Chapter 5: Alice's Bad News
(In the boathouse…)
Dillon: That was easier than I thought.
Brook: Yeah. Who knew Cook would be on a bathroom break?
Dillon: My mother is going to kill me.
Diego: There will be leftovers. Besides, it not like we took everything.
Brook: Granny is gonna flip. (laughs)
Lulu: It's gonna be great.
Georgie: I'm surprised we didn't get caught.
Brook: You are going to jinx it.
Georgie: You don't believe that, do you?
Brook: I do. (laughs) What?
Dillon: Shall we?
Lulu: Shall we what?
Diego: Dig in!
Brook: Sounds good…Although pizza also sounded good. (laughs) Just not with the family.
Dillon: I would PAY to see my mom eat pizza.
Brook: Granny wouldn't even look at it.
Lulu: (laughs)
Georgie: I almost feel bad.
Brook: Why?
Georgie: Dillon, when was the last time your family had a good Thanksgiving dinner? (pause) Never mind. (laughs) I guess you wouldn't know.
Dillon: (shakes head) I have no idea.
Diego: Well, it's not like pizza is BAD.
Dillon: You HAVE met my mother, right? Right?
(They all laugh.)
Lulu: Eh…So what? As long as no one find out we um…stole the food? (laughs)
Georgie: It is too obvious. The food is missing. So are we.
Brook: We are not missing. We are in the boathouse. The family knows that. Besides…Dillon and I? We had a conversation. Not one mention about the plan.
Georgie: Still…It's too obvious.
Diego: Then we should head back.
Dillon: Why? (laughs) To divert suspicion?
Lulu: Exactly.
Dillon: This is a REAL bad movie.
Lulu: Oh! You and your movies!
(They all laugh again.)
(Back at the Q's…The family is gathered in the den.)
Alice: Yo! May I have everyone's attention?
Tracy: Ugh. "Yo?"
Monica: What's going on, Alice?
Alice: I have some…some news.
Ned: Uh oh.
Edward: It's about dinner.
Lois: Now, Mr. Q, we don't know that.
Alan: Yes, we do.
Alice: I'm afraid you are correct. The food has been stolen, and Cook is NOT pleased.
Luke: Who cares about Cook? What about the food?
Coleman: Yeah!
Skye: Oh please.
Lorenzo: Someone explain to me how ALL the food goes missing.
Justus: Sounds strange to me.
Alice: Correction…There is still some food. But the turkey…
Alan: Oh for Godsakes!
Alice: Is gone.
Lainey: Well…Could the kids have taken it?
Tracy: Dillon! Ugh.
Ned: Brook!
(Dillon and Brook enter.)
Dillon: Yes?
Brook: You called?
Tracy: Ha! The innocent act? Not buying it.
Lois: Brookie, baby. Did you and your friends steal Thanksgiving dinner?
Brook: Um, no. Why would we do that?
Ned: Because none of you want to spend the holiday with the family.
Brook: I never said that…Did I?
Skye: Where are the others?
Dillon: Still in the boathouse!
Coleman: With our food!
Luke: Our food? Who invited you again?
Edward: You two can argue all you want; I, for one, want a REAL Thanksgiving dinner.
Luke: Good point, Pops. Let's go get the food!
Alice: I'm right behind you, Mr. Luke. (pause) Wait one minute. (leaves)
Monica: Where is she going?
Ned: Who knows?
Tracy: Who cares?
Edward: Do we have to wait?
Luke: Aww, but it's Sunshine!
Tracy: Oh would you stop that?
Luke: Jealous, Spanky Buns?
Alan: WHY do you insist on calling my sister that?
Luke: Because she likes it.
Tracy: I do not!
Luke: Oh yes you do! That…And Sugar Plum, and Spunky, and Pretty Pink Pepp—
Dillon: Yoo hoo! Yeah. Over here. Since we apparently aren't being served any time soon, Brook and I are just going to head back to the boathouse. Okay? (pause) Okay. (to Brook) Let's go. Now.
Justus: Yep. Something is definitely going on.
Edward: And we are not following them because?
Tracy: (imitating) Because we are waiting for Sunshine. (rolls eyes)
Alice: (enters with her broom) Let's go get our food!
Tracy: You are NOT eating with us.
Luke: She sure is. She is sitting right next to me.
Tracy: Oh sure! Why sit with your wife when you can sit with the maid? (to Luke) Apparently, you do not remember what we discussed earlier.
Luke: Tracy—
Tracy: Let's just get the food, damnit!
Alice: (charges with her broom) Da da doom!
Lois: What is she doing?
Luke: Right behind you, Sunshine!
Lorenzo: (to Skye) How do you deal with this lunacy?
Monica: Hey! I heard that. If you insult this family one more time, I'll throw you and your little friend out!
Alan: That "little friend" is my daughter!
Tracy: She is NOT!
Luke: The food people, the food! Let's go! (runs outside)
(The family follows.)
(Dillon and Brook arrive at the boathouse out of breath.)
Dillon: They know. The family knows. We need to go now.
Diego: Now?
Brook: Yes! Take as much food as you can!
Lulu: What are we going to do with it?
Dillon: Well we transported here, didn't we?
Georgie: Very slowly.
Diego: This makes no sense. Let's just leave the food here. There's enough for everyone.
Georgie: You don't understand. We should have never "stole" the food in the first place.
Brook: Dillon's mom is evil, remember? My Granny.
Diego: Not this "evil" thing again.
Dillon: Look! We need to bolt! Now!
Lulu: I don't know. Maybe Diego has a point. If the Quartermaines finally have their traditional dinner, then no one can complain, right?
Dillon: You're supposed to side with me; you're my stepsister!
Lulu: Only because my father was stupid enough to marry your mother!
Dillon: Hey, my mom is not that bad!
Brook: Could we argue about this later? Please.
Dillon: (ignores Brook) Besides, wasn't it your idea to skip the family dinner?
Lulu: (pause) Yes.
Dillon: So you out of all us, you should not be giving up!
Lulu: You know what? You're right!
Brook: You ARE right!
Lulu: (taking control) All right. All right. Whatever happens, we do NOT give the family the food. Not until AFTER we have our own dinner.
Diego: So…What do you want us to do?
Lulu: Go! Just take something and go.
Diego: I don't understand. Where are we going to run? Away from the family?
Dillon: Sounds good to me! Let's go! I got the turkey! Whoa! I don't remember it being this big.
Brook: Don't drop it. (laughs)
Lulu: Yeah, Dillon. Then we'll ALL be having pizza.
(The others gather the food; they run outside the boathouse)
Alice: (with her broom) Not so fast!