ramon turned around and aimed his gun at his head he was sure it was over. He protested – He hadn't contacted CTU. He hadn't known they were down here. He laughed at Ramon's question if Nina was an agent and told him everything she had done and how much he hated her. Wasn't that a proof of his loyalty – he had been willing to work with her to help them get the virus…
Ramon didn't believe him – but he didn't kill him. They had arrived at the hidden ranch and perhaps Ramon just didn't want to get blood all over his van?
Pushed outside he glanced over at Nina being taken out of the other van. He was kicked to his knees and he just stared straight ahead now. Fighting was useless and his only chance was to stay alive long enough for CTU to find him.
He didn't want to anger Ramon more, so when Nina started running he had stayed put, pretty sure they would shoot her in the back, and him too, if he tried to run. But they just brought her back, kicking and fighting. He had almost smiled. She never gave up, did she? But then Ramon hit her over the head with his gun and she fell to the ground.
Ramon turned away and walked up to Jack. Was he going to hit him too? Jack steeled himself for a blow that never came.
"Is she dead", Ramon asked one of his men and the man leaned down over Nina's body.
"No, she's breathing…"
Ramon smiled towards Jack, suddenly holding his gun out to him. "Jack, do you want the honours? Do you want to kill her?"
Jack just looked back. He didn't move. He knew Ramon well enough by now to see that he was only playing with him.
Ramon threw his head back and laughed.
"Lock them up in the back… Let's see if they will kill each other!" He laughed again as he watched Jack being pushed forward and two men carried the unconscious Nina. They were taken to the back of the house to a storage room.
And here they were… locked into this place and at any time Ramon could decide that he didn't need them anymore and they would be shot.
Jack sat down leaning back against the wall.
He watched Nina lying on the floor. She hadn't moved. He looked around the room but his eyes soon returned to her unconscious body. No movement yet... Was she even breathing? He stared at her chest to see if it moved but it was to dark in the room to really be able to tell. He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes. The image of Nina, very much alive and kneeling in front of him, surprised him and he opened his eyes again.
Still no movement from Nina…
"Dammit", he said out loud before he got up and moved over to her. Standing over her he still couldn't see if she was breathing or not. He leaned closer. "Nina?" He touched her shoulder. "Nina…"
When he saw that she was breathing he told himself that the relief he felt was only because she might be useful to get out of this mess.
He was about to stand up when she stirred. Her hair fell out of her face and he was staring at her face like he was in a trance. Like this she didn't look hard, evil or jaded. He remembered her this way in his dreams… no matter how much he hated her during his waken hours in his dreams she was always his companion, his lover. He resisted the urge to touch her cheek, even if he tried to tell himself it would only be to make sure she was able to breathe freely. She would be fine…
But his hand touched her nonetheless. It combed through her hair until he felt the bump made by the butt of Ramon's gun. No blood but there could still be haemorrhaging inside her head.
He backed away from her and sat down again. If she didn't wake up soon he would try and wake her.
There was no way out. He knew Ramon and most of his men well and knew they would never let him live now. They had used him for as long as they needed but he was of no further use to them.
Jack glanced over at Nina again. And why was she still alive? Did it amuse Ramon to have him locked up with the woman he knew Jack hated more than anyone? Ramon's laughter echoed in his mind. He was a cruel man, enjoying this turn of events very much and he would make sure someone paid for his brother's life…
Nina moaned and he looked over to her. She opened her eyes and moved her hand up to touch the bump on her head. She groaned from the pain when she touched it and tried to sit up. Confused and disoriented she looked around the room and saw him.
"What happened?" she asked when she had managed to sit up against the wall.
"You got whacked over the head" He said dryly.
"I can figure that out, Jack. Where are we?"
He stared at her. "We are locked up in a storage room on one of Salazar's ranches…"
She really looked very confused and he had to ask her what she remembered.
"I remember running", she said "I guess I didn't get away…" Again she touched her head. "Why are we still alive?"
He shrugged. "Ramon probably thinks it's funny… But don't worry, we won't be for very long…"
She stared at him and suddenly he felt so angry. He was stuck here - with her… He would probably die here – with her.
::::::::::::
------
