Thanks everyone for the encouraging reviews!  I didn't get too much response for the whole Yami point of view story, so I guess I'll keep it on the backburner for a while, just until I have time to write it, unless of course I get more feedback about it.  Here's the next chapter- and remember more reviews = updates on time (every Tuesday night most likely).  I really like to hear from readers and I do give all of your suggestions consideration, since the way that I'm writing this story changes frequently, I am always happy to listen to other ideas.     

Usual disclaimer.

Chapter 4

Realization

I must have heard that wrong.  There's no way he could have just said that.  I let out a nervous laugh.  "Okay, real funny, but I was looking for a serious answer, Yami."

He looks surprised and turns away again.  He pulls his legs up onto the couch and wraps his arms around them, while resting his chin on his knee.  He looks so small at the moment, it's hard to believe that he is the infamous Game King.  I can barely hear him say something, but it is practically inaudible.  Once I see that his mouth has stopped moving I ask him, "What did you say?  Come on Yami, you still haven't answered my question."

He turns back to me and I glance into his crimson eyes… there's something there, something that I have never quite seen before from him, but I can't put my finger on it.  He hides his face behind his legs for a moment and finally raises his head back up. 

"It's nothing.  I guess I just did it because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.  It was just instincts."  The thing that got me was he said all that in a totally monotone voice, with no expression whatsoever.  He didn't even look me in the face; he was just looking past me.  There's still something wrong here.  I lower my brow in frustration and slight anger to give him the hint that I am not satisfied with his answer. 

"Yami, I know-"

"Bakura, I'm home!  Oh, I see you got out of bed.  Sorry it took so long at the store, there were a lot people there.  I can make you that tea now if you still want!"  Damn, Ryou's home…. although, that means he can cook for me. 

"Yeah, I still want some and maybe something to eat, too."

"Okay!" he says cheerfully, with a big smile.  "Yami, do you want something too?  I know you must be hungry."

"No… I should be getting back home to Yugi, I know he's been worried.  Besides, I don't want to be in the way anymore."

"You know you are no inconvenience at all Yami.  Why don't you just stay for dinner, I'll cook!"

"That's okay, I should really be going."  Okay, time to intervene before Ryou says anything else!

"I'll show you to the door Yami."  Ryou gives me a slightly angry look, but Yami just gets up from the couch without a word and starts to head for the door.  I rise very slowly and steadily from the couch and walk over to where Yami is putting on his shoes.  Ryou has already gone into the kitchen.  I cross my arms as I watch Yami slip on his second shoe while drilling a hole into the back of his head with my stare.  He doesn't seem to notice though, because he picks up his jacket without giving me a single glance.

I move to open the door while he is putting his jacket on.  I'm letting him get away with not telling me anything.  Though this is extremely annoying, I really would rather not continue our discussion while Ryou is here, so I guess I'll just have to let it go.  I open the door and Yami steps out onto the porch.           

"You know you're not off the hook yet, Pharaoh."  I warn him.  He turns around to face me and lifts his eyes to mine with that same expression from before.  Oh Ra, I think it's come to me.  In his eyes, that look, it's… it's… a look of hurt and sorrow, like I've never seen before from someone who is always so confident with himself. 

"I know, Tomb Robber.  You're still mad because you don't know why and the sad thing is, I don't think that you'll ever know," he replies, dejectedly.  He turns to take a step off the porch.  I'm so confused right now, why is he so damn depressed sounding?  I think I actually feel guilty about this, but what do I do, what does he want from me?  I have to fix this.  I grab his wrist before he can take a step. 

Without turning around, he utters in a soft voice, "Please don't do this to me again.  I realize you enjoy tormenting others, but this is too much."  What?  He actually said "please."  This is just all wrong for him.  I guess I have been kind of an ass this whole time and he was actually helping me.  I never said thank you either… maybe that's it.  But I don't thank people!  Shit, I'm going to have to swallow my pride for this one, aren't I?  Why do these things have to be so hard?    

"Um, no, I just wanted to say… th-thank you."  I tell him, admittedly a little embarrassed.  Yami turns around and gives me a slight smile.  Well, that wasn't quite the reaction I was expecting, but it was something.  At least he didn't turn around and make fun of me or something like that.  I let go of his wrist and he walks away, saying nothing in return.  I watch him go for a moment and decide to head back into the house.  As I close the door behind me, I can't help but slump back against it.  This is so confusing.

"Bakura!  Your tea is ready!"  Well, I'll have to wait to sort this out until later.  I walk to the kitchen, where Ryou was yelling to me.  When I walk in, he smiles and holds out a cup for me and I move to take it from him.  Just as I am about to take it, Ryou pulls it back quickly. 

"What happened to your hand?!?"  Oh, I kind of forgot about that.  Now that I actually look at my hand again, it has started to bleed through the bandaging.  Stupid Ring, it should have taken care of that by now. 

"It was just an accident, that's all.  So don't worry."  He takes a small step back and puts the cup down on the kitchen counter.  He looks back at me with upset eyes.  I knew he was going to do this when he found out; he always overreacts to every little thing.  There is silence for a moment and I walk over and take my cup of tea from the counter.  I start to sip it, mmm, I really needed this.

There's something you're still not telling me, isn't there?  I guess I should respond to his question, but I really don't know what to say.  I mean, what am I supposed to say?  Sorry, Ryou, I wanted to kill myself, even if it meant leaving you.  He'd probably hate me after that…  But I can't just sit here sipping tea, without giving him an answer.  I can feel through our link that he is very scared.  He's been trying to cover it up with all that cheerfulness, but I can still see it.  It's probably going to be worse if I lie to him, because he'll always feel that I'm holding something back.  Okay, this is going to have to be worded properly, if at all possible.

What Yami told you wasn't the entire truth.  I grumble through our link quietly, without looking up from my tea.

What?

Yami lied to you to spare your feelings.  When we were fighting, we weren't fighting physically, so I didn't fall off the building by accident.

What are you saying?

I fell off on purpose....  My heart sinks as I look up to see Ryou's eyes change in realization of what I just said.  He opens his mouth slightly as if to say something, but instead, tears start falling rapidly from his eyes.  Maybe that was too blunt, but I've never been good with words.  I'm so stupid.  There is an overpowering rush of despair and pain through the link and he takes off out of the kitchen and I hear his room door slam shortly after that.

I've finished my tea and am now just standing here.  I have no idea what to do.  Maybe it was a mistake telling him the truth, but isn't it wrong to lie to people who you care about?  I know I said that I was never going to tell him, but he has a right to know and he should be able to accept it.  He should be tough…. but what am I saying, Ryou is not that sort of person.  I am the one who is supposed to be strong, but, on that building, I wasn't even strong enough to face another day.  I am being such a hypocrite and Ryou is the one suffering because of it.  I hated my life before and now I am really starting to hate myself.   

Breaking myself out of thought, I realize that Ryou has cut off his end of our link from me.  It's just as well, though, because I can't stand to have all of his emotions bombarding me anymore.  I put my cup in the sink and walk upstairs to Ryou's room quietly.  Listening at his door for a moment, I can hear him crying softly.  I should go in and try to explain things more, maybe give him some sort of reassurance.  I try the handle, but he has locked the door.  If that's the way he wants to be then I'll just wait until he calms down a bit and decides to come out of his room on his own.  Until then, I need to go somewhere where I can think this all through.  The next things I say to him are going to be crucial and they can't be off the top of my head like last time. 

"Ryou....." I call through the door.  "Ryou, I'm going to go for a walk, okay?  I just want to get some fresh air… Bye."  There is no response.  He must be mad at me.  I feel bad leaving him alone like this, but I desperately need some time of my own, completely by myself.  This will give him a while to get himself under control.  Yes, that's it.  We just need a little time apart.

To be continued-