Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Woo! All of those who reviewed are amazing :)

---

During the funeral session, Raven had stood at the other side of the casket, listening as each of her friends came to say their good byes. Despite herself, she couldn't help but feel more and more tormented by each comment, by each look of regret and sadness her friends gave to her motionless body. "I'll find a way to come back." She told each one, her hands clenched tightly to her sides.

Beast Boy was the last of the group.

He shifted uneasily on his feet, trying his best not to run from the figure before him. "Ra—Raven…I know I got on your nerves. I…I…really cared about you thou---" His words trailed off.

"Its alright." She told him. "You're a good frie—" Even if he couldn't hear her…saying the words comforted her somewhat. Seeing the happy boy so unsure…so despairing…it shook her up.

"This…is my last chance I guess…but…" His words cut her off, his face screwing up with determination. "I—I...thought you should know…I love you."

I love you.

For a second, time stood still. He was staring down at her dead body…she was staring over at him. Did he really just say that? She watched as he stumbled down into a chair, as he looked completely torn apart. Was it really possible? Even if she was dead to them…even though she was hearing things they probably wouldn't tell her if she had been there…a whisper of a blush appear on her face.

My first 'I love you,' and I'm dead to hear it. Her mind was only able to come up with one singular comprehendible thought. The rest was thrown in confusion. This was greatly unexpected.

"Hey…BB…" Cyborg sat beside him, breaking her thoughts. He tentatively placed something into Beast Boy's hands. "I thought you might want to keep it. She was wearing it." Raven shifted positions, seeing the changeling clutching the very beads that had been the cause of this all.

He was stared at the piece for a moment, and then slipped it on his own wrist. "Thanks. I really did…"

Cyborg gave him an understanding smile, patting him on the shoulder. "I know. I'm sure she heard you."

If they only knew.

Shaking off what had just happened and deciding her funeral was hardly the place to think over such matters, her mind shifted to the team as a whole. Raven…did not like…how tired...how worn away they all looked. Such reactions…if she had really died…might have been touching, knowing how important she was to all of them. Seeing them this way, not being able to tell them she was okay…it frightened her.

She bent down at her tombstone, her finger trailing the words etched into the surface. "A Great Titan. A Greater Friend."

There has to be a way to come back…

She wasn't able to watch as her casket was slowly put into the ground…she didn't want to be there as the dirt filled in the hole. Flying high into the sky, she made her way back into the tower…back to her room. The silence clung to her, burrowing deep into her flesh. A few days ago she died. And now she wanted to perform a resurrection.

---

She looked at the book sitting at the corner of the table. Using all the strength she had, she willed her powers to move it. "Azarath…Metreon…ZINTHOS!" A dark circle appeared around the object…concentrating, the black void moved to the right….and the book stayed behind.

Raven didn't move. She didn't get frustrated. She simply took another breathe and tried again. Over and over…she had started this several hours ago…and no success. A part of her almost believed she saw the pages fluttered…but it was only the trick of the light. Finally, she got up. "This is pointless." She muttered to herself. "I can't touch anything."

Deciding she needed a break, the girl left the room. Hearing a creaking sound down the hall, she instinctively flipped her hood up, staying in the shadows. Not that they could see me either way. Through the corridor came both Robin and Starfire.

"I do not like this feeling." She was saying, both of her arms tightly grasping one of Robin's. Her voice was strained, and the red splotches suggested she had recently cried.

"I know…" Robin didn't appear much better. "It's our job…sometimes this happens." Raven didn't move as they passed straight through her. She swung around, a hollowed feeling developing in the pit of her stomach.

"But..." Starfire said, her words lost as they turned the corner.

In the living room, the mood was little better. Beast Boy had one hand up, flipping through channels in slow determination, his eyes staring vacantly forward and his face twisted in an I-refuse-to-cry expression. Cyborg was sitting up at the bar attempting to eat, but kept pushing food around his plate.

"I suppose I came at a bad time?" Raven said out loud, the sarcastic remark coming automatically. She winced as those words left her mouth…she was the bad time. Floating over to Cyborg, she watched as he meticulously began cutting his food into smaller and smaller pieces. Beast Boy was little better.

"If only…" She looked at his wrist, where the beads still hung. Although they were the cause, she didn't know how to use them to reverse what had happened. And the first problem was that she couldn't even touch them to try. She reached out one hand, resting it over the beads, grimacing as once again they went through. Beast Boy, however, twitched his wrist, rubbing it with the other hand as though he was cold. Did he sense her? Even a little bit?

"Beast Boy?" She asked. "Beast Boy?" Her voice became higher. "Can you hear me? Please…" Nothing. Her eyebrows furrowed and she reached out, her arm going through his head. It wasn't much…but he did shiver. Great…I can make him cold. At least…it was some reminder that she was there.

Being so close to him…the words from earlier ran through her mind. He loved her. How it was possible, she didn't know. The two of them were on friendly terms...but she never expected…She had never given the two of them much thought…she hadn't given relationships in general much thought. It wasn't that she didn't care for him…feeling something twist inside her, she dropped her gaze, feeling embarrassed. Even if he couldn't see her, even if she was dead to him…she was feeling rather exposed at that moment.

Backing away, Raven decided this wasn't the time to think about things like that…she had more important worries. Like trying to prove to the Titans she wasn't dead. And so far, there didn't seem to be anyway in doing that. The only semblance of a reaction was…well…the changeling.

She was trying to remain calm. Raven was trapped in her spiritual form, and unable to do anything about it. She didn't need to eat or sleep. She didn't even need to meditate...In fact, if she wanted to, she could do pretty much almost anything and get away with it. Unless of course it involved touching something. Or anyone in particular.

"Well…I'm screwed." She sunk to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs. What could she do? There had to be something…anything…

---

It was hard to tell how much time was passing by. Raven became one obsessed, staying in her room majority of the day, trying desperately to knock the book of the shelf. It could have been weeks…or even months. She had to get out of this. She tried blasting it with her powers, to simply hovering her hand over it, willing herself to just brush the cover.

She left little room to think of anything else…if she thought too long she would think of the seriousness of her situation…or over the words Beast Boy had left her.

She shouldn't be mulling over such things at a time like this. In fact, his feelings ought to be the least of her worries. Yet still it remained, a nagging notion she wanted to think over.

I'm being ridiculous. I might be trapped like this and my first thoughts are over some hidden love.. She mentally chagrinned herself. If she left her room, she didn't like the sights she saw. Beast Boy rarely smiled anymore, looking constantly lost in thought—both qualities highly unusual for him. Cyborg tried to cheer the guy up, but he seemed still shaken by the lost of one of their fellow Titans. Starfire clung to Robin, spending the majority of her time at the tower since on most days she didn't have enough happiness in her for her powers to work.

This is my fault. She lay down on the floor of her room. Even though she could hardly have suspected this to have happened…the guilt lingered. Her friends were mourning over her...and she still remained very much alone.

She didn't like to think of her situation in that sense, but when you were never tired, never hungry, and had no one else to talk to…she had a lot of time to think. Not only did her friends think she was dead, but she was trapped, isolated from the world around her. She could scream, cry, blast everything around with her powers…and no one would notice. So she didn't dwell on that notion too long, instead trying to focus only on the problem a head of her—how she was going to get out.

Her loneliness was becoming more and more apparent. She had always been a withdrawn person…but this was a whole other extreme.

Sighing, she was about to start her efforts in moving the book once again…when the door to her room creaked open. Blinking at the sudden change of light, she was surprised by the interruption. No one had entered her room for some time now—except Cyborg on occasion who would clean the dust collecting on the shelves and the floors. She recalled each incident very clearly, remembering her desperate attempts to get him to open the book, to get him to flip through the pages. It was a useless endeavor …but she had to cling to whatever hope she had.

The changeling was the one at the door. He looked around uneasily, as though he knew he shouldn't be here…but despite that, he strolled in and stood in the middle, once again lost in whatever thoughts he may be having. This could be her chance. Floating to the changeling, she flew directly through him, watching as he tensed up a bit, running his hands over his shoulders.

"Beast Boy! Its Raven!" She yelled, flying through him once again. "Please…you believe zombies run the supermarket—believing that I'm still here shouldn't be that difficult!" Raven felt her desperation rise as he shook off the uneasy feeling, walking over to the windows and looking out.

"Raven…"

"And the likely hood you are actually referring to me is…." She muttered, flying to his side. "Beast Boy!" He suddenly shook his head.

"You really are gone, aren't you?" He said quietly, the cracking in his voice causing Raven's heart to flip flop. It was the same tone he had used when he confessed to her dead body…

"No…I'm alive…" She said evenly, her mind going back to the words he said before. Each time…it was like she was seeing him in a new light. One hand reached up, passing through his shoulder.

"Gah, I'm such an idiot." He suddenly stormed out of the room, going right through her in his passage to the door. Her gaze followed him, distracted by her own twisting emotions to have the energy in following him.

As much as she didn't want to think his confession over…the very fact the thought was still on her mind was proving something.

Sitting down, she took a deep intake of air. She wasn't one to admit she might have feelings for anyone—not even to herself. So, he loves me? I never asked for that kind of attention. Her darker side immediately scorned, thinking of all the times that the two grated nerves…but…there was that nagging feeling that made her think again. They…were complete opposites, true…but…was that a bad thing?

What did she think of him?

The tightening in her chest. The fact she had always been the happiest around him…well as happy as she could get...it was like walking out of a dream as the realization hit her. "I…care about him." She murmured to herself, the words not sounding quite right. Was it more then that? It was hard to tell…whatever the feeling was inside her, it was something that had been growing, so slowly that she had never even realized it was there…something she had never really paid attention to…that is until he said those three words.

Did she…could she even…love?

---

Beast Boy walked out of Raven's room, glaring around at nothing in particular. What did he think he'd accomplish by going in there? She was gone now…but…it had happened so suddenly he still didn't want to accept it. He was regretting things he never had the chance to do…all the moments that they would now never have. He'd be content just hearing her make fun over something he did. Anything…But…the thing he regretted most…was never telling her how he felt.

"Not that it would have made a difference." His face fell. They shared a teasing and be teased type of bond…and there had been only brief moments that suggested she might care for him more then beyond simple friendship…Shaking his head again, he forced himself not to dwell on the past. Nothing could be done now…

He just couldn't help how much he missed her.

---

After some time, Raven abandoned her idea of moving the book. Unless someone accidentally knocked it over and just happened to come to the right page…it was a hopeless task. Giving up it though…was a hard blow to her moral. If she couldn't move the book, that increased her chances that she would stay this way…permanently.

There was always the constant itching in the back of her mind, the wanting of someone to notice her. She never craved attention, but now that she was without it entirely…she missed everyone. She missed everyone so much. Seeing them trying to confront each day, watching them as they slowly forced themselves to go back into the schedule with out her in their lives…it really hurt.

It wasn't like they had forgotten her…but they were moving on. Slowly, they were returning to their normal lives. She…should be glad for them.

Starfire and Robin's relationship was budding at a faster rate, the two being drawn together by her death. Just last week she caught them stealing a kiss in the hallway, before hurrying about their business. It was a shy relationship…but it was there.

Cyborg continued to keep her room free of dust, but less for preserving her memory and more out of respect for what she had done for them during her time as a Titan. He and Beast Boy were back to playing games and arguing over breakfast…the tension of the household slowly breaking down.

Beast Boy…was holding on the longest. She saw him smile his first genuine smile…saw him make a halfhearted attempt at a joke. He still looked hurt…but the pain was subsiding.

Seeing them moving on…seeing them slowly go about their lives…it was hard for Raven. She knew she should be happy…but only being able to watch…knowing they were getting use to her not being there…it really hurt.

I don't want to be forgotten. She followed them around more, finding the only way to alleviate her loneliness was to be in their presence. They could never hear her, but that didn't mean she couldn't talk to them. They could never see her, but that didn't mean she couldn't react to their comments…it was the only thing keeping her from breaking down.

That…and her growing attachment to Beast Boy. She…was falling for him. When he finally smiled, she had felt relief that he was becoming more like himself.

And…even if he didn't know it was her…he still reacted when she touched him…This was the only proof that she still might be able to join their lives again. The only reminder that she truly existed. For awhile she tried to use this to her advantage, keeping one hand through his shoulder in hopes he'd think something fishy was going on…but although he shivered at first, it was not strong enough for his conscious mind to pick up, to even consider making a connection.

Raven had thought over the reasons why he reacted to her touch…she wasn't one to linger too long on the thought that it might be caused by his feelings for her. After much deliberation, she came to a logical reason. He transformed into animals…and animals were more sensitive with the supernatural…it made sense.

She was lingering in the living room, half watching Cyborg, who was busy making some minor adjustments on his canon when Beast Boy entered. He looked more shaken up in a long time, but still cracked a half smile before opening the fridge to get some food. The other titan stopped what he was doing, studying the boy for a moment.

"Hey BB—wanna play some Monkey Mayhem?" He called out cheerfully.

"Nah." The changeling replied, his voice slightly muffled by the food he was currently stuffing in it.

"Chew much?" Raven commented lightly, hovering behind him.

"You're just afraid I'm going to stomp all over you again…" Cyborg taunted. The boy twisted around, his expression turning cocky.

"There is no way you can beat me."

"Then prove it."

"…"

"Chicken?"

"Only sometimes!" The boy declared. "I can so take you any day of the week…just not this week." Beast Boy continued, his expression turning serious.

Cyborg let out a sigh. "I know…but you shouldn't still beat yourself over it—she wouldn't want you to." Beast Boy didn't say anything for a moment. "Come on—play some video games and crack a few of your stupid jokes—you'll feel much better."

"Tomorrow is…Raven's—it's hard to feel better." He simply said. Raven winced at the comment. Had it really already been one year? It...didn't seem possible. Walking out of the room, he paused, a glimmer of a smile back on his face. "And my jokes aren't stupid." Then he disappeared.

A year…it had passed without her realizing it. And…there was little hope she would be able to come back. Would she have to continue like this? Watching the others grow and change…while she remained timeless? Refusing to let herself continue those thoughts, she haunted the halls of the tower until discovering where Beast Boy had gone. It was actually to the roof, where the sun was just beginning to die.

"A year, eh?" The boy was murmuring to himself. "I...I still love her." Raven never more hated herself at that moment. She was causing him all this pain, over his infatuation…over her apparent death.

And…ironically he...was causing her similar pain. The growing feelings for him, after a simple confession a year ago…

Which was worse? Never knowing how the other person felt, and believing they'd never see them again? Or…possibly returning the feelings…and forced to watch the person day after day without him ever knowing…

It's impossible now…but…

She just sat next to Beast Boy, feeling comforted by his presence, and trying hard not to think of the future.

---

How time was still able to move…Beast Boy didn't know. He still remembered her so clearly…her calm voice, the occasionally smile she'd give. Had he really gone a whole year without it?

Sitting up on the roof, he watched as the sky gave way to the night, the stars shimmering above him. Even though she was gone, the feelings remained. Everyone was moving on…he knew he was too…but no matter how much the raw pain of losing her subsided, those feelings could never fully disappear.

He had never felt that way about any other person…including Terra. Terra…even before her betrayal…it was more of an infatuation then actual love. He couldn't deny he cared about her, but it was a simple crush on a girl who showed attention to him…and then there was Raven. She didn't shower him with affection, but each time he won that smile…each time that their glances connected…it was something more. He felt his face slip into a goofy grin as he thought back…that is until he was once again slapped with the fact he'd never see her again.

Beast Boy wondered if it was true, that if you are really in love, the feelings for that person would never diminish. A part of him wished he could take the aching pain away…but the rest hoped it stayed with him forever.

---

Again, she was in the cemetery, standing before her grave. An entire year. Nothing to show from it, other then a growing bitterness at her new found existence. And now that she knew how she felt, it made living this way all the more harder.

"I'm sick of this."

Rage building inside of her, she left the site, leaving her friends to say what they want. She couldn't handle this right now. The proof of her death was right there and she wanted nothing more to do with it.

Back to the Tower—back into her room. She looked around, at the comforting reminders of what all had been hers when she was still there. And then…she snapped. She couldn't touch anything, but that didn't stop her from enveloping everything in black. If they could have been affected, her entire room would have been torn apart. Despite it accomplishing nothing, she kept at it, hurling wave after wave of dark energy before finally falling down to the floor.

She was biting her bottom lip, her hands forming fists on the ground. In all the time she had been like this…in all the time no one knew she was there, she had forced herself to be strong.

Now unwanted tears filled her eyes as frustration over took her. She hated crying—it was a sign of weakness, a sign of uncontrolled emotions. But now she sat in the darkened room, her body wracked with sobs she had been holding an entire year. There was no one coming to comfort her. There was no one coming for her at all. No matter how she felt, no matter to whom she felt for…

She was alone.

---

As usual, if you'd like me to continue, please review!