Chapter 2 – Making Good Use of Byakkugan! Akamaru's New Hidey Hole!

Rock Lee sat next to the tranquil pond, gazing not at the sparkling fish, but a magazine, and firmly gazing indeed. On the back read Naughty Ninjas, volume 25.

"Lee, there you are!"

No answer.

"LEE!"

…

"LEEEEEEEE!"

"What, what is it, Gai-sensei!"

"Get ready for your mission with the other Leaf shinobi, you'll be taking off any minute!"

"O-okay, Green Lantern ninja," Lee answered in a faraway voice. "I'll be ready in the springtime of youth and all that junk-"

"Dammit, Lee! Concentrate! Remember, your youthful sensei won't be with you on this mission!"

Gai flashed a dazzling smile, gave Lee a giant thumbs up and sprinted back to the village, passing by several ninja along the way.

"What's up Lee?"

Naruto, Neji, Sakura, and Kiba waited for an answer.

"YO!" Kiba yelled.

Lee turned around, and went back to flipping through the pages. Half of his face was bright red.

"Oh…you guys."

Sakura frowned. "Hey, what happened to the curry-crazed, sugarhigh Lee? We're about to go on a serious mission you know! You shouldn't be wasting-"

Naruto cut her off.

"Oooo, dattebayo!…is that what I think it is? NO KIDDIN, volume 25, SWEET! Oooh, nothin gets better than nekid blondes and my tons of testiclosterone, hehehe…" Naruto ripped the magazine out of Lee's hand, pages of naked girls falling everywhere as the boys started crowding around him. "Come to Kyuubi, baby…oh yeah…"

"Am I the only one who finds this UTTERLY REPULSIVE?" Sakura shouted.

"Byakkugan! I love my bloodine..."

"Oh, the green beast's beast is gonna explode anytime now!"

"Okay, I guess so." Sakura tossed her pink hair defiantly. "Those girls can't be ninjas 'cos their boobs weigh them down so much, you know. There's no sense in ogling-"

"Boobies…"

"BOOBIES, dattebayo…"

"Byakkugan! Oh ho, yes…bigger boobies…"

"Good God." Sakura looked at Kiba, surprised. "What the…why aren't you getting turned on by this? Oh don't tell me – your clan doesn't have to get castra-"

Kiba shook his head.

"Nah, that's just for the dogs." He was looking at the pages like the others, only he didn't seem to have much interest. "They're just like any other shinobi to me."

Lee eyed him suspiciously.

"Then what's that balloon-sized thing swelling on the front of your pants?"

"Do we even want to know?"

"I'm definitely not Byakkugan-ing that…"

Naruto cleared his throat.

"Ahem…I believe the correct term is that our friend Kiba here is experiencing what we intelligent and mature ninja refer to as a bone-majigg…"

"Pervert!" yelled Sakura, sending him flying with her fist. She turned around to face Kiba. "Closet pervert!"

"Geez, relax guys." Kiba began to unzip his pants…

"For the love of Byakkugan!"

…as Akamaru bounded out of his crotch region barking happily.

"Well, that's a relief," said Naruto, rubbing his temple. "At least we know Kiba here's missing his balls-"

Sakura looked revolted. "That is so incredibly disgusting, I can't finish this sentence-"

"Hey! It's just Akamaru's new hidey-hole, is all."

Next Chapter: White-Haired Morons! The Last Bit of Sanity Men Have!

Kyuubi – The nine-tailed fox demon sealed inside Naruto

Bone-majigg – Perhaps Naruto was looking for the word "boner"