A/N: Hope, you and I are probably thinking of the same person. (I'm not sure of the middle name either, lol.)
It was a beautiful day. Harry felt the warm sun on his face as he stepped outside of Number 12 and in the street of Grimmauld Place.
Ron and Hermione bustled out after him, followed by Lupin who closed the front door. As they walked away from the house, it disappeared behind them. Once on the dry paving slabs, Remus looked expectantly at his three former students.
"Right, I take it you three have Apperation licences."
Lupin knew fully well that Harry was not yet of age, and ignored the boy clicking his tongue surreptitiously
"Well, actually–" began Hermione.
"Yes!" Ron insisted, and then glared at her. She rolled her eyes.
"Good," said Lupin, ignoring Ron and Harry's guilty look. Lupin really was laid back at times, Harry thought, That's the Marauder in him I suppose.
"Well, I won't be held responsible for loss of limbs."
"Or eyebrows," Hermione added through clenched teeth.
"Ok you three, it's best if we all join hands considering you don't know where you are going." And I'm not entirely convinced of your Apperating skills, Lupin added to himself.
Ron wiped his clammy hand down his grubby jeans and then offered it to Hermione. She crinkled her nose in disgust before taking it.
"Right, after three…3"
And with that, the four of them disappeared from the empty street with a dull pop, reappearing in a dusty lane surrounded by fields. Ron turned immediately to Hermione and wiggled his eyebrows vivaciously. Hermione giggled. Harry looked around quickly.
"Uh…Lupin, are you sure this–"
"Follow me," Lupin commanded and the trio had no choice. The lane was incredibly long and uneven. Ron complained non-stop, much to all of their annoyance.
"My shoes are too small. Maybe I should make them a little bigger." He removed his wand from his pocket but Lupin shook his head quickly.
"Perhaps not, eh Ron?"
Ron looked crestfallen and placed his wand back in his jean pocket.
"Could we have not Apperated nearer the village?" Ron grumbled.
"Muggles, Ron, Muggles," Lupin said simply.
"No one asked you to come," Harry pointed out, and Ron finally took that as a sign to keep quiet.
As they wandered lazily down the country lane, Harry felt himself relax slightly. With the fine weather and beautiful setting, it was as almost as if the war had been put on hold for the boy to discover his roots. Harry risked a glance at Lupin who was walking next to him. Even he seemed unwind, though Harry noticed that the man held his wand tightly.
"You don't mind coming with us, do you?" Harry asked his old professor, trying to ignore Ron and Hermione squabbling behind them like children.
"Oh no," Lupin laughed. "In fact, I was quite honoured that you asked. It wouldn't have been safe on your own of course, but I didn't expect you to ask me of all people."
"Why not you?" Harry asked. He seemed the ideal person to Harry; someone who knew the area, the significance to Harry…and someone who would be both saddened and satisfied by the journey. As Lupin replied with a smile and a shrug, Harry couldn't be more pleased that he'd asked the man. He suddenly took the opportunity to bring up a few queries, under the pretence of casual conversation.
"So… what's Tonks up to? She said she had a mission."
Lupin's smile faded at this.
"Did she? I've not seen her since the Order meeting, Harry. I guessed she was busy at work." The man's brow creased in obvious concern. Harry felt bad for worrying the man.
"I'm sure she's fine," Harry spoke up lamely. He was annoyed that Ron and Hermione had suddenly stopped their bickering to eavesdrop. It seemed so suspicious.
"She didn't even say goodbye," Lupin said quietly.
"She said bye to us," Ron spoke up. "When we saw her–"
"After the meeting," Hermione finished quickly. "She didn't say where she was going though."
"She was acting rather weird," Ron continued. Lupin stopped and turned to him.
"Weird, how?"
"Well, she sort of had a go at us…"
"Were you doing something you shouldn't have been?" Lupin failed to hide his smile, as Ron turned pink.
"Well…yeah, but that's not the point. This is Tonks we're talking about, not Mum! I dunno, she just seemed rather…distant."
Lupin's eyes darkened at these words. He continued to walk. Harry shot Ron an exasperated look, and hurried to catch up with Lupin.
"We didn't mean to upset you," Harry panted.
"You haven't upset me, Harry," Lupin muttered as the group reached a fork in the road. Perhaps Lupin had noticed it too, Harry mused. Perhaps hearing it from somebody else confirmed his fear.
Lupin looked left, then right, and then left again. Nodding to himself, he headed down the left track, which, Ron was pleased to find, had a layer of tarmac down the centre.
"Uh, I don't suppose it's any of my business…" Harry began as he too took the left path. "But are you and Tonks…dating?"
Lupin barked a laugh at this, and Harry felt rather foolish to have asked.
"No we're not, Harry. And you're right, it isn't your business." His tone was far from harsh, much to Harry's relief. "Tonks and I have a sort of agreement."
"So you mean you're sleeping with her," Ron spoke up. Harry and Hermione turned to him with their mouths open in shock. Lupin simply regarded the boy.
"No, Ron, that's not what I meant." The man continued to walk and Harry gave Ron a sharp around his head. Hermione rolled her eyes.
"Nice going, Won-Won," she hissed before linking her arm with Harry's, leaving Ron to bring up the rear by himself.
Once the group had reached the village, Lupin spoke again.
"So Harry, where do you want to go first?"
"Well, I could do with a drink to be honest."
Ron nodded eagerly, seconding that. The four of them trundled to the nearest Muggle pub, and Hermione went inside to order the drinks, as the three wizards sat on a wooden picnic bench by a stream. Ron was batting aimlessly at the flies. They only seemed to be attracted to him, much to Harry's amusement.
Hermione brought out four glasses of iced lemonade and they accepted them gratefully.
Harry watched as the clear water ran quickly over the rocks, and under a white stone bridge, which was situated near the entrance of the pub garden. The babbling water seemed to hypnotise him, and he tuned out of the conversations around him. It had been so peaceful here. Had his father ever been here? Had he brought his mother? The village was so undisturbed. Harry wished he could have grown up with it.
He took a small sip from his glass and then lowered it with certainty.
"Lupin, have you ever heard of Horcruxes?" he spoke up suddenly, halting their conversation. Hermione knocked her glass slightly.
"Harry!" she hissed but he ignored her. Lupin looked puzzled.
"Uh, no Harry I can't say I have."
"Oh," Harry said quietly. If Lupin didn't have a clue what they were, then how did Tonks know? Lupin knew everything, in Harry's mind.
"Are you going to enlighten me?"
"Harry we shouldn't talk about this here," Hermione insisted desperately. Harry paused.
"Hermione's right. We shouldn't discuss it here. We'll talk back home," he told the man. Lupin smiled at the thought of Harry considering Grimmauld Place to be their home.
Hermione was glaring at Harry, as if he'd shared one of her own secrets.
"Oh come off it, Hermione!" Harry said heatedly. "This is Lupin. It's not as if I've told Moody. That would be stupid. He's not going to tell anyone…Are you?" Harry turned to Lupin quickly. The man shook his head, his face blank.
"I solemnly swear," he said, crossing his heart with a finger. Hermione trusted Lupin, but remained wary. Harry patted Lupin on the back.
"See. Nothing to worry about."
Once the drinks were downed, the four went for a stroll around the village. They came to the village green, and Harry suddenly bolted.
"Last one to the slide's a Crumple-Horned Snorkack!" he bellowed as he ran.
"Harry!" Hermione shouted.
"What are you doing?" Ron called after him. But Harry carried on running across the grass until he reached a play area.
Once his friends (and breath) had caught up with him, Harry gave a broad grin from the top of the tallest slide.
"Watch ok?" he demanded like a small child whose parents had seen him go up and down for the past hour. Harry pushed off with hands and slid all the way to the bottom, landing on the wood-chipped ground on his backside with a thud. A grin remained on his face.
"That's so weird," Ron spoke up. "Is that all it does?"
When Harry responded with an eager nod, Ron headed for the ladder. Hermione giggled as Ron got wedged at the top.
"Now what?" he called from the top.
"Push yourself down," Harry instructed. Ron did so, and howled all the way to the end. He, too, landed with a thud.
"Wicked! I'm getting my dad one of these."
"Lupin, your go!" Harry insisted. The man shook his head.
"I'm more of a swing's man myself," he said with an impish smile. Hermione and Lupin left Ron and Harry to take it in turns, and went to sit on the stationary roundabout. Hermione was looking agitated.
"I'm sorry about before," she murmured. "It's not that I don't trust you–"
"Hermione, it's ok."
"It's just, Dumbledore told Harry not to tell anyone. Personally, I'd be glad for you to help Harry…I'm worried about him."
"I'm worried too, Hermione. I'd be there for him in a second, he only has to ask."
"Thank you," Hermione whispered. She felt compelled to say it. Lupin smiled at her.
Ron and Harry jogged over to them.
"Right, now that's out of my system, I think I want to go see my first home," Harry told them.
"Are you sure?" Lupin asked. Harry nodded firmly.
"Let's go."
Lupin led them to a quiet lane. The stone cottages were moderately large, and their exteriors were inviting. Harry's eyes scanned the lane. His mother and father must have walked these paths. He tried to guess which one was theirs, his eyes darting from one building to another in search of some sort of clue. There were none.
"Ok, which is it?" Harry asked eagerly. Lupin pointed to the far house at the end of the track. A large willow tree stood at the end of the path. Harry ran up to it, and leant his hands on the gate. He didn't open it. It was someone's property; it would be trespassing. He merely looked up to the house. This is where it all began. His parents had lived and died in that house. Harry's life had started there. The boy found it strange that he had not visited sooner. He took a deep breath as his friends joined him.
"Can I help you?" came a woman's voice from the front garden. She was knelt on the floor, her gardening instruments in front of her. Her hair was tied back with a band and she wore a grubby apron. The woman had a Mrs Weasley-quality to her.
"Uh…" Harry began dumbly.
"We're just browsing," Ron spoke up from Harry's side. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs for his stupidity. Lupin chose to explain.
"Sorry for intruding. Some friends of mine used to live here." He paused. "They don't anymore," he added pointlessly.
The woman smiled at him regretfully.
"No they don't," she replied. "We've lived here for seven years. The Jones' before us. I'm not sure who lived here before them," she told Lupin. The man nodded.
"Thank you. Sorry for bothering you." The group turned to leave.
"I hope you find your friends," the woman called after them. Lupin smiled at her politely and walked away.
Harry was disappointed that he couldn't have stayed longer. But the house couldn't remain 'Potter' forever. He understood that. Harry wondered if its inhabitants knew of the horrific history that the house had. He doubted it.
"Did you see the swing?" Harry suddenly realised Lupin was talking to him and broke from his reverie.
"Uh, yeah." They were referring to the wooden plank, hanging from the large willow tree by two lengths of rope.
"That's been there since before you were born. Your dad made it for your mum. It didn't hold very well, naturally. She used it a couple of times, until Sirius jumped on it and broke it." The man gave a wistful smile and Harry had to laugh at the image.
"Then Lily fixed it and it's been up ever since, I see."
"It's a nice neighbourhood," Hermione commented as they passed a gang of small children, splashing each other with their hosepipe.
Is this what Harry's childhood could have been like? Harry suddenly felt bitter for having it snatched away from him.
"Can I go see my mum and dad?" he asked Lupin.
"Of course," the man replied.
"Should I take them flowers? I dunno. I've never visited a graveyard before."
"Whatever you want, Harry."
"No, tell me. Would they have liked flowers?" Harry asked desperately. Lupin gave it some thought.
"Lily would have, certainly. Your father wasn't a big flower fan."
"That's ok. I've brought something else for dad," Harry told him but said no more.
Harry stopped off at a local florist (buying a bunch of the brightest flowers they had), and the four of them headed for the graveyard. At the black, iron gates, Hermione hung back.
"We'll stay here, Harry," she said, putting a hand on Ron's arm, causing him to stop. The pair took a seat on a wooden bench. Harry nodded to them and turned to open the gate.
"Lupin, are you coming?" he called over his shoulder. Remus hesitated.
"Are you sure you want me there?"
"I do. And they will too. Come on."
The wizards wandered past many gravestones, some obviously newer than others. Lupin walked purposefully, and Harry wondered how many times the man had visited the graves of his parents.
"Do you come here often?" Harry voiced his thoughts.
"I used to. I don't so much any more," the man replied. Regret was evident in his tone.
Harry began to realise that they were slowing to a halt. Sure enough, there were two gravestones, side by side in front of him. Harry's breath caught in his throat. Seeing them there, their names carved in stone, made it so much more real. Harry couldn't hear a thing. The air was eerily still, and the yard quiet. Harry cleared his throat.
"Uh, should I say something?" He looked up to the man.
"If you want to, Harry."
The boy stood for a moment, composing his thoughts. In all his years, he had wondered what he would say if he ever came to visit his parent's place of rest. What would be the one thing he would want to tell them the most? That he loved them, of course. Crouching down by the headstone, Harry began to speak.
"Um hi Lily, James…Mum and Dad…I'm Harry, though I guess you already know that." He stopped, not knowing what else to say. "I…I'm sorry I haven't visited sooner…I'm sorry you had to die for me," the boy sniffed. "And…I'm sorry if I die too," Harry choked, feeling hot tears fall under his glasses.
"Harry," Lupin said quietly by his side, but Harry knew he had to continue.
"I hope I don't let you down. I'm trying really hard…but I know that there's a possibility that I won't make it through this war. I don't want your sacrifices to be in vain. I'll do my best, I promise."
Harry began to sob quietly to himself. He picked at a piece of moss, which had begun to grow disrespectfully over his mother's name.
"Why am I even crying?" he exclaimed. "I didn't know them. I shouldn't feel like this…I shouldn't miss them. I didn't know them," he repeated weakly. His words were followed by silence. Then Lupin crouched beside the teenage wizard and looked into his eyes; so much like his mother's.
"That's why it's so hard," he said plainly, knowing that Harry knew himself. The man placed an arm around Harry, and the boy wept onto his shoulder for a long moment. Once Harry pulled away, he composed himself with a deep breath before laying the bunch of flowers on his mother's grave.
"These are for you Mum," he mumbled. "I dunno if you like them, but my friend Hermione thought they were pretty." Harry sniffed and then delved a hand into his pocket.
"And this is for you Dad." Harry displayed a motionless Snitch in his outstretched palm. He fingered it slightly, before laying it by his father's headstone.
"Funny story actually. We'd just won a match, against Slytherin I might add, when I kinda got into trouble. Me and George… ah Dad you would love Fred and George Weasley believe me! Anyway, me and George got into a fight with some Slytherins and I got banned from Quidditch by Umbridge who is a complete bitch…I mean, a very nasty lady. Anyway, I still had this Snitch in my hand the whole evening. It was kind of a reminder. It eventually stopped flying, and I was eventually allowed to play again. I don't know why I kept it but I'm glad I did. I want you to have it, Dad. I won't be needing it anymore.
"I've always wondered if I was better at you at Quidditch. Probably not, I've heard you were very good. I wish you could have seen me play. I wanted to know what you thought; if I was any good. I made Captain last year Dad! I was pretty crap actually," Harry laughed. "Never made Prefect though," he added quietly.
"Let's see, what else can I tell you? Uh…I'm pretty good at Defence, which is lucky I suppose. I mean, I'm not bragging or anything, I just wanted you to know.
"Hmm, have I got a girlfriend?" Harry laughed at this. "Well, I dunno. There's this girl I've been seeing, Ginny, but we kinda split up. Well, I split up with her. You'd like her though. She's really nice. And I have the most amazing friends, Ron and Hermione, or Chalk and Cheese."
Harry heard Lupin chuckle next to him.
"They are so loyal, and smart…well, Hermione is anyway. They've always stuck by me, and they promise they always will. I guess they're my own Marauders," he mumbled.
"And then there's Sirius…I'm sorry about him Dad. I hope he's with you and I hope he's behaving himself. I miss him so much…" Harry trailed off. He gave a little cough.
"But I still have Lupin, which is cool." He glanced over to the man and grinned at him. "He'll look after me, you don't have to worry. You had some great friends."
A cool breeze brushed past Harry, causing him to shiver.
"Anyway, I guess I should get going. I'm not really allowed out…it's kinda sad but I'm used to it. I…I'll try to visit again soon. Maybe I'll see you soon, I don't know. Just know that I love you both, ok?"
Harry kissed the tips of his fingers and placed them on his mother's headstone, and then his father's.
"Ok, bye." He rose abruptly and Lupin followed suit. "You want to say anything?"
"I have," Lupin replied quietly. Harry nodded, understanding the man's brief words.
They joined Hermione and Ron, who sat at either end of the bench, avoiding each other's glares.
"Chalk and Cheese is right," Lupin mumbled and Harry laughed. "Ok you three, let's get you back to Grimmauld Place. I promised Molly I'd get you home in time for tea."
They joined hands and Disapperated, leaving Lily and James, and Godric's Hollow behind. Harry was sad to leave, but knew that the one's he loved never really left him. His parent's would always be there, inside of him.
A/N: Ok, those were Sirius' words at the end there. A long chapter. I hope Harry's ramblings weren't too tedious. This chapter wasn't really plot based but it had to be done. I used the Muggle pub and play park to emphasise that Godric's Hollow was a Muggle village.
While on HP Lexicon, I found out that Bowman Wright had lived there in the mid-1300's and he invented the Golden Snitch. This is where I got the idea of Harry giving James a Snitch.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter is plot-based.