Title: Trying to live the dream (Yeah, I know... weak title. But I can't think of anything better right now).
Author: 6helterskelter6
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Alias, any of its characters. I own nothing. Just some CD's. Not even this computer.
Summary: Sydney and Sark were happy and in love and then it was just taken away. - AU (mostly). It's a 3-part challenge entry for the November challenge.

PS - the italics in the middle of sentances are thoughts and the rest of the italic portions are flashbacks (or writings).

Part I

Sark opened the front door of his apartment and dropped everything on the ground. He slowly walked into the kitchen. Looking around, he saw that there were still dirty dishes left over from the previous night. I don't care about those anymore. I just want them to disappear.

The room, and all of the other rooms, were filled with happy memories. Happy memories were the last thing that he needed now. Not when he was in so much pain. Pain that could have been avoided if he had just listened to her.

In the kitchen, glancing at his surroundings, trying to take everything in, he noticed a bottle of vodka sitting on the counter. He grabbed the bottle and a glass and began to pour. He drank the vodka within seconds and felt worse than he had before. Why did this have to happen!

Sark threw the glass against the wall, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces. He let out a blood curdling scream and tears filled his eyes. He backed up, almost falling with each step, and stopped against a wall, slipping towards the floor. With his head in his hands he began to cry himself to sleep on his kitchen floor. Soon the room was silent, and Sark was dreaming of happier times.

Sydney jumped into the lake, not wearing a swimsuit, but wearing her tank top and shorts.

"Oh come on Julian!" Sydney taunted Sark. "The water's just fine." She threw him a come hither look.

"Syd, you know I can't resist you," he dove into the water "especially when you look at me like that."

They swam towards each other. Sark pulled Sydney into his arms and put his lips softly on hers. "What was that for?" Sydney asked, smiling.

" Sydney, there's something that I need to tell you." He looked straight into her eyes. She giggled at the serious look on his face. "Syd, this is serious."

"Okay, then get on with it." She looked into his eyes with a semi-serious look in her eyes, but still grinning.

"There's something that I've been meaning to tell you for a little while now, but I haven't know how to say it." He looks down into the water. She notices his pause and tilts his head to look at her again.

"What is it Julian?" She says seriously.

" Sydney… I love you." Sark looked at her questionably, just to see if she felt the same way. She smiled and kissed him sweetly on the cheek. She noticed his lips fall into a frown and she pulled his head to hers and kissed him with an extreme ferocity.

"I've been waiting to hear that Julian, because I love you too." His frown instantly turned into a gigantic grin.

"Miss Sydney Anne Bristow," he smiled "you gave me quite a scare" and he kissed her passionately.

Sark quickly got up and decided that the kitchen was not the best place to sleep, especially when in this kind of state. He grabbed the vodka bottle and walked towards the bedroom. He couldn't help but remember the things that they had done in that small apartment.

"Agent Bristow," he said, taunting her, "You are not getting away from me that easily."

"Oh, sure I am," she said, with the same cockiness.

"I don't think so…" he ran towards her and she ran away giggling.

"You're never going to catch me Mr. Sark," she said as she tripped over the carpet and landed on the sofa.

He jumped on top of her and began to tickle her, sending her into a larger fit of giggles. " Sydney, you should know that I can get you anytime I want."

"Oh, you believe that don't you," she said as she pulled his head to hers and kissed him lightly. "You shouldn't be so sure."

"Sydney Anne Bristow, don't you say such a thing. I think that I might have just proven that I can get you any time I would like," he said smiling. "I can always catch up to you. I will always find you. I'm never going to lose you." He kissed her with a fiery passion.

"Well, Sydney. Look at me now. I lost you, and I'm miserable. I'm never going to find you again." He couldn't take the pain anymore. He put the bottle down and left the apartment. It was raining hard, but he didn't notice. He walked up to the front door of his car and opened the door.

Sark and Sydney were running fast. Bullets were flying around them. Slamming the door to the outside open, they quickly ran out into a parking lot. Running to the car which they had conveniently parked close to the exit of both the building and the parking lot, they jumped into the front seats. "Let's go Sark!" Sydney yelled.

"I'm going love." Sark said, turning the engine on and pulling out of the parking spot as fast as he could.

They sped out of the parking lot as fast as the car could go, avoiding all oncoming traffic. They were both surprised that they hadn't hit anything or anyone with the way that Sark was driving. "I think you can be a little less careless now Julian." Sydney yelled.

Sark suddenly looked in the rear view mirror and noticed that they were not being followed. "Sure. Just keep looking behind us to make sure that we're not being followed. Ok?"

Sydney nodded "Ok. I'll keep looking and you keep turning me on with your reckless driving and attitude."

Sark laughed at her impeccable timing "Syd, are you trying to tell me that me endangering our lives is a sure-fire way to get you into bed?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say Mr. Sark." She said quite seductively. "If you pull over anytime soon, you can see the amazing outcome of your actions."

"Oh really?" he pulled over the car and into a parking lot. He went to the lowest level where there were no cars at all. Sydney climbed into his lap and began to ravish his lips with hers.

He drove for hours, just thinking about her. It was still pouring rain from the black sky. He thought that it was perfect. It should rain forever because she was gone. He pulled over at their favourite spot. It was a beautiful park that was normally filled with people, but not on this unhappy evening.

He got out of the car, not bothering to take the keys with him, or even turn off the ignition. No one would be stealing his car tonight, no one was out. He walked to the middle of the park and screamed at the top of his lungs. He collapsed to his knees, sobbing. He was broken. No one had ever broken him. He used to be strong. He used to be hard, unbreakable, cold, immune to all pain. Now all he could feel was pain.

He remembered what she had said to him when they were in the park one afternoon. "When I get back from a mission, if you can't find me, then come to this tree" she walked over to a large willow tree near the amphitheatre, "and I'll come find you. Just come here for me" she smiled and jumped into his arms.

He had been waiting for her for five days, and she hadn't returned from her latest mission. He thought that she had gone back home, left him, but that hadn't been it. No one knew where she had lived, no one knew who to call. It wasn't until he went to LA and saw Jack Bristow, Agent Vaughn, Agent Weiss, Agent Dixon, you name it. He saw them all, and they were broken, just like him. But it was worse for him. He had lost the only love that he had known.

He was told that she had drowned. The mission had been completed successfully, she had gone back to the hotel and went for a swim. The people she had stolen the artefact had caught up with her and found her in the swimming pool, doing her laps. They told him that she had been shot, her right lung had been punctured by the bullet and she had tried to swim to the edge of the pool, but fell under the surface of the water before she could.

There was a video. A surveillance feed from the hotel cameras. She was crying as she died. That made Julian, the young man, alone in the park, cry even harder. She had been hurt and he couldn't get to her in time. She had been scared, and he hadn't been there to help her.

He had returned home many hours ago. He sat in front of the television, nursing a bottle of tequila, not paying any attention to what was on the television. He just needed some background noise. The house was too empty without her. He couldn't sell it, because it still held a part of her in it, but he didn't want to be there anymore. This was all he did now.

It had been a week. Sydney's funeral had been the day before and he watched from the shadows of the other dead. He waited for the others to leave before seeing her. He sat against her tombstone for hours. He must have fallen asleep talking to her because when he opened his eyes again, it was light. He felt better there. She was watching him.

" Sydney, do you do this often" he asked playfully one morning. He had just woken up to see Sydney staring at him.

"Yes, I do. Sometimes I just watch you sleep. You're so beautiful when you sleep Julian" she whispered to him.

"You're beautiful all the time Syd" he held her close to him "I don't know what I'll do if you ever leave me" he mused.

"Well, I guess it's good that I never want to. I'll never leave you Julian" she smiled and kissed him softly, "What will you do if I ever leave?" she asked playfully and kissed him again.

He traced his fingers over the inscription.

Sydney Bristow

Beautiful friend, colleague and daughter

Died serving her country

17 April 1972 – 11 November 2005

He pulled a box out of his pocket and opened it, facing her headstone. He opened it and revealed a platinum band with a glorious diamond in the centre. He tearfully whispered to her "For our next life, my love" and he buried the ring in the earth beside her headstone. He stood and walked away.