Razor's Edge
Once upon a summer's day/ the Halfa was whisked away/ and upon a silver shore he did stay/ until brimstone barred the way...
Danny Fenton slowly cantered down the street… pausing to consider what he had done during that day. He had offended Sam by defending Tucker, offended Tucker by defending Sam when he drooled at Paulina like an idiot, and had made a derogatory comment about Sam when Paulina came near. He had offended Paulina in that same breath, and had to defend himself against Dash. He stood up to Dash, and won easily. His ghost fighting had been paying off (A/N: I know none of y'all like to hear that, but eh… it's a good plot device. Plus it's the natural progression of things, and he's admittedly better looking that way.)
Thus he had assured himself that he would have at least a week of his friends not talking to him. And then, Jazz had tried to psychoanalyze his actions, and he snapped at her, "Well, if I have schizophrenia, then you're mental as well- think about it… Dad and Mom are obsessed with ghosts, and you take to the Fenton Peeler like a ghost to ectoplasm. And, since you-know-what happened, I'm HALF GHOST" Thus, she decided to drive home. Luckily, no one was around. And now, he kicked the door as hard as he could, thus knocking it down. He stomped into the house and began up the stairs, until his parents came running at him. To preempt any questions, he spat the most vicious invective he could at them. You ever heard what they said about sticks and stones? That's only true with Marines, Machines, and Monks. And they don't fall for sticks and stones.
"Well if it isn't the pair of semi-necrophiliac idiot-savants who conceived me, and have wasted their lives finding something that doesn't exist, and, if it does, can't do a damn thing to anyone. The big fat one who can't do a thing right, and doesn't have an inner child- he is his inner child. And the idiot woman who fell for him, who was actually stupid enough to bear his children, who even has to clean up behind him."
As you can imagine, that sent them crying. Yes, he made Maddie Fenton cry. The phone rang, and, still blazing hot, Danny picked it up and said, "Hello? Which one of the dishwater crapbags that we call people is this?"
Rather annoyedly, Mr. Lancer said, "I'm your teacher. And lead disciplinarian. And-"
At that point, he was cut off, as Danny began, "Oh… This is the fat, stupid, hairy, lonely, bald loser that believes he controls something, but has absolute crap compared to even the lowliest of students, because his authority has been shattered by my parent's embarrassing him, and his poor starting position due to his piss-poor appearance, and horrible fashion sense."
At the other end of the line, there was a stunned silence, and a click. He was still simmering, and wanted something he could beat the living crap out of. His ghost sense went off, and he grinned. He transformed and leapt at the box ghost, pinning him to the floor. He saw tangible fear on his face, and grinned all the more evilly… all that was missing was blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, and he could've been Hannibal Lecter. He stuck his mouth inside that of the Box Ghost, and unleashed the Ghostly Wail, and he looked like he was ripping apart at the seams. He was blasted into oblivion, and Danny's last thought was, What in God's Green Earth is wrong with me?
When next he awoke, he was in the grasp of Vlad Masters. He smiled at Danny, who was restrained like the aforementioned cannibal, albeit Hannibal's restraints never glowed green like these did. Danny struggled, and roared, and eventually managed to transform. Vlad took a step back, and had a brummagem look of horror on his face. He was, in reality, greatly surprised, but he'd never let Danny know that.
"Oh my, the person with over twenty less years of experience than me is about to attack me from inside restraints. Oh the shame. Oh the horror. It is actually an achievement that you've managed to transform over the effects of the Plasmius Maximus. You, however, will most likely not be able to use any of your powers for an hour, at least, so I'm not worried."
"Oh whatever shall I do… The bitter old fart who was too much of a loser to take a little ecto-acne is in possession of me for a whole hour. Not to mention the fact that he's still too dumb to actually build anything, he's got to buy it. He's so much of a loser that he actually has to resort to petty thievery on an unprepared world to win anything. He's so insane that he actually holds a grudge against someone too stupid to check his calculations before he plugs something in. He's too much of an Alzheimer's patient to remember that the love of his life is married, or even change something that would blow up his ancient castle… Or even guard against the separated spirit of his archfoe!" He wobbled as he said that, as if he'd just let a curse fly in a coven of nuns, or a Christian monastery. No… More like he'd just let the code to a top-secret vault slip.
"Ooh, Daniel, what was that last one? You separated your halves? Come now, don't leave us waiting." He decided he would screw around with Vlad's head. His face gained a haunted look. He looked up, eyes gaunt. "I saw a future… One wherein I was dead...One wherein the whole of Amity Park was dead- but I don't know about the rest of the world. It was probably dead as well. The only ones left alive were Valerie…and my father." He paused, and, as the shock settled in, he continued his rant, " Oh, you were there, of course. You'd ripped me out of my other half, and I'd invaded you. Together, we became the most powerful ghost. Ever. Your human half was sucked into the power of the ghost half; your ghost side was dominant, with the ability to 'go human'. I barely defeated him and saved my family- the instrument for its creation.