Pippin and the Cheez-Its

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

One day, Pippin was strolling along in the Shire when he came upon a box of Cheez-Its. He ran over to the box, but as soon as it was within his reach, another hand snatched the box away. He looked up and saw that a young human boy of about thirteen had grabbed the box and was shoving handfuls of the Cheez-Its into his mouth.

"Hey!" Pippin exclaimed, "That's mine!"

"I got it first," the boy protested.

"But I saw it first!" Pippin retorted.

"Too bad. The Cheez-Its are in my tummy now."

"Gimme the box!"

The boy turned the Cheez-Its box over to the side that stated "GET YOUR OWN BOX." Suddenly the kid, whom we shall call Peter, began feeling around in the box for something; Pippin stood silently, watching him. After about two minutes, Peter pulled a Golden Ticket out of the box.

"Hooray! I got a Golden Ticket!" he shouted gleefully.

"What does a Golden Ticket have to do with Cheez-Its?" Pippin asked.

"I don't know, but maybe I can get a lifetime supply of Cheez-Its with this thing!" Peter mused.

"Hey! Gimme that! I want a lifetime supply of Cheez-Its!"

"No! It's MINE! It's ALL MINE!"

"But I saw the box first!"

"Okay, let's go to the Cheez-Its factory and split the prize."

"Okay."

So Pippin and Peter spent the next two days walking to the Cheez-Its factory. When they got there, they marched up to the front entrance and announced their find.

"We are here to receive our lifetime supply of Cheez-Its!" Pippin proclaimed to the closed front door.

Anonymous Factory Worker #1 (AFW1) opened the door and told them, "We don't give out lifetime supplies of Cheez-Its."

"But we found this Golden Ticket, and we've come to claim our prize," Peter explained, waving the Ticket in the air.

AFW2 appeared and told them, "We don't give out Golden Tickets; someone must've put that in the box to fool you guys."

Pippin and Peter began to cry, so the workers gave each of them a lifetime supply of Cheez-Its. This made them happy. Sauron, however, who'd watched the whole scene from behind a rock, fumed with rage.

"THE PLAN HAS FAILED!" he shrieked, killing all living things with in a two-mile radius. "NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SPREAD UNHAPPINESS AND MISERY THROUGHOUT MIDDLE EARTH!"

Just as he screamed this thought, a new plan entered his mind…

FIN.