Chapter 5

Reflection

I am so stupid.

After walking for a while, I've ended up here, on this park bench.  The sunset is breathtaking, with an amazing variety of colors reflecting off the many clouds.  There's a slight wind, but I can't even bring myself to care about it the moment.  Being the idiot I am, I forgot to bring a jacket with me, at least I remembered to put some decent clothes on.  So now I am actually getting quite cold, but it doesn't matter anymore.

Luckily, there is no one around to disturb me.  I don't know what I would do to someone who was unfortunate enough to annoy me when I'm in a mood like this.  My body feels so heavy right now, so I slump farther down into the bench, maybe that will help.  There is also this incessant gnawing feeling in my chest that won't go away and it's making me become all the more miserable.  I lean my head back to rest on top of the back of the bench and look up into the darkening sky.

I have got to be the biggest idiot in the world right now… I am such a terrible person.  Before, I just hated my life, now I hate myself as well.  I shouldn't be allowed to have close relationships with anyone.  I just end up hurting everyone, even Yami, who I consider to be my rival, but now he probably wants nothing to do with me.  I have managed to alienate even my enemies, I wonder if there's some sort of prize for that?

Yami was acting so strangely though.  I can't understand it.  Why did he want to help me all of a sudden?  Through all of our fights and whenever I would try to steal his Puzzle, he never once showed concern for me.  Though, he has never really physically hurt me before.  It's always been mind games or playing Duel Monsters or something like that.  Come to think of it, I don't think I've actually ever thought about hurting him, either.  He has always seemed like too good of a rival to kill.  I suppose I actually enjoyed sparring with him every once in a while, but now that's gone.  I am not the rival he once had; I am just some pathetic old spirit who has nothing anymore, no motivation whatsoever. 

Maybe he wanted to help me because of that.  He didn't want to loose his adversary, but am I giving myself too much credit?  I can't possibly be that fun to fight with anymore, just look at our last fight.  It was pathetic.  And what was that crap about him caring about me?  That had to have been his version of a joke that was supposed to get me mad at him for even suggesting it, to spark my fire so to speak.  But, he said it so seriously… He must not be good at telling jokes.  He was the Pharaoh, so he probably doesn't have too much experience with those sorts of things.  Nobody cares about me, except Ryou, but that is just because I am the other half of his soul, probably a half he wishes he never had.

Ryou… how am I going to fix that situation?  Although he has gotten stronger over time, since I've been with him, he is still so sensitive about certain things, things like me.  He has matured and made new friends and even become much closer to Yugi and all of his friends.  He doesn't need me anymore; he is fine on his own.  All I have done is hurt him anyway.  The fact is, he would be better off without me around.  I should just leave Ryou's life altogether.  I can't leave him like this though, that's too harsh, even for me.  I hate this stupid conscience thing.  He will be sad at first, but he will get over it.  In reality, everyone would be better off without me around.  It's not like anyone will notice anyway if I leave.  The only time anyone ever sees me is if I'm in the way or causing some sort of problem.  Nobody considers me a threat any longer.  I was once the feared Tomb Robber that no one would dare to even look at the wrong way, but now look at what I've become, a dismal excuse for a once powerful ancient spirit.    

Gazing upwards, I see a raindrop fall from the night sky and feel it land directly on my forehead.  Great, it's starting to rain.  This is just what I needed.  I should get up now, but I can't bring myself to move.  My body is refusing to do anything.  I didn't eat anything before I left though.  I've only had that tea, although, that was enough to keep me from passing out again. 

There's a crash of thunder and it starts to rain much harder.  I close my eyes against the pelting rain.  This is almost calming enough that I could fall asleep right now, but then Ryou would be worried when I don't come back.  He doesn't need anything more to worry about than what he has already.  With a little effort, I sit up a bit with my head hanging down, the water dripping from my already soaked hair.  I see a bright flash and instantly afterwards there is deafening thunder.  The lightning strike must have been very close; maybe I should try to find shelter.  I think it would be rather unpleasant to be fried to a crisp by a lightning bolt. 

I rise slowly from the park bench and start walking.  It's practically raining sheets of water by now and I can't see much, so I just pick a direction and go.  I fold my arms and stare down at the ground while walking along aimlessly.  I think that this storm is actually making me more wretched than I already am.  I try desperately to focus on thinking about what to say to Ryou when I get back, but the numb feeling spreading throughout my body is too distracting.

I've been walking for some time now.  I've even passed by several shops with an overhanging roof that would have protected me some, but I just haven't felt like stopping.  I see some places that I recognize, so at least I have a vague idea of where I actually am.  Turning a corner, I lift my head to see that ridiculous looking game shop that Yugi's grandfather owns.  Maybe I can sit the storm out at his house… Yugi is way too nice to turn me away, even if he doesn't like me.  Yami will be there too of course.  He probably doesn't want to see me again and I'm sure he has told Yugi about what happened, so I doubt he wants to see me either.  But, I don't know where any of the others live and it's not like I really want to have much to do with them anyway.  At least Yugi is polite enough not to pry or anything like that and maybe I'll get lucky and Yami won't be around.  Okay, decision made, no matter how annoying the consequences of this action are going to be, I really need to get out of this storm.

I walk around the back of the store to the front door of the connected house and raise my hand to ring the doorbell.  Hesitating for a moment, I realize that this is going to be a severe blow to my pride if I do this, but it's not like I have much left.  It'd be better than Yugi coming out and finding my half-drowned body after the storm is over.  I know I must look like total shit right now and I have no energy left to at least stand up straight to present a slightly more dignified appearance, but I don't care anymore.  Well, I have procrastinated long enough and I slowly push the button to ring the doorbell.

After a few seconds, the door opens slowly and through my blurred vision I see a form that looks like Yami, but from the height I can tell that it is Yugi.  Good, at least it wasn't Yami who answered.

"Bakura!  What are you doing out in a storm like this?"  Yugi exclaims as he puts his hand to his mouth.  He looks incredibly surprised with those huge eyes wide open.

"Oh, I don't know… I guess I just wanted to come over and say hi," I answer, as sarcastically as possible in my present condition.

"Come inside and I'll go get you a towel."  He runs off and I step inside.  I don't think that I have ever been in this house without Ryou.  I feel kind of out of place, somehow or maybe it's just that this house doesn't like me.  I slip off my soaked shoes and stand there, watching a puddle form around me.

"Here's a towel.  I found one of my big pajama shirts and some shorts you can change into.  The shorts might be a little tight around the waist, but they're better than my pants.  I don't think that you would fit into any of my normal clothes," he adds with a little smile. 

I look up at him to take the clothes from him and the smile instantly drops from his face.  He looks back at me with pity in his eyes.  Damn, I hate this; I have never been pitied before.  But Yugi is not the type that will take cheap shots at me in my moment of weakness.  Hopefully, he won't even tell anyone else about this. 

"Thank you…" I whisper as I turn away from him.  I've been saying those words too much lately.                          

"I'll show you where you can change.  Don't worry about getting water on the floor."  He starts to walk away and I follow.  He leads me to the bathroom and I walk in.  "You change and I'll go make you something hot," he says with a big smile as he closes the door. 

I turn around and see myself in the mirror above the sink.  Ra, I look absolutely horrid, worse than a drowned rat.  No wonder Yugi looked at me like that.  I change out of my wet clothes and dry my hair.  Yugi's clothes are a bit tight, but they're probably bigger than most of Yami's clothes, considering his fashion sense.

I finish drying off and ring out my clothes in the sink.  The bandaging on my hand is also soaked through.  Unwrapping it, I see that the cut still hasn't stopped bleeding, but it's not bleeding as much as it was.  I guess that's a good sign.  I look around for something to use and I find some gauze and tape.  I put the gauze over my cut and wrap the tape around my hand.  There.  It's not as good as it was, but it'll work for now. 

I take one last look at myself in the mirror before opening the door and stepping out.  I am still rather cold and numb, but it is pretty much bearable now.  Yugi comes around the corner, apparently having heard the door open.  "I can put those in the dryer for a little while if you want."

"Sure," I reply as I hand him my clothes.  He quickly leaves with them and now I am alone.  It's so quiet in here.  I wonder where his grandfather and Yami are.  It is sort of late, so maybe his grandfather is already asleep, but I doubt Yami is.

Yugi pops his head around the corner and smiles, "You don't have to stay there.  Come into the kitchen and have some tea and something to eat." 

I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table.  I know I am hungry, but I just feel so awful that I don't think that I can keep any food down.  Yugi puts a cup of tea and a plate of apple slices, cheese, and crackers in front of me.  He sits across from me with his own food and takes a sip of tea.  I stare at the food deciding whether or not to attempt eating it.  I really should, hopefully it will make me feel a little better.

"I didn't know if you were hungry or not, so I just made something small.  If you want something else, just ask!" he says with way too much cheerfulness.  I guess I'll try eating. 

"No, this is fine…" I pick up a piece of apple and take a small bite. 

"So, why were you out in the storm like that?"  Damn, I was hoping he wasn't going to ask.  "And what happened to you?" he adds.  More questions I don't want to answer.  "Yami said that you were hurt and that he was going to stay over at you're house for a bit, but he didn't tell me much besides that.  When he finally came home, he went straight to his room and hasn't come out since.  I'm really worried, do you know what happened?"

"I didn't want to be at home." I answer tiredly and truthfully for some reason.  Why am I actually being honest with this little brat?  I don't think I've ever had a civilized conversation with him before, so why now?  Have I really lost this much of my former personality to not care that I am associating with Yugi of all people?  Well, I guess Yugi is the best one to pick out of his little group.    

"What?"

"That's why I was out in that storm."

"Oh."

"I don't know what Yami's problem is.  You'll have to figure that one out on your own."

Oh, okay… but what happened to you and your hand?  Do you want me to look at it?"

"No.  I just got hurt, that's all."

"But Yami-"

"I'd really rather not talk about it." I cut him off.  I don't want to have to explain any of this to him.  Although, I am really surprised that Yami didn't tell him much.  I always thought that they were really close and they told each other everything.

"O-Okay…" He looks away from me.  He probably feels bad for asking too many questions.  He is so sensitive, just like Ryou.  I look at the clock on the wall and I suddenly realize how long it's been since I left the house and Ryou alone.  I should get back to him, but I still haven't figured out what I'm going to say when I do.  I look out the window and see that it has practically stopped raining.  I really want to check on him, but I don't want to have to talk to him.  I look back over to where Yugi is sitting.

"Yugi," he turns back to me, "Do you think that you could call my house to check on Ryou and tell him that I am here?" 

He gives me a puzzled look but quickly changes it into a smile.  "Sure!"  He goes into the other room and I finish my food and tea.  It was hard to eat at first, but I have slowly started to feel slightly better.  At least I don't feel so light headed now.

"Bakura?" Yugi pops back into the room.  "If you don't mind, I'm going to leave you here because Ryou asked me to come over.  I already told Yami what's going on.  My grandpa is out of town, so it's just you two.  You can come into the living room and lay on the couch if you want."

Well, it's probably a good thing that Yugi is going over there.  I would hate for Ryou to be alone any longer and him and Yugi seem to be pretty good friends from what I've seen.  Maybe Yami will just stay in his room and I can have some time to myself.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!  You must still be cold!"  Was I shivering that much?  "Here's a blanket and there's the couch.  You can watch tv or a movie if you want.  I'll call a little later and let you know how long I'll be over there, okay?"

I nod slowly in agreement.

"Okay then, ja ne!"

I watch him leave and keep staring at the door after he has shut it.  This is weird.  I am practically alone in this house that Yugi has trusted me to behave in.  I must really not look myself if he thinks that I'm not going to do anything terrible to his house while he is gone. 

I sit down on the couch and put the blanket around my shoulders.  Now that I have something around me, I realize how cold I still am.  I look at my hand and the poor bandaging job I did on it earlier.  Blood has already started to soak through the gauze again. 

"That still hasn't healed?" I hear from behind me.  I think I jumped too, which would be embarrassing.  I turn around and see Yami walking down the stairs.  He walks over to me and sits next to me on the couch.  He still looks incredibly tired.

"Do you want me to help you?"  He actually asked.  I'm a little startled by his question, but I nod in agreement anyway.  I really hate feeling physically weak in any way.  It's frustrating.  And I have to admit that for some reason, now it's not so bad if he helps me. 

He moves a little closer to me and takes his Puzzle from around his neck.  He puts it in his lap and takes hold of my hands.  Once my arms are extended all the way he lets go, picks up his Puzzle, and puts it into my hands.  He covers my hands with his own and closes his eyes.  I see the Eye of Horus appear on his forehead and there is an amazing warmth that rushes through my entire body.  I close my eyes and relax in the overwhelming feeling. 

I sense the power start to slack off and I open my eyes.  Yami still has his eyes closed, but he seems to be swaying a bit.  Slowly he starts to fall forward.  What should I do, I can't just let him fall!  I let go of the Puzzle and grab hold of Yami before he falls any further.  He still hasn't woken up.  I sit there, holding him upright, wondering what to do.  We can't just stay like this until he wakes up and the reason he is like this is because he used too much of his power on me, so it's my fault.  I don't feel cold anymore thanks to him and he healed my cut.  I should return the favor, even though that is normally not in my character.  There's that damn conscience again.  I've become soft.   

I move closer to Yami and lean him against the back of the couch.  After spreading out the blanket so it is around the both of us, I wrap my arm around him and take hold of his other shoulder.  I adjust my position a bit so that his head rests on my own shoulder.  His hair is sort of in my face, but I don't mind at this point. 

This is so embarrassing and if anyone were to walk in on this scene, I would kill them where they stood, but at the same time it's… nice.  What am I thinking?!  I think I've actually turned red from the absurdity of the thought.  But this is a different feeling than when I hold Ryou, similar but different.  It's actually quite pleasant and I am content to sit here as long as the time it takes for Yami to wake up.  I think I like this.

Maybe coming over here wasn't such a bad idea after all. 

To be continued-

Okay, so this chapter was practically a double chapter for me.  I couldn't decide where to stop!  Anyways, I might wait an extra week to update again, depending on my schedule or unless I get a lot of reviews from those of you who want the next chapter up right away.  Let me know what you thought of this chapter!  Thanks!!