Disclaimer: The Lovely Jonathan Larson owns these characters.
Lyrics by Kelly Clarkson, enjoy
Hear me
Hear me
She's gone again. Probably out fucking some guy who gave her more than just a passing glance. Does she ever think about what she's doing or does she do everything by impulse? It hurts me so much. Doesn't she know that I would die for her?
I hate crying. I hate it because it makes me weak. I never wanted to be a weak person ever. I pride myself on the strength I embody. Even when I was a child and would fall down or get cut, I would never cry. Now I can't seem to stop.
You gotta be out
there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
The tears fall and fall. I wonder if I'll become like Alice and soon my tears will drown me. Maybe drowning isn't such a bad thing. It might be better than having to live thought this pain day after day. Why do I put myself through this? I'm such a masochist, I swear.
'Cause there are
these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my
dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?
I can't stay in this apartment any longer. It's driving my crazy, I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I wrap my coat around me and run out into the cold, dark, snowy night. I keep running, I can't stop. I keep hoping my legs will allow me to run out of the city. I want to leave this whole place behind me.
My legs give out and I fall onto the snow covered ground. My face connects with the wet, white pavement and I start to cry again. I can't stop. I can hear myself choke out sobs. My nails claw at the pavement and I can feel the skin crack and bleed. I don't care anymore.
Hear me
I'm
cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I slowly lift myself up from the ground and wipe my face. There are little spots of crimson in the snow from my wounded fingers. I wince as the stings from my wounds begin to settle in.
"Joanne?" I hear a voice behind me ask.
That voice. I know that voice. I turn around, tears and blood staining my face.
"Roger?"
Hear me
Can you
hear me?
Hear me
"Holy shit, are you ok?" he asks.
I could lie. I could say I'm fine, but that wouldn't make sense. If I was fine, I wouldn't be out in the snow, bleeding and crying.
"N…no," my voice trembles.
I hate being so weak, but right now I can't help it. Right now I need someone to pretend to at least give a shit about me. His face looks so concerned that I believe it's real. I hope it is.
I used to be scared
of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
I'm trembling now and Roger moves toward me. With one swoop, he pulls me off of the cold, bloody ground.
"Let's go back to my apartment," he says.
I nod and let him led me away. I'm too exhausted to argue. My pants are damp from my fall earlier and I stop for a moment. Roger stops next to me and sees my pants as well. He doesn't say anything, but instead decides to scoop me up in his arms. I'm shocked and I'm sure my face shows it. I snuggled back into his arms and just enjoy this moment.
No one to talk
to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need
you here
Are you listening?
He carries me into his apartment and sits me down on his couch.
"I'd suggest getting out of those wet clothes, but I don't think I have any clothes here for you to wear. Mimi might have left a pair of jeans or something," Roger suggests.
"My ass couldn't fit in Mimi's jeans," I say, smiling a little.
He laughs at that.
"Still, you should get out of those pants, I'll get you a blanket."
He disappears and I stand up and unbutton my black pants. I pull them off as Roger returns with the blanket. He stops and blushes. I can feel myself blush and he hands me the blanket.
"Thanks," I say, taking the blanket and wrapping it around me and sitting back down on the couch.
He nods a little and goes into the little kitchen, returning later with a steaming mug of tea.
I'm restless and
wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you
hear me?
He hands me the mug and I take a deep sip of the warm liquid.
"Maureen?" he asks, sitting next to me.
"It's always Maureen. I don't know why I put up with it," I sigh, sitting the mug down.
His arm slips around my shoulder. Maybe he can sense that I need human contact right now. Roger can be completely selfless when he wanted to be. When he was, he became the best person to go to for comfort. I curse myself as I feel the tears start to fall again.
I'm lost in my
thoughts
And baby I've fought
For all that I've got
Can you
hear me?
I fall into his chest and just sob. He wraps one arm around my lower back and his other hand rests against the back of my head.
"Just let it all out," he says, pulling me close.
I cry till I can't cry anymore. All the tears have dried up from my body. Roger lifts my chin up and makes me look at him.
"Do you feel better?"
"Y…yes thank you."
I'm lost inside the
crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for
you to please
Hear me
"Anytime."
I rest my head back against him and let out a deep breath. He feels so warm and I feel so lonely. I lift my head back up and press my lips against his. He's surprised, yet he returns the kiss. I'm so tired of living my life safe and by the rules. I mean look what it's gotten me?
I crawl into his lap a little, letting the blanket fall. His hands wrap around my hips and our kiss deepens. I pull away when I fell him grow hard underneath me. My face is flushed.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
"I've n…never been with a man before," I say.
He grins and crushes his lips against me. He rolls us so that my body is now underneath his.
"Well, I think it's about time," he grins.
Can you hear me?
Oh,
oh, oh, oh...
Hear me
Hear me
Hear me
