Chapter 6 – Frightened Jiraiya! The Worst Opponent!

Naruto stood fiercely across the entrance doors of Facility 11.

"C'mon, you muscleheads! Why don't you be real men and face me!"

One of the guards waved a pink handkerchief in reply

"Oh my gosh Brad, I'm like, so scared!"

"Yeah, my high heels are quaking, boo hoo."

"Hun, do you even know who you're dealing with?"

Suddenly, all the color went out of Jiraiya.

"What's wrong, Jiraiya-sannin?" asked Sakura, worried.

"I…I forgot something at home…I have to go back…my frogs need care…"

"Dammit," Kakashi muttered. "They must have known he was coming, so they prepared accordingly."

"What are they!" Neji demanded as his Byakkugan blazed. "I've never seen these ninja before."

"Jiraiya-sannin's worst opponents, the only ninja he has never defeated – the Mascu-nin."

"That's right, sweetie," replied one of the guards. "We're gonna treat you boys right!" Jiraiya ran away screaming into the forest.

"Sparkly no Jutsu!"

"Homosexy no Jutsu!"

"Ugly Man-icure no Jutsu!"

"Steel Worker Outfit no Jutsu!"

"Richard Simmons no Jutsu!"

Within moments, Lee was covered in stinging perfume, Neji had grown enormous lips and breasts, Sakura sprouted nails the size of tree limbs, Kakashi was surrounded by shadow clones of a sweaty man in overalls and nothing else, and Kiba was getting molested by Akamaru, who had turned into some kind of energetic half-ape, half-man who kept repeating exercise mottos.

"What do you think of us now, doll?" asked one of the Mascu-nin, smiling sweetly. Naruto felt a flicker of fear but stood his ground. Think Naruto, think, dattebayo! There has to be a way!

And then the answer came…so simple, so obvious! Too bad Neji was the one who thought of it.

"Naruto! use Sexy no Jutsu!"

"Of course! Thanks Hinata!"

"It's Neji, dumbass."

"Right, Neji!…SEXY NO JUTSU!" And with a POOF, Naruto transformed into a sultry, naked blonde, blowing seductive kisses to all the guards. The mascu-nin screamed in agony.

"A…n-n-naked…g-g-g-irl! They're using super forbidden techniques!"

"Their power is like, SO beyond ours…come on boys, let's shoo."

"Oh my gosh, they scratched my man purse! I'm outta here!"

As the last of the mascu-nin fled into the forest, Naruto pumped his fist in the air.

"Yes! Way to go…uh…dude with no irises. Of course, Sakura could've just taken off her clothes and saved us all the trouble-"

"Would you shut up? I'm already trying to dispel these jutsu effects!"

Neji scowled. "We still haven't accounted for the Mist swordsman yet."

"And look who's on cue," said Kakashi, pointing towards the warehouse.

Two enormous figures emerged out of the entrance doors. A deep, dark growl of a voice answered the leaf ninjas.

"Enough. It ends…NOW."

Next Chapter: A Merciless Foe! The Unique Swordsman of the Mist!