Disclaimer: I don't own teen titan
AN: Well, once again…Terra haters are not going to like me in this chapter...but what happens here really does help build the plot so nicely….but again I have to promise this will be Raven and Beast Boy!
A big thanks for everyone that Reviewed last chapter!
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"So, everything is cool with you and her now?" Cyborg had pulled Beast Boy over to the side one day, noting that the two were now laughing and playing video games together.
Nodding, Beast Boy gave him a thumbs up. "Yup—I guess I can't hold a grudge forever." Grinning, he added. "Besides, you know girls can't resist me." He paused, as though realizing what he just said. "Um, not that I'm interested in her at all, because I am so not, but—"
"Hey, hey, I gotcha." Cyborg waved off the other's ramblings. "I think its good—So far she's been completely clean, so letting by gone be by gone…" Cyborg had set up sensors in the girl's room before she officially moved back in, specifically designed to pick up any odd communication devices…you could never be too sure.
Beast Boy grinned once again. After finally making up with Terra, it was almost like it was so long ago. Except they were only friends. Raven would always be the one holding his heart---but it was nice to have a girl who paid so much attention to him. Like Terra.
With those thoughts in his mind, he waved to Cyborg, heading back into the living room where Terra was waiting.
---
It seemed the slower she willed time to go, the faster it went. Once Terra and Beast Boy became friends, it was only a matter of time before it would continue to grow. Terra was subtle—she stuck with the friend role very well. But as time went on…it was becoming more and more obvious she wanted to be more then just friends with Beast Boy. And Raven could do nothing to stop it.
Cyborg wasn't helping it either…he had lately been spending an awful lot of time in his room. And when Raven 'spied' on him, she discovered he seemed to be communicating to someone rather frequently. It was never visually, and he kept whoever it was rather cryptic information, even when writing. While suspicious, she respected his privacy and didn't actually read what he wrote. Not that he would ever know she was there even if she did.
Still, with him busy, it left only Terra and Beast Boy.
On this particular day, they were playing Go Fish, each staring down the other in furious determination. Go Fish was really not a two person game, but they were managing quite well, having more competition in spirit then in actual cards. "Have any queens?" Beast Boy raised an eyebrow.
"Go. Fish." She said, smiling evilly.
"Dang it!" He cried, pulling a card. A wide grin erupted on his face as he slammed down all four queens. "The cards love me." He gloated.
"Quite the charmer, eh?" She laughed at him, touching his hand lightly with her own. Raven watched the hand like it was a snake about to attack, burying its fangs deep into Beast Boy. He hardly blinked. "If you haven't noticed—I am still winning."
"No you—wait…" He counted the piles of completed sets of cards she had versus the amount he had. "Only by one! And it's still my turn." Raven knew he had 2 nines and 1 jack in his hand. Terra had the other three jacks, one eight, and a king. "Do you have any…." He looked back and forth between the two options.
"Say Jacks." Raven told him, hovering beside him. Her fingers brushed the hand that held the Jack. They moved slightly, and he studied the cards carefully.
"…Jacks?" He asked. Terra groaned and handed him the three she had.
"You cheated." She accused. Puffing up, he smiled once again.
"It's all luck." He said.
In the end, he still lost…but it made Raven feel a little better having helped him. In a game of cards. While he and Terra chatted so warmly.
Alright, it didn't help at all.
Constant hidden flirting. Constant touching. Just light nudges between friends. Beast Boy wasn't taking it to mean more. But it felt like Terra knew exactly what she was doing.
---
Terra stood in front of the mirror, doing her best to brush out her long hair. A smile played on her lips as she deemed herself acceptable, heading for the door. Tonight, she was going to make her move.
Beast Boy had been the first person to ever understand her—to ever be willing to be anything more then just friends with her. He had been her first crush, her first best friend, her first family. And now, while older….he was still at times the same awkward boy that had handed her the jewelry box all those years ago. The same one who helped her fight Slade's control.
Raven's been gone for almost 4 and a half years now. She thought in her head. Raven was still on his mind…she had talked to him about her on more then one occasion, and she knew that he had loved her. It made her jealous that the brooding girl of her memories somehow earned his love…but…at the same time it made her feel bad that he was in love with someone who could never return it.
I want him to love me that way…she couldn't help but think. When the two of them were together, she felt she really belonged somewhere…and if she could earn his feelings as well, then maybe she could help him finally move on from Raven.
The door slid shut behind her as she walked down the hallway. Beast Boy was making some tofu sandwiches in the kitchen, and didn't even notice as she entered. "Feel like making a hungry girl some as well?" She asked, sitting at the counter. He laughed.
"Tofu dinner, coming up." He said, and busily made some more. She watched him, her eyes following as he spun about the kitchen, making the food.
"The Clash of the Planets is coming on at 9—wanna watch it together?" Terra asked as he set the plate before her.
"Seriously?" He asked excitedly. "I'm so in!" Beaming, Terra lifted up her whole plate, shoveling the sandwiches with determination in her mouth. Blinking as he watched her, he shook his head. "Dude, I have no idea how you can eat like that."
---
Beast Boy plopped onto the couch, Terra sitting next to him. The TV sounds flared in the room as the opening theme of Clash of the Planets rang out. He was completely absorbed in the movie, his mouth slightly opened as he watched the scenes unfold. He knew exactly what was going to happen. He knew every line, every stance…but whenever he watched it, he was once again sucked into their world.
It was only at the end of the movie that he noticed Terra had scooted closer to him. He was already at the end of the couch, so he decided not to comment. Maybe she got scared. He reasoned with himself.
Once it ended, Terra stretched out her lanky form, and looked over at him. "You know, you look like a zombie when you watch TV." She poked him in the side.
"I dooooo not." He said, as he plastered a zombie look on his face, holding his arms out like one possessed. She laughed at him, grabbing both of his cheeks and pulling them out.
"Much better." She snickered. He responded by grabbing her own cheeks and pulling them out as well, causing her to gain a similar goofy expression. They stayed like that for a second, before they both let go, laughing at one another. "Did you ever hang out with Raven like this?" She suddenly asked. Immediately Beast Boy felt himself somber up.
"No—she didn't like these kind of movies." He said after a moment. "She wouldn't have watched it with just with me either."
"Oh." Nodding, Terra just continued to look at him, her blue eyes reflecting oddly in the glow of the television. "I like hanging just with you." A faint blush spread across her face, a similar one on his own.
"Yah, I'm glad we are friends again." He said hurriedly, hoping to change subjects quickly. She didn't seem to have that in mind however.
"Would Raven want you never to move on?" Her voice was quiet, but with intention.
"Wh-what are you talking about?" He stuttered, her question catching him off guard. She simply smiled, looking down at her hands.
"I'm willing to wait for you." Why am I blushing? He yelled at himself. At his distraction, the girl suddenly leaned in and kissed him straight on the lips. Bounding to her feet, her grin still remaining on her face as she looked on at his confusion. "Just think it over—goodnight!" And she vanished.
For several minutes, he just sat there, completely stunned. Did she…did she really just… "What just happened?" He moaned, putting his head in his hands. I love Raven! He told himself—and he knew it was still true by the way his heart fluttered and the way he felt sick at the fact he had kissed someone other then her—even if it was really the other person who had kissed him.
But there was a tiny voice inside of him that was beginning to grow. Raven was gone…and what Terra said made sense. Would Raven want him to never move on?
He didn't want someone else…he wanted her. But...she was gone.
"Terra is just a friend!" He said to the darkness. Things had just gotten too complicated for him. Sleep. He told himself. Tomorrow this will just be some weird dream.
---
Terra didn't just do that. She couldn't have. That girl…She…how could she? Raven felt herself become angry, and was doing her best to calm down. Beast Boy hadn't initiated it. Terra did. That didn't mean he liked her.
That didn't mean that she had been forgotten.
Again and again the girl was reminding her how useless she was… If Raven was there…none of this would happen. If she was there…She backed up slowly, out of the room, out of the Tower completely. For awhile, it was just her staring at the window, watching the glow of the TV pour out…until finally it was turned off, returning the world into darkness.
Beast Boy would be going to his room. He'd be thinking over what had happened, becoming more and more confused. There would be questions if holding out on Raven was worth it…since she was after all dead. And Terra was very much alive. Terra would probably be smiling her cocky smile, hugging the stupid little box he had given her, thinking it was only a matter of time. Cyborg might catch hints what was going on, but he was too busy with his own life to try and stop it—in fact, he might encourage it.
Why should Beast Boy be putting his life on hold for someone who wasn't alive? For someone buried deep in the ground…for her? They didn't know she was trying so hard to come back…they didn't know how hard it was for her to keep hoping that one day she would return...How hard it was for her to keep thinking that she would have a place even if she did. How hard it was for her to actually feel for someone so much and never be able to tell him.
Raven flipped up her hood, finding comfort in the shadows of it, even if it did no good. It was just a kiss, initiated by Terra. That didn't mean it would lead to anything.
---
The next few weeks Beast Boy did everything in his power to avoid Terra. If she came into the room, he'd scramble some excuse together and leave. If they all went out to eat, he would be the first one done and leave just Terra and Cyborg to finish. His mind was a complete mess and he wasn't sure what to think anymore.
He still loved Raven. Everything in his body told him that was true. For some reason, that made him feel better. Terra had kissed him, but his heart was still Raven's. A part of him told him he should talk to Terra about it, get things straighten out—tell her that he just wanted to be friends with her and nothing more. But…the little voice from before kept nagging him…the little voice that told him that maybe he should give this a chance…that maybe he should let Raven go.
But I don't want to do that! He protested to himself. He wanted to hold on to Raven forever. You've held on for so many years…she'd want you to find someone else. The other part of him reasoned. "This is ridiculous!" He cried, laying back on his bed. Every night it was a constant struggle.
A loud knocking sound on his door interrupted his thoughts. Panicked, wondering if it was Terra, wondering what he should do, he just stared wide eyed at the door, praying that she would just leave. That she'd think he wasn't there. That—
"Yo BB—its me!" The deep voice was a welcome interruption to his thoughts. Flinging off his bed, almost tripping in his haste, he swung the door open.
"What's up?" He asked, trying to look completely calm and collected. And of course it being him, he failed miserably.
"Well, I was hoping you and Terra would sort out whatever it is that happened by now, but seeing as that you haven't…I thought we'd have a little chat." His friend grinned at him.
"I-its nothing." The changeling stuttered.
"I've known you forever." The other half smiled, raising one eyebrow. He walked into the room, sitting on an idle chair. "I'm waiiting." Crossing his hands, he looked at the other in mock impatience.
"Geez…" Beast Boy muttered, sitting on the edge of his own bed. Still…it would be nice to get his point of view. Maybe he could help him figure out what to do. "Alright—this happened awhile ago, but Terra and I were watching Clash of the Titans. After the movie, she started asking if Raven and I did stuff like that, then how much she enjoyed hanging out with me. A-and after that she asked if Raven would want me to hold on forever and that she was willing to wait…then, dude…she kissed me! Right before running out of the room." His words came out fast, almost garbled in the speed he was trying to get them out. Cyborg seemed to catch all of it though, and just nodded, a smile playing off his lips.
"You having girl troubles—that in itself is hilarious." He snickered.
"Heey! I really need help here!" Beast Boy waved his hands, glaring at the Titan.
"Alright, alright—well, what do you think of her?" Cyborg asked.
"She's nice and all—but I love Raven."
"Well, in general—even if you start having a relationship with someone else, a part of you will probably always love Raven…that doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold." Cyborg told him.
"Bu-but—" Was he saying he should move on? That he should possibly even try things with Terra? Or? Questions spun in his mind, his confusion written all over his face.
"It really depends on if you are ready to do that." He finished. "I'm just saying it won't lesson your old feelings for Raven any by developing new ones for another person…it has been a long time B—I'm sure she would have wanted you to be happy."
"But how am I supposed to know if I'm ready?" He muttered darkly.
"That's all you man." Cyborg shrugged his metal shoulders.
For awhile neither of them said anything. Beast Boy was mulling over what the other had said, and Cyborg just seemed lost in thought. Finally, in an effort to break the tension, the green boy asked. "Since when have you been so good at giving advice?" A slow smile developed on his lips as a thought crossed his mind. "Cy has a girlfriend! Cy has a girlfriend!" He cried out, earning a half angry, half blushing expression from the metal man.
"Whatever dude—and even if I do its none of your business."
"You've been spending an awwfulll lot of time in your room lately. You've been writing to someone…" He wagged one of his fingers at his friend.
"You know—" The older Titan looked like he was about to say something, then suddenly changed his mine. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't." Cyborg puffed, and then walked out of the room.
Maybe he really does have a girlfriend?
---
She had already seen this…she knew what was coming, and yet for some reason she couldn't tear herself away. It was like watching a badly done movie, where no matter how much you complain, you still find yourself watching until the very end.
After talking with Cyborg, Beast Boy's confidence seemed to be boosted. Of course…since she was gone, it would be wise for him to move on. Everything his friend said made sense…everything from their point of view. And Raven's hardly mattered anymore. She didn't matter.
"Hey Terra?" A few days later Beast Boy went up to the blonde haired girl, apparently having decided to confront the issue head on, instead of simply skirting around it like he had done earlier. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Sure BB." She smiled up at him, following him up to the roof. The roof that Raven use to come to on a regular bases to meditate…if he was up here, then she was on his mind. That made her feel a little better. Even if Terra was there as well.
"Alright, you know what happened a few weeks ago." So far he was holding out strong, although he looked down at his feet as he said that, an embarrassed expression running across his face.
"When I kissed you?" She leaned over to look him straight in the eyes, grinning a bit as he squirmed uncomfortably. Terra…was certainly forward…she knew what she wanted and was doing her best to get it.
"Y-yah." He stuttered, then suddenly moved to the edge of the roof sitting down so he could look out into the landscape. "I-I've been thinking a lot over it." Even Raven wasn't sure what he was going to say…he had been sitting on his bed, just staring up at his wrist, playing with the beads that Cyborg had given him the day of her funeral. He'd pull them, letting them snap back to his wrists with a gentle thwap…as though deciding with each pull whether or not to let her go…whether or not it was time to move on.
"I don't want you to decide right away." Terra interrupted him, sitting down beside him. "Look…you've been through a lot. I…I just really like you. I know Raven will always be apart of you, but…I want another crack at winning your heart." Her words sounded clumsy as they rolled off her tongue…but they were honest. Raven hated how honest they were.
Terra…really did have feelings for Beast Boy. And Raven…really was gone.
Beast Boy didn't say anything for awhile, swinging his feet back and forth as he seemed to think over what was just said. "Give me more time to think." He blinked, as though surprised by his own words.
"Sure." Terra nodded. "But…you think we can still hang out while you think things over? No matter what, I want to still be friends." She admitted. "It makes me feel like you hate me all over again."
He snickered at her. "Who says I don't?"
"I do of course." She winked at him, which earned both a laugh and half a blush from the changeling. "Well, I'm going back inside—I got some laundry to do. C'ya!" She saluted to him, and then headed back in.
Beast Boy just remained where he was, looking still confused, but, at the same time…with a new realization. "What should I do?" He murmured into the wind.
"Wait for me." Raven said instantly…then stopped. Was it fair for her to say that? Beast Boy deserved happiness…and she didn't even know if she could ever come back. She should be glad for him…shouldn't she?
Then why did it feel like her entire reason for trying to come back was slowly melting away?
---
Cyborg sighed as he sat in his room. What if Beast Boy started snooping on him? And figured out what was going on? Shaking his head, he decided his curious friend would probably not even think about doing that. Not when he was so occupied in trying to figure out what to do with Terra.
"I hate drama." He shook his head. Flicking on his computer, he watched as a little message popped up at him, telling him he had two new messages. Quickly, his eyes flickered across the screen as he read, deleting them both when he was finished.
They were just telling him what had been going on—how her day had been, and what her numbskull partners messed up this time. Nothing that interesting. Why then did his heart refused to slow down? Glaring about the room, he repeated his earlier statement. "I hate drama."
---
Sometimes, it takes only a small thing to happen to trigger an entire calamity of events. Like the extra long gaze at a person sitting down the table to make you feel gushy inside. Or watching a bubble pop to make you feel like nothing in this world matters. That is what happened to Beast Boy.
He was sitting in his room. It was only a week away until the day Raven had died. Terra and him hung out as always, but he kept it strictly as friends, and she hadn't pushed the matter, holding true that she wasn't going to rush him.
Every night he thought over what he should do. Terra…really did care for him…she was trying her best to become a better person, to make up for all the things she had done in her past. She laughed, joked, played all sorts of games with him…if he really tried, he probably could fall for her again. But it wouldn't be the same.
She wasn't Raven.
Raven...was an enigma. She didn't show many of her emotions, but it made the ones that slip out of her all the more special…she didn't tell jokes, but her remarks were by far more amusing then most he'd come up with. Serious and stoic…opposite in him in every way. Yet…they balanced each other…he never felt more happy in his life whenever he saw her smiling. He never felt more depressed when sadness echoed in her eyes. It made him want to be there for her forever…but…she wasn't here anymore, was she?
She was gone. For five long years she had been gone.
What should he do? As he thought, he pulled the bracelet once again, this time a little too far then he should have. The fraying string that kept the beads in place snapped, the tiny balls pattering on his bed.
For a second he laid there, the broken string in his hands. A part of him was angry…he had broken the bracelet that she had worn. A part of him was sad…it was his memento of Raven. But most of him felt this was a sign. Carefully he gathered the beads, setting them gently on the table in his room.
It was time to move on.
---
Raven was following Terra around. Normally she'd choose anyone over the cheerful girl, but today…she felt like something was going to happen. And if something was going to happen, it was probably going to be with this girl.
Beast Boy appeared in the hallway, looking oddly shadowed in the light of the hall.
"Hey! I was just looking for you!" She called out to him. He didn't say anything, but gestured for her to come with him. "Um…silence really doesn't suit you." She remarked, but did as she was told. They left the Tower, going down by the rocks.
Raven didn't like this. He had always gone to the roof whenever he wanted to talk or think. Not the rocks. The rocks held more memories of him and Terra…and less of Raven.
There was a sinking feeling in her chest.
"I…I think I've thought things over enough." He said after a moment, facing the girl.
"Oh?" She looked at him expectantly, awaiting an answer.
"I will always love Raven…but…its been a long time." He began, his voice slightly cracked, but held surprising strength. "I…I think I'm willing to try things out with you. If you still want to?" The words were rushed, filled with doubt, uncertainty…but also hope.
She didn't say anything, just looking at him, a blush forming on her own face. A small smile appeared on her lips and she rushed over at him, leaping into his arms. "Most definitely!" Her face was lit up…she was so happy. And Beast Boy…was smiling as well. He had returned the embrace…and now…they were leaning closer…and closer….
Raven couldn't handle this. She couldn't watch. She couldn't see them...Turning away, she flew from the two, flying high up onto the roof. Unwanted tears were burning in her eyes and she was doing best to fight them off. This was for the best. He had chosen. He had chosen to give up her…and to move on to Terra.
Yet her pain at rejection…at being rejected simply because she wasn't there…it hurt. It hurt a lot. "Why?" She asked again and again. "This isn't fair."
For several days she couldn't muster the courage to leave the roof. She didn't want to go downstairs…she didn't want to see them. Not now. There was no reason to try so hard if all her efforts were just going to be in vain. This isn't like you, a part of her snarled. No matter what happens, you are still you—even if he has fully moved on. Her hope was gone though…the one thing that had been carrying her forward.
Finally…she pried herself from the tower. 5 years today. The Titans were leaving, heading to her gravestone now, to leave flowers and give their respects…and a part of her was wishing that Beast Boy would change his mind when he saw it, that he would realize he didn't want to let go just yet. Either that…or he would only be more certain of his actions.
Beast Boy was the last to leave, he wanting a moment alone before continuing. He knelt on the ground, one hand resting on top the cold stone surface. "Raven…I wanted you to know my feelings for you haven't changed…but—I'm gonna also try and move on. Terra really is a nice girl now—I think you'd like what she has become." He reached in his pockets pulling out something, setting it on top of the ground. "These belong to you." Standing up, dusting the dirt off his knees, he ran to catch up to the waiting group. Terra patted his shoulder, then reached down to take one of his hands…which he accepted gladly.
Raven looked onto the ground. The beads. They were set by her grave in a neat little pile. A sign that he was going to move forward. That he was no longer be contained by the past. That his love for her was no longer going to stop him from finding someone else. He really had let her go. She…was no longer needed there. She…had no reason for returning.
I'd be just as good staying here. She thought to herself. Staying by her body, in a grave that proclaimed to the world her death. Raven was dead. Maybe…it was time for her spirit to rest as well.
Time ticked by…Raven guessed it was probably closed to the time when she had fought the glow and the dark ball…all those years ago. If she hadn't of been caught off guard, she would still be here…she would…
Suddenly, the strangest feeling over took her. She felt like something was dragging her…down. Gasping, she struggled against it, as she was pulled into the depths of the earth. The beads that were sitting before her grave were pulsing with light, all five slowly coming together to form a circle around her. They vanished from view as her head was pulled into the ground.
It was dark wherever she was going. Her arms were suddenly clasped to her sides, she turning horizontal as she continued to go down. Suddenly, she touched something cold, a feeling of being drenched once again overcoming her. For a long time nothing happened, when she felt a ripping pain in her heart. And then…she opened her eyes. Her real eyes.
Raising one hand up, it came in contact with something wooden. All around her came the earthy scents of the ground, as well as a particular sharp odor that reminded her of something that had been rotten for a long time.
Gritting her teeth, another wave of pain hit her. She could audibly hear her bones stretching within her skin. She could feel her hair snake around her as it began to grow in furious determination. Her feet hit the end of the box she was in and she was forced to bend her knees to the ceiling as her legs grew in length. Finally it stopped.
Breathing heavily, confusion was washing away as understanding hit her. 5 beads. 5 years. Her body had grown five years in one instant. And she was in her grave. Feeling her body, her hands closed on loose tatters of the simple black dress the Titans had dressed her in for her funeral.
5 beads…5 years.
Slamming her head against the back of her coffin, she felt herself growing angry…frustrated. Tears were running down her cheeks unchecked and she couldn't do anything to stop them. Too late…this was all too late.
She was back, and there was no one left for her.
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Wooo…Tomorrow school officially starts and I really wanted to get this chapter done before then…so I apologize for any extra spelling errors then usual…
And after written all that Terra and Beast Boy stuff, I have to exclaim--- BEAST BOY AND RAVEN FOREVER!
Much better…
Please Review!